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Wilds Of My Heart

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Wilds of my Heart

by Solo & Jo

"Just a bit to the left, Akanishi-kun! Yes, that's great. Perfect."

Jin tilts his hips, feeling the leather move and through it the heat of the spotlights. He likes the outfit, likes the bouncy music the photographer has going, likes that he still knows what to do with a pair of leather pants when he wants to and the mood is right. He's having a good day. Akanishi-kun is rocking this photoshoot.

When he's on break, he goes to flip through the water bottles with their names on them while Ueda gets on and isn't half bad with the leather pants himself.

There, that's his bottle, all in order, just like he never left. Not that he's worried or anything, not like people tend to ignore him. He just likes knowing everything's nicely back to normal.

Well, almost.

Kamenashi's sitting at the side, fumbling in some eyedrops because it's better if he looks like he occasionally sleeps. He shoots Jin a smile, because all is well. Jin smiles back, because who's he to disagree with that?

Then the make-up assistant starts fussing over him and he has to hold still because she's got a hot curler, and next Kamenashi is picking up his water too and all is so well that he even stops and waits until the make-up chick is gone.

"Those were some nice takes," he says.

"Thanks," Jin says. "I like the outfit. Looks good on you too."

"I think the alternative was bunnies."

Jin laughs, and does a hip-ful pose that probably doesn't even qualify in the neighborhood of 'mammal'. "More difficult," he finds. "Though you'd have liked the challenge."

Kamenashi's eyes skim along his side, and Jin gets to be acutely aware of his lack of bunny padding and of the tight leather pants over his ass before there's Mr Blank Professional and a set of skinny Kamenashi shoulders, all tense and drawn back.

"Maybe," is the answer. Full on with smile and everything. Because all's so well. "Did you tell them what you want for lunch?"

Great, now Kamenashi's doing that thing where he's primarily talking to Jin's left eyebrow for fear of being inappropriate and shit.

"Fried baby turtle," Jin says. "But they told me I had to pick between chicken and salmon bento like everyone else."

Kamenashi laughs on cue and waves at Jin with the bottle before he turns to do something to his hair in front of the mirror, or just maybe stare at his own state-of-the-art eyebrows.

Over by the photo spot, Yuuichi has traded places with Ueda in front of the silver-grey sheet that is their only backdrop. No props, nothing.

Kamenashi's not bad in those pants, either. He looks healthier all around. And he got to button his shirt higher than Jin, which is unfair… and now Jin's done it again— thought too much about the fuck-me pants and the windswept shirts and started to feel silly, as if he had glitter and feathers hanging off him.

It's that other thing that happens, when he catches a wrong look and it turns him into an idiot in a costume. They must have sweaters lying around in case someone gets cold...

Kamenashi gives him a sideways smile as if to reassure himself, and Jin can give him a tight awkward smile back and it'll be the right eyebrow and a depressed photographer and just what they needed.

And Jin thinks, fuck it. He was hot five minutes ago, and they were fine some other time ago, and this was bullshit back when it first started.

He leans against the make-up table, and pointedly doesn't care that he's half in Kamenashi's space. "You want to do couples with me?"

Kamenashi all but freezes. "I think that's up to the photographer."

"We can make suggestions," Jin says. He shakes his hips – the leather is tight in all the right places, really. "We can melt his lens."

Kamenashi ponders that, but underneath his thoughts are quick. It got bad sometimes, but not so bad Jin would ever not see when Kamenashi is getting cautious. "Koki should put that in a rap," he says, blushing a bit when Jin laughs.

"The way Koki's lyrics are going, having him rap about us could get real interesting."

Now Kamenashi's flush flares hot. "Oh god, no. He wouldn't dare," he says quickly, like Jin needs reassuring. Of course Koki wouldn't dare. Kamenashi would kill him with his bare hands before Jin even had a chance to get to him with a baseball bat.

He shrugs. "Nobody understands his raps anyway. So..." He motions with his head towards the silver-grey drape. "It's a date?"

Kamenashi gives him a last dubious look, but then he nods. "Sure, okay. Let's melt some lenses."

No photographer is going to turn it down. They have a date. Jin feels pleased.

