Actions

Work Header

Unlike Father, Like Son

Chapter Text

“What are you guys doing?”  Tony asked as he walked into the living room.  The whole team, plus Coulson, was gathered there, a box of old junk spilled out on the floor in front of them.  Steve was sitting in the middle, sorting through things.

 

He looked up at Tony, an embarrassed grin on his face.  “Uh…well, Clint was poking around in the garage and found a box with a bunch of pictures and home-videos from when you were little and…” he raised a hand to rub the back of his neck nervously, “well, I guess we were just curious about what you were like as a little kid.”  An embarrassed blush spread across Steve’s face and Tony just grinned back at him.

 

He was so fucked.  Seriously.  Steve could get away with a lot of things as long as he smiled at Tony.  He knows he should feel violated or something for them being so intrusive, but he just didn’t care…not when Steve was looking at him with that bashful smile on his face.

 

“Oh, okay then,” Tony shrugged, plopping down onto the sofa next to Bruce.  His eyes scanned the contents, only able to recognize a photo album his Aunt Peggy had made.  Ah.  That would explain why there was a collection of things about his childhood.  God knows his parents never would have been the ones to document anything about it.

 

Aunt Peggy had liked to take pictures and his Uncle Henry always seemed to be following them around with a camera.  It taught Tony to ignore having his life recorded in a much less stressful manner than his parents just throwing him to the media-wolves.

 

“I’m not sure why you guys are interested though,” he stated. 

 

Clint hopped onto the floor next to Steve, chuckling at a few of the pictures he saw.  “How could we not be interested to see if you were born a stubborn bastard or if you just picked up these annoying qualities as you grew up?” 

 

Tony threw a pillow at him, but the bastard just dodged it.  Steve shot Clint a disappointed look but was too preoccupied sorting through the box to lecture him about being nice to others. 

 

Tony turned his gaze to Coulson and raised an eyebrow.  “And your interest in this little activity?”

 

Coulson just gave him a bland look.  “Blackmail material.”

 

Tony let out a snort, “of course.”  Scary part was, Fury’s right-hand man was probably being serious.

 

Clint laughed at a picture of Tony holding a science-fair trophy bigger than his entire body.  Thor let out a loud guffaw when Clint handed him the photo.  “Brother Tony, you were so tiny I could have held you in one hand!”

 

Tony rolled his eyes as Bruce snickered quietly next to him.  Yeah, he had been a little bit on the small side.  But he always made up for it in personality and awe-inspiring genius.  Yes, he could be humble when he wanted to be.

 

Natasha leaned over to look at the picture and her lips involuntarily quirked up at the corners.  “Any reason you couldn’t have stayed that adorable, Stark?”

 

Tony put on a hurt look, a hand dramatically thrown across his chest.  “You wound me, Natasha.  I am completely adorable right now.”  Natasha just raised a single eyebrow, saying she clearly did not agree with his assessment.

 

Turning his gaze away from the snickering trio, Tony watched Steve as he picked up one of the VHS and froze.  Completely.  Steve’s body went rigid as if he were frozen solid…okay maybe not the best comparison, considering Steve’s track record, but seriously, the guy was just so…still all of a sudden. 

 

“What’s up Cap?”  Tony asked, leaning forward to rest his arms across his knees.

 

Steve’s eyes snapped up and locked on Tony’s, a dozen different emotions flashing across his face.  Excitement. Sadness. Longing. Joy.  Too many emotions for Tony to keep track of.  He was bad enough at handling a single emotion at a time, let alone a dozen at a time.

 

“It’s addressed to me,” Steve said quietly, hope creeping into his voice.

 

“Huh?”  Clint poked his head over Steve’s shoulder to look at the video label.  “Wow, I guess it is.  Why would there be a video addressed to you in this box?”

 

Everyone turned to look at Tony who just shrugged his shoulders.  “I would guess that it’s because Peggy is the one who made all those videos and took all those pictures.”

 

“So it is her,” Steve whispered, his voice almost breathless.  “I thought I recognized the hand-writing but I didn’t want to just assume.”  He looked back up at Tony, searching his face. “You knew her?”

