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In Theory

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Didn’t I tell you already to stop whining?

I just don’t understand why you want to torture me by taking me to Boston.

Isn’t that enough reason?

House! It’s a six-hour trip.

Seven with the rest stops.

Stop being so inanely cheerful about driving all the way up to Boston. Why are we going to Boston? Torturing me is one thing, but this isn’t good for you, either. Unless, there’s actually a reason we’re going to Boston.


Medical conference.

You hate medical conferences.

Cuddy threatened to chop off my balls. I would think you would do anything to keep my balls where they are.

You don’t believe me.

I would think Cuddy would do anything to keep you away from medical conferences. Try to preserve the hospital’s reputation.

According to her, I’m still worth something to the hospital.

In theory. In reality…

I’m a charming guy!

In theory.

My dick is bigger than yours.

See what I mean?

Stop ignoring my claim. My dick is bigger than yours.

It is not!

Oh, it definitely is.

Why are we going to Boston?

Because my dick is bigger than yours.

That’s not a reason to drive seven hours. And no, it’s not.

You’ll find out when we get there, then. And it so is.

In theory. I don’t think you’ll ever actually tell me. And it is not!

Of course it is. I’ve given both of us handjobs. Now, I’ve had to slide my hand along my own dick longer than along yours. I’m telling you, my dick is longer.

You’re distracting me. Why are we going to Boston?

I told you already: medical conference. You just don’t believe me.

Of course not. And your dick still isn’t bigger.

-- End.