*~*~*

They nearly give the photographer an orgasm. Jin briefly wonders if he's gay, to be so into this, but then he stops wondering because he's got work.

And they go for it, really dial it up, and Jin is in that soaring space where the camera loves him and he clicks with somebody. They're almost like before, their arms on each other, hips just shy of touching. Kamenashi that old pro knows what he's doing with the camera and his slutty looks, and Jin doesn't concede an inch.

They haven't been this close in ages.

And it's because they're so close that he notices when Kamenashi loses it. Loses the flow, the grace, the way he occupies space, all at once. Pulls in on himself and smiles more brightly while he tries to look like they touch without touching at all.

It throws Jin, too, and there's a bunch of frames he just knows will come out like Kamenashi is a smiling robot and Jin a sleepwalking zombie, only hot and with leather pants. Then he catches sweat and something else and spots what's actually going on inside those leather pants and puts it together and oh for fuck's sake.

Inconvenient, sure. Awkward, you bet. But they've been at this since they were kids and Jin's seen hard-ons over ice cream and Super Mario, and mostly he's just fucking annoyed.

He hooks four fingers into Kamenashi's belt and gives him a tug, leaning in close enough for hard-ons to really not matter. "Stop fretting," he says. "I don't care. Can we get back to business here?"

The camera is clicking. If it catches the glare Kamenashi throws at him, that'll be an intriguing picture.

*~*~*

Jin made out with a guy in the States. Just once, and he never told anyone, not even Pi. It was mostly weird and made him insecure like someone was watching, and laughing at him for three days after. He feels a bit like a jerk that he stopped e-mailing with Carlo, even though Carlo was great and put him up for the night and knows fucking more about Kame than anyone now, even Pi.

*~*~*

They wrap up and get reminded to be on time for Duet in one hour, and are left to change and put on some deodorant. Jin could leave it at that. They took great pictures, that's the job, and now they'll have a different job.

But it keeps bugging him while he has a quick celebratory cigarette, and it bugs him again when he finds Kame in the changing room. Ueda's the only one of the others still packing up his shit, and it smells like a room where five guys unpeeled from tight leather pants after two hours under spotlights.

Kame's glance only skims him. Jin puts his hands where the pockets would be on these pants and leans against the wall close to Kame. "Hey," he says.

"Hi," Kame says. "You should hurry up a little." He's friendly, though, not efficient leader. Friendly chit-chat between colleagues, please don't catch a cold. It fucking sucks.

Jin looks across the room and sees Ueda roll his eyes. "Yay, that shit again," he mutters, which makes Jin flush, but okay, Ueda's almost done, and then he's out, so, whatever.

"Sorry," Kame says, to his shoelaces.

"Yeah, well, that's why... Look." He sighs, sounding like Ueda to himself, though he's not mad at Kame. "It's not a big deal, okay? I'm not freaking out. You shouldn't freak out either. We work better when we're both not freaking out." It's fun, he wants to say. Fun like they used to have.

Kamenashi looks like he hasn't driven past a fun zone in the last year.

"Hey. Can you stop looking at your shoes?"

Okay, awesome, progress, Kamenashi obliges. And he looks more tired and beaten than Jin has seen him in a long time, not since you could cut bread with his cheekbones.

"Are you fucking with me?"

What? Fucking— what? "How?"

"Oh, I don't know, telling— Talking about it. Saying how okay you are."

Jin swallows, the dryness of a hundred spotlights in his mouth. "I'm not... no."

Kame stares at him a little harder, but then his head sinks down again. "Okay. Just checking. Sorry."

Jin watches him for a moment, his light fluffed-up hair with the roots just starting to show. His shoulders, drawn in under the dorky Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt. He's re-doing his shoelaces slowly and looking like someone who shouldn't be in sexy photoshoots at all.

"I'm not fucking with you. I was just trying to make it easier."

That earns him a little laugh. It sounds defeated. "Newsflash, Jin. Rubbing yourself all over me doesn't make it easier."

Well, that's hardly fair. "You rub yourself over everybody in sight, even the juniors. Even the senpai! You can't really—"

"Jin."