 

Tony nodded, a jerky little motion as he tried to reign in the emotions that always overwhelmed him when he thought of his Aunt Peggy.  She was the only one that was actually there for Tony when he was young.  And she had been torn away from him when he wasn’t ready to be alone, inflicting a wound on his heart worse than when his own parents had died. 

 

“Yeah, she raised me, sort of.  I mean, she was the one who…” Tony trailed off before his emotions managed to leak into his voice.  Keep it simple.  He resorted to a stiff nod.  “Yeah, I knew her.”

 

There was a moment of tense silence as Steve studied Tony and Tony carefully avoided his gaze.  He so could not handle looking into Steve’s large blue eyes; he’d be drowned in whatever emotions were there.

 

 Another moment, and then Clint stole the video from Steve’s hands and ran towards the TV.

 

“Clint!” Coulson was on his feet to stop Clint but a raised hand from Steve told him it was okay. 

 

Everyone settled in to watch as the screen flickered to life and a beautiful and mature Peggy Carter entered the frame.  Steve sucked in a sharp breath, his gaze intense as his eyes swept over her every feature.  Tony smiled sadly as her soft voice filled the room.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Unlike Father XxXxXxXxXxX Like Son XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

 

“Hello, Steve.  They keep telling me that I need to give up on this whole delusion that you aren’t gone.  And I just keep telling them that it is a load of bullocks to think that something so simple as a crash could stop you.  You’re stronger than that…and I just feel it.”  Peggy placed a hand over her heart.  “I’m not sure why you can’t come back right now, what’s stopping you, but I know you’re not gone.”

 

A charming smile crossed her face, small but warm.

 

“So I decided to make this video to catch you up on everything you missed, for when you do manage to get back.”

 

The next hour was filled with stories of the Howling Commandos and Peggy meeting her husband and her life changing when she had her first child.  Steve sat in rapt attention, his eyes never straying from Peggy’s face as she rambled on.  It was bittersweet, hearing about all the things he had missed, but he couldn’t deny that Peggy seemed happy and content.  And that was all Steve really cared about.

 

Peggy was in the middle of telling a story about her son’s graduation when the screen went black and cut to another scene.  It was a small Tony Stark.  Gosh, he was so small.  He couldn’t have been more than six years old and he was on a stage, receiving a second place certificate at some sort of robotics competition.  Sitting next to him was a bulky, two armed robot. 

 

It wasn’t as sophisticated as Tony’s projects now, obviously, but impressive for such a small child nonetheless.  Steve grinned as he saw evidence of Tony’s brilliance even at such a young age.

 

There was a huge grin on tiny-Tony’s face as he turned and waved happily to the camera.  Something off-screen must have captured his attention though because suddenly his grin dimmed, just a little, before he turned to watch the first-place contestant get their award. 

 

The camera cut again, this time lighting up on a smiling Peggy as she led her husband, who was holding the camera, down a hallway.

 

“Oh gosh, Henry.  Did you see his robot?  It was brilliant.  I know he’s been working so hard on it.  I just wish that his parents…” she stuttered to a halt as Howard Stark stepped out of a room at the end of the hallway, eyes on a file in his hands.

 

Howard looked different than Steve remembered him.  Not as…happy.

 

“Howard,” Peggy nodded hello.  “I thought you were on a business trip.”

 

Howard glanced up from the file, a frown on his face.  “I was.  If you’ll-”

 

Suddenly, the TV turned off.

 

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Unlike Father XxXxXxXxXxX Like Son XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

 

 

Okay, so maybe that hadn’t been the best plan of action cause now everyone was staring at him.  Tony hadn’t really even thought about it, his body reacting faster than his brain…a very rare thing for Tony Stark.  He just knew he had to stop it. 

 

He knew he probably didn’t look so great right now, his eyes darting around nervously and body strung tight.  He sucked in a deep breath, forcing himself to regain control.

 

“Right, well I think that is enough home-videos for now, don’t you all?”

 

“What...” Steve started but Tony rose to his feet cutting him off.  He clapped his hands together, trying to force an easy grin onto his face and probably failing horribly.

