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now your heart is beating in my hand

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(Mattie exits, after having dropped all those lovely little landmines over the place. Silence descends. Well – for as long as it ever could around a conscious Laura.)

“Oh my god, we – in the –“ Laura shudders.

“Relax, cupcake. I changed the sheets. And that room has seen plenty more interesting things then we’ve gotten up to.”

“Oh, that is not helping. So not helping. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because then we wouldn’t have even gotten up to that much.”

Laura gives her a look, “Carm. Really?”

“Can I help it if I want you, cupcake?”

“I meant really, you think that would stop us?”

“You did react unfavorably.”

“Yeah, it was a bit of a shock. But. Well, I guess it’s flattering you think that much of my self control.”

“Are you saying you can’t resist me, cutie?” Carmilla asks, dropping onto the settee next to her.

Laura leans into her, smiling, “I’m saying I don’t want to.”

One landmine clear. Carmilla steals a victory kiss. When she pulls back, Laura looks serious again. So she’s irrestibule but not entirely distracting. Well, if she were trying, that’d be a different story.

 “I’m not going to spin the truth, that’s not-“

Mostly holding back her sigh, and entirely holding back her relief that they aren’t discussing the love part, Carmilla replies, “No, of course you aren’t.” She does sigh, “We’ll figure something out.”

“Laura, look, if you don’t let her in, she’s going to shut you down. Just – find a way to work with her. Or around her. Try not to piss her off too much…”

“I’m not very good at that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hey! You aren’t supposed to agree.” Laura pouts up at her.

“Weren’t we just discussing honesty?”

“Weren’t we also recently discussing your long, long romantic history?”

“You’re right. No more discussing.”

“Hang on – are you actually worried about that?”

“Er – “

“Were are you expecting me to be jealous?”

“I don’t know – I’m expecting it to be something you think we have to talk about, at least – It can be a lot and Mattie makes it sound way worse than it was, she –“

“Really wants me gone. Yeah, I got that.” She pauses, “You’re adorable when you aren’t sure what to say. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this look on you before.”

“Oh, hush.”

Laura snuggles closer into Carmilla’s side, tugging Carmilla’s arms around her, replies slowly, thoughtfully, “I’m not jealous. I’m – is it really a lot? Like, comparatively speaking. I mean, you’ve been around a long time. Lifetimes. And, you know, all that time, so many things changing around you, that had to change you too, right, logically, so, lifetimes. And it makes sense that – “ Laura turns the slightest tinge pink, “ – you would have multiple loves of your life. Lives. I mean, obviously.”

 “Obviously?” Carmilla echoes, smiling.

“And I mean – that doesn’t mean that any of them counted less or that I count any less – ” Laura turns bright red, “ – not that I’m saying that I fit into that category of – er – or anything, I mean, she said, but – never mind. But I don’t feel like I’m competing with your past, that’s my point. Or anyone in it. You – you have a longer romantic history than most, but – I mean, that’s to be expected, cause, vampire. That’s just part of the Carmilla package. And I want the whole package. Fangs and all.” Laura’s color has calmed back down a little bit, not much, but enough that Laura is managing to look her in the eye.

“I don’t know that I would consider most of them quite that highly, but. Thank you.” Carmilla just has to kiss her.

Laura relaxes then. She goes all soft but no less passionate.She is never any less passionate, it’s intoxicating. It has been centuries since Carmilla thought that soft and passionate were opposites, but. Laura makes the information new again. Laura makes a lot of things new again. The way she melts, now, when Carmilla kisses her, letting her weight rest on Carmilla. Makes her feel like Laura agrees that she’s hers. Intoxicating.

Carmilla pulls back slowly, just an inch or so, any more than that would be torture. “No interruptions,” she says, smiling.

“Don’t jinx it,” Laura replies, and kisses her again, considerably more forceful then the last. It’s driving her crazy. Each time they’re closer, and each time, she craves Laura more, and then – something happens. Usually something Ginger.

