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Letters Never Sent (The Crumpled Sheets Remix)

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Dear Mrs McNally,

I am a friend


Dear Mrs. McNally,

You do not I have the sad duty to


Dear Mrs. McNally

Do you believe in Vampires? Because tha


Dear Mrs. McNally

Jesse didn't run away. Jesse is dead and I kil


Dear Mr. McNally

I am sure you want to know what happened to Jesse. Willow doesn't want to tell you, and I am sure you will think I've gone around the bend, but Jesse was killed by Vampires. I


Dear Mr. and Mrs. McNally

I'm pretty sure you won't believe me, but here's the truth of what happened to Jesse:

We went out to the Bronze and he scored a date with a hot girl. Unfortunately that girl turned out to be a vampire, and I mean a real one, with the teeth and the drinking of blood and no silly cloaks. And he took off with her and a day later we met up and she had killed him and turned him into a


I am so sorry, Mrs McNally. I really am. I tried to help, I tried to save him, but I couldn't. And now Jesse's dead, and I was it might have been me. Maybe it should have been me. I mean he has parents who miss


Dear Mrs. McNally

I know that you miss Jesse a lot. We do too. And it is probably a lot worse for you, because you don't know what happened.

You will not believe it, but I need to tell you the truth. Jesse was killed by totally real vampires. They actually exist and suck blood and kill people and that why so many people go missing here in Sunnydale. And Jesse was turned into one of them and I had to


Dear Mrs. McNally

I'm sorry, I didn't say anything when I called yesterday. I thought I'd explain it all to you on the phone, but I couldn't do it, and then I got scared and I had to hang up. I really am sorry, Mrs. McNally.


Dear Mrs. McNally

I need to explain. Vampires are real. Please don't trow away the letter, Mrs. McNally, it's the truth, I swear. And it was a vampire that killed Jesse.


Dear Mrs. McNally

Vampires are real. I need to explain to you what happened to Jesse. So that you know and


Dear Mrs. Mc


Dear Ms. McNally

Is that the right way? Willow tells me Mrs. is dated and should not be used, and I really have never written a letter before to somebody and I wanted to explain what happened to Jesse. I was there and this is going to be strange and you have to believe me that I'm telling you the truth. Vampires are real, and one vampire called Darla, she snatched Jesse, who thought he had scored a date, but it was a trap and she killed him and turned him into a vampire too, and after that I had to kill what was left of Jesse, and I am so sorry, and I really miss him, and I'm sure you miss him more and it should have been me, but I didn't even have the b


Dear Mrs. McNally

I'm trying to come up with a way to tell you what happened to Jesse, so that you will believe me, and I can't think of anything.

But actually it doesn't matter if you believe me. Jesse was killed by vampires and I destroyed what was left of him. I didn't want to, but i had to, or the vampire in Jesse's body would have killed more people. God, I know how that sounds and I'm pretty sure you already plan to call the police, but it's important that I tell you so you're not left wondering like all the other parents and


Dear Mrs. McNally

Jesse was turned into a vampire and I staked him accidentally and he turned to dust in front of my eyes. I am so sorry, Mrs. McNally. I really am.


Dear Mrs. McNally

I am sorry about Jesse. I know you think he ran away, but he didn't. He was caught by a stupid nasty evil vampire named Darla, who suckered him and he was killed.


Dear Mrs. McNally

If Jesse wasn't such a stupid horn dog, he'd still be alive, but no, he had to run off with a girl who suckered him in. But the girl wasn't a girl, she was a vampire and she killed him and sent him out as bait for Willow and me and we almost took it, but we were saved, but Jesse wasn't. I'm so sorry


Dear Mrs. McNally

Jesse


Dear Mr. McNally

You don't know me like Mrs. McNally does, but you know I was your son's best friend together with Willow. Thus I want to tell you what happened to him, even if you will not believe me. Jesse was suckered by a girl into leaving the bronze. It turns out the girl was a vampire. Yes, vampires are real, they really suck your blood and kill you and if they do it in a specific way, they can turn you into a vampire, which means that you die and your body is then animated by a demon and walks around suckering your old friends in and trying to kill them. And then your body gets to close to a stake your friend has in his hands and somebody pushes your body onto that stake and the demon is killed and your body turns into dust with nothing you can bury and your friend just stands there holding the stake and not comprehending anything and your parents don't know what happened and it's up to your friend to tell them and he has no idea how to do that because everybody knows that vampires exist only in movies, but they don't, they are real and they walk around in Sunnydale and they bite and are evil and


Dear Mr. and Mrs. McNally

I'm sorry Jesse ran off. I really don't know why he would do that, and I am very sure it wasn't anything you did. The last time I saw him, he was with a girl I had never seen before and he left the Bronze with her. If it helps I could give her description to the police, if you want to.

I can only hope he will be back soon.

Best regards,
Alexander Harris