 

“Who’s up for some pizza?  Or Chinese?  Or how about some shawarma?  Anything is fine. But food, yes?  Food would be good right now.  I can’t be the only one who is starving.”  He was rambling.  He knew this.  But he couldn’t help it.  Words helped block out the memories chipping away at his shields.

 

“Tony…” Steve started again, his tone soft and concerned and fuck that almost brought Tony’s shields crumbling down.  His dark eyes were wild and desperate for just a moment.  He was allowed one moment of weakness, okay?

 

And then he was collecting himself, pulling the day-to-day armor he wore under his skin tight around the raw places that had been exposed.  Looking to Steve, he waited.

 

 “Yeah, pizza is fine,” Steve finished lamely. 

 

Tony nodded once and then was out of the living room.  Trying to outrun the memories nipping at his heels.

 

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Unlike Father XxXxXxXxXxX Like Son XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

 

 

The team watched as Tony left, Starkphone in hand, fingers flying over the keys as he called to place the order.  As soon as he was out of earshot, the rest of the team turned back to the TV, staring at its black screen and wondering what exactly it was hiding from them. 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

Silence hung in the air for about a minute before Clint broke it.

 

“Anyone know what the fuck just happened here?”

 

No one answered him so he hopped to his feet and went to grab the remote.  Bruce latched onto it before Clint could touch it. 

 

“Clint, we don’t have the right to look at it,” Bruce’s voice was soft but firm. 

 

“No, fuck that.  He’s our teammate, that makes it our right.  If something on a childhood video can affect him that much, still, then it’s something we should help him with.  We can’t just ignore this.”

 

“You don’t know what happened, we could be imagining…”

 

“Oh come on, you are not that naïve.  You of all people know Tony is good at keeping a lock-down on his emotions, almost as good as you in fact.  I’ve never seen him that shaken.  How could you suggest that we just sweep this under the rug?  I thought you were his friend.”

 

Bruce’s body shuddered under the strain of trying to keep his anger in check.  “I will ignore it if that’s what Tony wants.  You know how intensely private he is about things that actually mean something.  Pretty much his entire life has been documented by the media, so excuse me if I don’t want to drag another one of his secrets out into the open where everyone can judge him for it, okay?  Whatever it is, it’s his decision to tell us or not.  His choice, Clint, not yours.  I won’t let you violate his privacy just because you’re curious.”

 

Clint glared at Bruce, his hands curling into fists at his side.  “This isn’t about curiosity!  This is about helping a teammate.”

 

Bruce shot to his feet, getting in Clint’s face.  “Don’t act like you’re his friend, Clint, or that you actually care.  You pick on him all the time.  You-”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Unlike Father XxXxXxXxXxX Like Son XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

 

 

God, this was going to suck.  So much.  In fact, Tony wasn’t entirely sure why he was making his way back to the living room, at all.  He just figured that maybe it would be best to settle all of this now.  You know, like pulling off a band-aid.  It stung, sure, but the pain was quick. 

 

He was fully aware of the fact that everyone on his team was just too… good.  They were the kind of people that would chew on this, let it infect their minds until a thousand different nightmarish ideas plagued them. 

 

And okay, yeah, he knows that his childhood wasn’t…great.  But he survived it.  It wasn’t horrible enough to destroy him.  Fuck him up a little?  Sure.  But he never broke.  And if his team was going to be privy to some of the more sordid details of his not-so-pleasant childhood, then he wanted them…no, he needed them to understand that.  He wasn’t some broken thing to be pitied.

 

His reaction had been a result of shock, more than anything else.  He hadn’t been expecting to see video proof of that day; he hadn’t been aware that his Aunt Peggy and Uncle Henry had recorded it.  He remembered a lot about that day, not everything, but enough to know it wasn’t something he wanted commemorated in all its gory detail for everyone else to see.

 

As soon as he had realized just what exactly the video was showing, he had panicked.  His heart stopped for just a moment before adrenaline shot through his system, invoking his fight-or-flight response.  And man, had he flew.  Like a bat out of hell.

 

But…now he was going back…to his own personal hell.  Willing to try and face down his demons.  Because that’s just the kind of person he was.  When someone found a weakness of his, he stood up and dared them to fucking exploit it.  Liked to shove it right in their face and show them that yeah, they might know how to beat him down but they would never fucking break him.