Just that, and Jin has to face him, and Kame is shaking his head and he looks like he feels really sorry for Jin because having only half a brain is an awful disability, but he's also grateful because when one is in the throes of terrible gay angst, the band idiot is welcome entertainment.

"Yeah, okay," Jin says sheepishly, because he'd be an ass to pretend he doesn't know what Kame means.

"I'm sorry it's not the same," Kame says, standing and shrugging into his jacket. "I can't help it. I'm working on it. I mean, by now... anyway, sorry." He's zipping up the jacket and frowning and being all brave and it's the saddest, most annoying thing Jin has ever seen.

"You don't have to apologize," he says impatiently, because if that at least could sink in, if Kame could understand that he's not like he was back then, maybe they'd get somewhere. "I'm not... I'm not upset or anything, it doesn't bother me."

"Well, that's grand of you." Kame grabs his stupid glittery Prada bag like it's a bear he wants to wrestle. Then he's at the door and gets his best level stare on. "But it bothers me. It's bad for work and it's bad for me. So I'd be grateful if we could avoid incidents like this one, no matter how 'okay' you are these days."

"No," Jin blurts out, way too loud.

Kame closes the door, but leaves his hand on the knob like he's ready to run. "What the hell is that supposed to mean."

"It means..." What the hell does it mean? That he doesn't want this, that's what it means. "I miss you," he says.

When Kame turns around he looks like someone much younger. Kame was often more afraid when he was younger. "What's that supposed to mean."

"I don't want it to be bad for you." That, above anything. "I shouldn't have done that. Then."

Kame's shoulders rise very slowly. "You couldn't help it either."

"No, I could have," Jin says; knows for the first time just how right he is, how stupid he was. "I wish I'd done that differently."

Kame's eyes sharpen. "Yeah, a little politeness could have gone a long—"

"No, I could have come across more open-minded—"

"You weren't, you made that very clear."

"I— yeah, that was the problem, that's what I thought, but actually I—"

"You were just pretending and you were hot for me all along?" His voice cuts like razors, cuts off all Jin's words.

Oh what the fuck. "I kissed a guy in the States." Wow. Jin's breathless, and Kamenashi doesn't interrupt the silence for a whole fifteen seconds or however the fuck much. "Didn't work. But I tried. Half an hour at least."

Kame drops his sparkly bag on the floor and himself on the nearest chair. "That... that is so..."

"And then I got drunk and depressed and told him about you for like all fucking night." And just how stupid can you be, how much musical chairs, how many people can you fuck around how many ways. His throat is tight when he says, "I wish I'd done that differently too."

Kame is watching him with the most cagey attention. "Not kissed that guy?"

"Done it with you instead."

The silence holds on that. For a moment it's not Kame's eyes that have got him frozen, it's his own head, yes, that, and you stupid stupid idiot, half a friendship and too much fucked-up time slotting into place.

"Now what is that supposed to mean," Kame asks quietly.

Suddenly Jin is sweating, never mind the pants, the stuffy room. This is wrong, and not what the plan was even if he never had a plan but this is not going right, this is slipping away from him. "Please can you say something that's not that?"

Kame quirks an eyebrow at him. "Allow me my hard-won lack of naivety. Can you blame me for finding all this a little bizarre?"

"No," Jin admits, shifting uneasily. "Just..." Here he is, saying stuff he never thought he'd say, and still it's not enough? What more can he even say? "Why do you have to make everything so hard?"

"Me? What am I making hard? I don't even know what you want here. I don't think you know—"

"I want to kiss you. Okay? And maybe... make out with you."

"Jin, even leaving aside..." Kame shakes his head as if words, all the words in the world, fail him. "You can't just will yourself to be into guys."

"No, but if I'm thinking about it, then I should get a chance to try with the right guy, right?" Nobody can argue with that. Even Kame looks like he just said something that sticks, and Jin perks up. "So do I get to try?"

But what Kame says is, "You're fucking kidding me." Sharp and tight. "You decide you want to try dick between take number four and lunch and I'm just supposed to volunteer for your little experiment?"

It almost shames him into silence, but he had a thing going here and Kame is derailing them from the issue, which isn't really that Jin didn't run this past the proper phrasing filter and more that... well. Kissing, and dicks and stuff.