Which she isn’t even entirely sure is a bad thing. On the one hand, fuck, does she want to know what Laura – sounds like, tastes like, looks like when – being kept from that is nearly unbearable.

But on the other hand… she knows what Laura tastes like. Knows how warm she runs – knows exactly how she reacted when she sank her teeth into her – and at considerably less pleasant timing. How would she react now? And being kept from that, that might be a good thing. She is already tempted, and the thought of Laura, flush and bare and pulse racing, blood thrumming, makes her doubt even her own self control.

Kissing Laura is a lovely distraction, thankfully. Laura’s hands starting to slide under her robe are an even lovelier distraction.

Carmilla is quite surprised when Laura gasps, suddenly, and pulls back.

“Your –“ Laura says, and then Carmilla registers the change, the added sharpness to her teeth. Fuck, she thinks, she had managed to keep this from happening so far. She’d intended to continue keeping this from happening. “Shit, sorry.” Her instinct, then, is to back off, back away but Laura’s hands have moved to her hips, holding her close and still.

“It’s okay,” Laura says. “I was kind of wondering – I hadn’t seen them. And the feel – obviously has to be different than-“ she touches her neck “-but how much so… I was curious.”

“You, curious? Never.” The quip helps a bit with the adrenaline. With the feeling of the earth moving, out of her control.

Laura laughs, a touch less innocence in her smile, and slowly, while speaking, slides her hands down over Carmilla’s ass, “I was very curious.”

“Sorry about that, by the way,” Carmilla blurts. Fuck, what is wrong with her? She’s got Laura here, so very very close, and being seductive, and she’s dragging up old-

This is all her sister’s fault.

“Sorry for tackling me to your bed and –“ Laura is bright red again, and she looks like she can’t believe she just said that.

“I –“ Carmilla starts, and Laura interrupts her immediately, a little less sultry.

“Don’t apologize. Really. I – I didn’t really mind. I mean it was – new and yeah, it hurt a bit, but. Not entirely unpleasant. Not –“ Laura starts to fidget, and Carmilla can’t resist reaching out and pulling Laura into her lap.

“You could – do it again.” Laura says.

“Which part?” Carmilla asks, quiet, glad she doesn’t need to breathe.


“Are you asking me? Because, cupcake, if you’re giving me that sort of invitation, you need to be sure.“

“Both. Not asking. Both.” Laura meets her eyes, and she does look sure.

“No. No, you – “ She’s not sure why she’s protesting. Been there, done this. Plenty. But this, with Laura…

“Yes. Carm, I’m sure. Trust me. I know what I want. And I know what I can handle. You can. Invitation issued. I want you to. Both. And. I want you to – I want you to do so many things to –“

Carmilla kisses her, hard and long.

“– me.” Laura finishes, a good few minutes later.

Carmilla is already kissing her way down Laura’s jaw, pausing just long enough to whisper ‘your wish – you know’ in her ear, and then she continues, kissing down Laura’s neck. She can feel Laura shift, surprised, when Carmilla keeps going, past her pulse, until her mouth is pressed, just so, against the beginning curve of Laura’s breast.

“There?” Laura breathes.

Carmilla nuzzles the skin there as an answer, and then there’s sharpness. For more than a minute, it hurts, and Laura unintentionally and probably unknowingly digs her nails into Carmilla’s ass. Carmilla growls, a little, and then the sharpness recedes and it’s just her. Just Carmilla, sucking at her skin, her mouth moving in the most – incredible way.

“Oh, god,” Laura moans, her entire body curving into Carmilla, “Oh – Carm –“

And then it’s over, but not – Carmilla pulls back, looks at Laura, eyes so dark and lips so – red, and whispers, “I’m taking you to bed now.”

“God, please,” Laura replies, scrambling off Carmilla already and heading in that direction. Smirking, she adds, over her shoulder, “Lock the door.”