 

He slowed as he approached the living room, hearing raised voices.  Clint’s he could easily distinguish, but he was shocked when he realized that the other voice was Bruce’s.  Mild-mannered, poised to the point of frustration, Bruce fucking Banner. 

 

“Don’t act like you’re his friend, Clint, or that you actually care.  You pick on him all the time.  You-”

 

“Bruce…” Tony called out, hating that his stupid past was already fucking things up with the team. 

 

Bruce whirled around, green flashing through his eyes for just a second.  He clenched his jaw tight and his body shook with the effort of reeling himself in.  Tony approached slowly, not scared, but giving Bruce a chance to calm down.

 

Tony placed a firm hand on Bruce’s shoulder, giving him a weary smile.  “Thanks, I appreciate you trying to protect me, but it isn’t necessary.”  He squeezed Bruce’s shoulder before turning to the rest of the team.  “I know my reaction probably made you think the worst but…”

 

“Tony,” Steve interrupted, his voice strained.  “You don’t have to tell us, if you don’t want to.”

 

“Yeah, Steve, I do.” 

 

God, he didn’t want to.  He had never wanted them to know, especially Steve, who had good memories of Howard, even though Tony sure as hell didn’t.  Tony would like to believe that at some point in his life, Howard had been a good guy.  And if Steve had met that good guy? Well, Tony didn’t want to ruin those memories for him, especially since memories were all Steve had when he awoke in a new age.  Tony might be an asshole, but he wasn’t that much of an asshole, thank you very much.

 

But now...well, now it seemed like Tony didn’t have much of a choice.

 

“I’m pretty sure you guys are already imagining something way worse than what actually happened,” Tony spoke, forcing his voice to remain void of emotion.  “I doubt you guys will take my word for it that I was just shocked to see video of that day. And I don’t want you guys to worry yourselves silly about this.  So, we are going to finish this, right here, right now.  Get it over with and then forget about it, okay?” 

 

Everyone gave him exasperated looks and Tony sighed.  “Yeah, I figured it wouldn’t be that simple, but just promise me something, okay?”  He slowly met each of his teammates eyes, before settling on Steve.  “I don’t want you to pity me.”

 

“Tony…”

 

“No, Steve.  I’m serious.  Promise me.”

 

Tony waited, eyes steady as he watched Steve.  There was a frown pulling down his mouth, his blue eyes darkened with concern.  Steve studied him back, his eyes trying to read the man behind the calm mask.  After a moment, he gave an imperceptible nod.  “I promise.” 

 

Tony swallowed the fear climbing back up his throat.  He wasn’t sure if he could trust Steve’s word in this, but it was good enough for now.  Turning to everyone else, he waited until he got nods from each of them.

 

“Right,” he huffed out as he jumped back onto the sofa.  Clapping his hands together in feigned nonchalance, he grinned brightly.  “Buckle in kiddies, we are in for a slightly bumpy ride.” 

 

Holding a hand out, he waited for Bruce to hand him the remote.  Bruce did so, reluctantly, and then settled down next to Tony, closer, as if he was trying to protect Tony through proximity alone. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Tony lifted the remote and turned on the TV.  His finger hesitating briefly, he closed his eyes and pressed play.

Chapter Text

“…just wish that his parents…” Peggy stuttered to a halt as Howard stepped out of a room at the end of the hallway, eyes on a file in his hands as he strode quickly towards them.

 

“Howard,” Peggy nodded.  “I thought you were on a business trip,” her voice was clipped, tension coloring the edges.

 

Howard glanced up from the file, a frown on his face.  “I was.  If you’ll excuse me, Margaret, but I really must be going.  I have important things to do.”

 

Peggy frowned, seemingly ready to snap something back but a hand appeared in the frame, waving her to a stop.  Instead, she gave another nod, terse and cold. 

 

The camera followed Howard’s retreating form before swinging back to Peggy.  She raised a hand to massage the bridge of her nose.  “I seriously want to throttle that man, some days…most days.”  When she looked back up to the camera, her eyes were filled with sadness.  “I don’t understand how he can just scorn his own child like this.  He’s so different from the bright young man I used to know…”

 

“Pegs,” Henry’s soft, deep voice spoke.  “We can’t make him be a good father…”

 

Peggy heaved a burdened sigh.  “I know, Henry, I know.”  Gathering herself up, she forced a smile onto her face.  “Let’s go see our brilliant boy.”