"Okay," he says. "But you never actually asked. You never said anything. It's not just my fault it got such a mess."

"You would have run for the hills, Jin. You ran for the hills."

"Okay," Jin says stubbornly. "But I'm not running now."

For a moment Kame looks like he's about to throw something else in his face, but then he gets on the Kamenashi calm, and Jin thinks fuck, but what Kame says is, "So what do you want?"

"To go home with you."

Kame thinks thoughts, with a disgusted expression on his face. Jin says nothing, barely dares breathe. Kame wipes his hand over his eyes.

"I'm out of my mind."

"Yeah?" Jin tries to stop the smile spreading over his face.

Kame gives him a look of deep loathing but just grabs his bag, doesn't say no. "First we've got work. And knock off the funny stuff."

He leaves Jin to change because Jin's clearly not allowed to take off with those pants, much as he might like to. Ueda and Koki look murderous when Jin finally makes it to the minibus that'll take them to the rest of the shoots. Jin pretends he doesn't notice, pretends not to stare too obviously at Kame, who looks cool like iced latte but then Kame's got degrees in pretending so that's really not something Jin has to measure himself against.

They haven't had a screaming argument in ages. On top of everything else, it makes Jin happily nostalgic.

*~*~*

The upshot of half the band holding a grudge over Jin's little delay earlier is that everyone clears out fast as fuck at the agency and nobody tries to talk them into drinks.

Only Kame moves slowly, pretending to be looking for his keys, then pretending to adjust his hat, twice.

"Did you come by car?" he asks when the band room is empty, very just-gathering-intel-or-maybe-making-small-talk.

"Yeah," Jin says. "You?"

"Yeah, me too."

Logistics. Kame looks a little too pale and a little too focused, and so Jin does what he's meant to do here, which is not think too fucking much. "I can follow you," he says. "I think that's best."

Kame is twitchy, it shows in the lip-licking and that he only meets Jin's eyes in passing, so Jin sticks his hands in his pockets – jeans now, yay – and puts on a look that says, we had this settled, compadre. He hopes.

Kame gives him a loaded look. "Yes. Cool. So ring when you've found parking." And he waits like... like parking might be hard.

But Jin can park. Kame can be Mr Flat Stare about it if he wants, as long as he doesn't go stupid on him.

"Sounds good," he says. "So let's go."

So they go. Well, drive.

Jin turns the music off in his car because... he's not sure why. But tailing Kame and his considerate driving, which is more considerate than ever, he can't even get impatient; and then his hands are sweating.

It's weird. Maybe it's just that he no longer has to keep herding them in the right direction; watch Kame for signs of bailing. Maybe it's that he's driving to a guy's place to make out with a guy.

Or more. They're not in middle school, you don't go home with a guy who's got his own place and experience and a long-term boner for you to make out and eat cookies.

He laughs, then slams the brakes because the light is red. Whoops. He even thinks he catches a mad glance from Kame's rear view mirror.

Kame makes good cookies.

Cookies, cock. Cook. Kame is a good cook. That's silly. And off they are again.

*~*~*

Okay, turns out parking isn't as easy as he thought. The area around the Kamenashi lair has become busier in the last three years, and he ends up in a paid parking lot a five-minute walk away. Maybe more, but he walks fast.

"You made it," Kame says when he lets Jin in, as if he survived a wilderness of bears.

"Honey I'm home?" Jin tries, and Kame rolls his eyes.

"Sorry I haven't..." He gestures around at... the air? "I didn't tidy up, I didn't expect to have company."

Jin blinks, a lot. "That's a joke, right?"

"Sorry," Kame shrugs. "Just saying. Can I offer you anything?"

"I..." Jin would love a drink. He's practically never loved a drink more. "How does this work in your scene? If I want a beer, is that like 'oh horror guy can't cope' or is it 'hey guy wants a beer after a long day at work'? Cause I can adjust."

Kame turns away. "You're an ass."

But Jin can hear the smile in his voice, and he's heading for the refrigerator, so he gains confidence from that.

"Don't knock my ass..." He loses courage halfway through, though. Cookies.