 

The camera followed after Peggy as she led the way to the room at the end of the hallway.  As the couple got closer to the room, the camera picked up the sound of crashes and sobbing yells coming from the other side of the door. 

 

Peggy shared a frightened look with her husband before rushing to the door and throwing it wide open.

 

“Tony?!” Her voice was high, concern and panic bleeding through.

 

When the camera captured sight of the room, a deep whoosh of breath left Henry.  “Oh god…” 

 

Tony was frantically pulling apart the robot he had spent countless hours building, his tiny hands scratching and clawing at it.  Blood ran down his hands from where sharp metal had cut into his soft skin.  His whole body shook with heart-breaking sobs as he screamed and yelled at his now-ruined creation.

 

“…stupid.!  You’re worthless! I can’t believe I wasted my time on you! I could have been doing something important!  But no, I wasted my time on something as useless as you!  A hugging robot?!  That’s pathetic and childish.  You don’t do anything right. I want something of value, something worthy of the name Stark!  Not…”

 

Peggy rushed over to where Tony was tearing apart his robot.  She tried pulling him close but he just thrashed wildly in her arms and continued yelling hysteric exclamations at the sad heap of metal. 

 

“Tony…Tony, dear, look at me.  Tony…” Peggy’s wide, teary eyes looked back at her husband.  “Henry, help me,” her voice shook. 

 

The camera immediately dropped to the ground, still recording.  All that could be seen was a paint-chipped wall as it clattered to the ground…but every word, every scream, every sob could still be heard.

 

“Tony, darling, shh, baby boy calm down.  I got you.  Please sweetheart, come back to me…”

 

Tony’s distressing yells eventually calmed to choked sobs, his breathing ragged. 

 

“Shh…shhh…it’s okay, it’s okay darling.  We’ve got you.  Shh…”

 

A minute of slowly waning cries and soft-spoken comforts.

 

“Auntie Peggy?”  Tony’s small voice whimpered. 

 

“Yes, darling?” Peggy whispered back. 

 

Tony sniffled, his voice soft and insecure when he spoke.  “Why does my dad hate me so much?”

 

Peggy’s breath caught, her voice filled with tears as she answered.  “Oh, Tony dear, he doesn’t hate you…I know he…Tony, look at me, sweetheart.”

 

A moment of silence and then a sharp intake of breath.

 

“Tony, your cheek,” Peggy choked out.  “Tony…did he…did your father hit you?”

 

Another beat of tense silence and then, “I’m going to kill that man,” Henry growled and Tony let out a small whimper. 

 

“No Tony, shhh…Uncle Henry isn’t mad at you.  Shhh, you’re safe now.  You’re safe,” Peggy’s voice shook as she tried to reassure the small boy. 

 

“I’m sorry, Tony.  Buddy, I didn’t mean to frighten you.  It’s your father I’m mad at.  What your father did…that’s not okay Tony.  You know that, right?  He isn’t allowed to do that.”

 

“But he said…” a choked-back cry, “he said that I was a horrible son for wasting his time.  I’m not good enough, Uncle Henry.” Another small snuffle.  “Why can’t I be good enough?”

 

“Oh Tony…” 

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Unlike Father XxXxXxXxXxX Like Son XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

 

Tony kept his head cradled in his hands as he listened to his younger self, his eyes clenched shut, as if trying to block it out.  It wasn't helping.

 

And yeah, this had been a mistake, a huge fucking mistake. Why had he decided to play the rest of the tape? Maybe he was crazy; he must have lost his mind if he considered this a good idea, for even a second. Because really, this was a terrible fucking idea.

 

He honestly didn’t remember it being that bad.  No, seriously.  He knew it wasn’t going to be nice, but he didn’t remember completely losing it like that. 

 

And now it was too late.  He couldn’t go back and erase this from his teammates’ memories. Tony knew they weren’t going to believe him when he said it wasn’t as bad as it sounded.  And fuck, it sounded horrible.  

 

He couldn’t believe his teammates were listening to him in such a vulnerable state.  All his masks and defenses gone, because it wasn’t until after that particular day that a young Tony had learned what a necessity shields were. 

 

The Iron Man suit was not the first armor Tony Stark had ever built to keep him safe, not by a long shot.

 

Howard had taught him one thing in his life: distance equaled safety.  If he was going to survive, he needed there to be space between him and everyone else. Your emotions couldn’t be trampled all over if you didn’t invest them too deeply.

 

And this stupid, five-minute little glimpse into his past was erasing all those barriers he had put up.  Letting his team know him more intimately than he was comfortable with. 

 

Sure, he trusted them with his life, but he didn’t quite trust them with his emotions.  Wounds to the heart were so much more painful than wounds to the body.

 

“Why can’t I be good enough?” He heard his younger self ask. 

 

A wave of dark humor washed over him, cause yeah, he had never gotten an answer to that particular question.  In fact, it was a question he still thought of on a weekly basis.

 

He listened as his Uncle Henry tried to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, it was his father.  Really, Howard Stark was just the man who helped create him, because he certainly did not deserve the title of father. 

 

Tony heard the sounds cut off, the tape running out of recording capacity.  The silence in the room was stifling.

 

He absolutely refused to raise his head and look at his teammates. He was just going to hide beneath his arms for another minute…or two...or forever.  Until he managed to collect himself, at least.  He had to be strong for what was coming next. 

 

He knew he was a good liar but he was going to have to be really fucking convincing if he wanted them to believe he was okay.  That he was alright.  It was going to be hard to make them believe that Howard hadn’t completely fucked him up when he was younger...  

 

...a fact Tony couldn’t even convince himself of some days.

 

Chapter Text

Breathe in.  Hold it.  Release.  Repeat.  He could do this.  Yeah, he could totally do this. 

 

Another deep breath and then Tony raises his head and finds everyone just staring at him.  And he really can’t even attempt to comprehend the wide array of emotions on all their faces.  He’s not even sure what kind of emotion is on his own face.  But yeah, there is just a lot of emotion.

 

“Um…it really wasn’t that bad…” Tony says.  Stupidly.  Hopefully.  Willing them to just let this go, because fuck he seriously does not want to talk about this. 

 

Before anyone can say anything else, a deep growl comes from beside Tony.  And yeah, sitting next to Bruce on a sofa when he is having control issues might not be the best situation Tony could find himself in. But to be honest, Tony is all kinds of relieved.  Because now, at least, no one is staring at him. 

 

Thank fucking god for silver linings.

 

Tony doesn’t have to face the looks anymore.  Nope, everyone is a little bit too preoccupied with the shuddering form of Dr. Bruce Banner as he futilely tries to calm himself down. 

 

Tony thinks that maybe he should take advantage of the situation and make his escape.  You know, just until he can stuff all these freaking emotions back down into the little black box deep inside his heart. 

 

He tries to inch away, slowly, but as soon as he shifts, a hand shoots out and latches onto his arm.  And yeah, that hurts.  You know, just a little. Tony knows Bruce would never hurt him on purpose- and Bruce is going to have one major guilt trip about this when it’s over- but Tony guesses that maybe he had tested Bruce’s control a little bit too much by dumping all this fucking crap about his childhood onto him…. and Steve…and everyone else.  So it’s Tony’s fault, really, that his arm is being bruised by the strong grip preventing his escape.

 

“Don’t…” Bruce growls out.  Or was it the Hulk?  Cause that was one deep and seriously pissed off growl.  And Tony just goes still.

 

Waves of green roll across Bruce’s skin and his fingers clench tighter around Tony’s arm and Tony just grits his teeth.  He sees Steve jump to his feet, worry and concern and panic drawing his body tight.  Tony just shakes his head and shifts closer to Bruce.  Because yeah, he was so not going to let them do anything to Bruce when this was all Tony’s fault to begin with.

 

“Bruce,” he says softly, calmly.  “I’m okay.  I’m right here and I’m okay.”

 

Bruce turns to stare at Tony.  Tony sees the deep anger in his dark eyes, a manifestation of the worry and anxiety overwhelming him.  Tony reaches over and lays a hand over Bruce’s chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat.

 

“Come on buddy, deep breaths.  You’re in control.  You’re fine.  I’m fine, Bruce.  No reason to freak out on me, yeah?  Please do not insult me by thinking I gave him enough power to break me.  I’m not that weak, you know that.  I’m fine…” Tony rambles on. 

 

Words pour from his lips as he waits for Bruce to battle the roaring beast back into its cage.  He feels Bruce’s chest heave under the strain, his breathing heavy and ragged.  Tony isn’t sure how long they sit there, Tony’s hand resting against Bruce’s chest and Bruce grasping onto Tony just so he has some proof that Tony is really there. 

 

Eventually, Tony feels Bruce’s heart calm; his heartbeat slows and steadies.  The tight grip on his arm slowly loosens and then drops away. Tony rubs the sore spot and looks down.  Yep, that is going to be one nifty bruise by tomorrow- or later tonight.

 

“Good job, buddy.  Man, you had me going there for a second,” Tony grins, bright and easy, cause he loves it when Bruce proves just how strong he is- not the Hulk. Nope, that strength, that control… yeah, that is all Bruce Banner. 

 

Tony’s grin falters when he looks up at Bruce’s face, which just looks…shattered.  Tony didn’t even think it was possible to feel that much.  And oh, right.  Yeah, he might have forgotten what triggered this little freak out, for a moment, but now it is all rushing back and Tony just wishes it had stayed forgotten.

 

“Tony…” Steve starts and yeah, fuck that.  Seriously.  They had promised him- promised him- that they weren’t going to fucking pity him for this.

 

Launching to his feet, he gets right up in Steve’s face.  “Don’t.  Don’t you dare fucking Tony me, okay?  You don’t get to say my name like that.  Like I’m fragile.  Like I’m weak.” 

 

He’s being mean, misplaced anger and all that, he knows, but Steve just looks at him sadly and it makes him angrier.

 

“Stop looking at me like that!” Turning around wildly, his eyes scan the rest of the team who are all just staring at him again.  “All of you.  Stop looking at me like I’m some broken thing!  I’m not.  I’m not broken.  He didn’t break me.”

 

He’s quite sure his hysterical ranting isn’t really the best way to go about convincing his team of this, but he just doesn’t know what else to do.  He doesn’t know how to handle this.  

 

Throw a feral, raging Hulk at him and Tony won’t even blink as he attempts to bring his friend back from over the edge of the abyss.  But throw genuine emotions at him and Tony really just wants to run away screaming. 

 

And right now?   Yeah, his teammates are flinging emotions at him left and right and he feels ensnared by them, trapped; he wants to escape but he can’t.

 

It takes him a minute to realize that the reason his vision has gone blurry is because there are tears forming in his eyes.  He swipes at them angrily, grits his teeth against the frustrated scream building in his throat.  And they all just continue to stare.

 

And he hates them in that moment. 

 

A surge of black hate bubbles up in his chest when he realizes that he might have never given Howard the power to break him…but his teammates?  This strange group of people…this family he had somehow managed to find after so many years of searching? …yeah, he had given them that power. 

 

He had unconsciously given them the power to watch him shatter and break because, at the end of the day, he trusts them to put him back together again.

 

And he hates them for it.  Hates that they managed to gain this power over him without even trying, without him even knowing.  All he wants is to lash out and hurt them and tear them apart and make them just as broken as he is.

 

But then… he’s being drawn into a pair of strong, warm, and comforting arms.  And that bubble of hot, angry hate just bursts, leaving Tony shaking and falling to pieces in Steve’s arms.  He sags against a heavily muscled chest and just lets Steve hold him.  Trusts Steve to hold the broken pieces of his being together.

 

He might be shattering into a thousand little shards right in front of them but he trusts them to put him back together again.  And all Tony can do is hope that they are up for the challenge. 

 

And he doesn’t even know how or why or when it happened but he realizes something in that moment…

 

This place- in the presence of his team, his family- this place, right here, is the only place that Tony will ever feel safe enough to admit that okay, yeah, he is broken. 

 

 But not beyond repair.

 

 

THE END