Kame solemnly hands him a very cold can of beer. "You're a danger to yourself, Akanishi, you know that?"

"Wasn't that part of my charm?" Okay, so he's cool here; cool opening the can like a cool dude and not made nervous by Kame's piercing gaze.

"Your charm's overrated," Kame says, taking an equally cool sip, and that's just…

Jin blinks, sticks it out for a queasy moment, and when he still doesn't know what to do with that he says, "Really?"

"What?" Kame blinks back at him, then shakes himself like he swallowed something sour. "Oh for fuck's sake, I'm bullshitting you, you think you're the only one who's allowed?" And he knocks back, like, half his can. In one go.

Nervous. Sucky jokes. Okay. Jin lets it go, happy to stop thinking about how much Kame finds him charming or not. And Kame is fingering his beer can twitchily, looking guarded like before, and maybe this is enough of standing around and being weird, maybe they can remember they had a conversation and were all mature already.

So he steps into Kame's space and puts their mouths together.

A little. Briefly. Because Kame is a bit frozen and a bit not breathing.

"That…" He's also making a spooked kind of face. "That was…"

"Hey, at least I tried, okay?" More than Kame himself fucking dared, that's what it was.

"That was so like my mom," Kame suddenly grins. That little shit.

Jin punches him. It nearly splashes both their beers.

But maybe Kame is more into kisses from his mom than he should be, because he doesn't even say anything about spills on his floor or Jin being a klutz. Instead he takes the beers away and says, "Okay. Come on."

For a flash of a second Jin thinks bed and… things people do in beds, because what does he know, oh fuck, but then Kame sits down on the couch and pats the upholstery, and, okay.

So then they sit there. It's the usual awkward angle when you're sitting next to each other and Kame is not looking all that smug anymore. He seems to be considering Jin's legs, or his jeans, and Jin shimmies a bit closer, which at least doesn't get him mocked.

But Kame doesn't do anything.

"Is this how it's done?" Jin says. "Not that I want to put, like, pressure on you but with girls I eventually get to feel them up. But we can wait until the third date, maybe we can hold hands then?"

"You're a dick," Kame says, full of pissy affection.

"I thought you were into that. Really, this is messing with my preconceptions of the whole gay experience in a big way."

See, he's totally on top of this, cooler than a cool dude and certainly cooler than that dude over there, in spite of all the gay experience still to come.

"I don't want to freak you out," Kame admits.

"I'm not that easily freaked," Jin declares. "So, try me."

Kame takes another moment to think that over, and Jin actually thinks for a moment about photoshoots and how to look inviting, but then something seems to click.

"Okay, come here then," Kame says, putting a hand on Jin's neck.

So, okay, that is at least constructive.

Kame tastes like beer, and that's normal because Jin's kissed girls on beer before and he's had their hands in his hair, and if Kame is a bit gruff around the edges that's nothing to freak out about either.

A few kisses in Kame tilts his head back and blinks at him but Jin says, "still not freaking," and this time it sticks.

They work, the kisses, slow and turning kind of sweet. Jin thinks that this is Kame every so often but he doesn't think it's freaking because freaking doesn't feel like butterflies.

Kame kisses like he drives, needs to be coaxed to try a bit of a lick, and then it's a couch, where you never know what to do with your hands anyway. Jin puts one on Kame's leg to pull them a bit together, and Kame gives a gasp that Jin can feel on his lips.

"I could move… up," Jin suggests after a while, pointing his chin vaguely along the length of the couch. "I mean… might be nicer."

For a moment Kame stares at Jin's face and his legs and where they're pressing together like this is a complicated puzzle. How does this guy ever get laid, really?

"Yes, cool," he finally says, and Jin twists about as graceful as a flapping salmon and gets his legs up and his head on a soft leather arm rest and then Kame is half kneeling over him and half trying not to fall off the couch, and very much holding himself… away.

"You know, the point wasn't that we stop now," Jin educates him because he doesn't want to lie here like some rejected offering of curdled milk.

"No, okay," Kame says, a little dazed, his mouth coming down again, and it's that sweet, working thing again, and yeah, this is Kame.

It never got like that the other time. He didn't get excited that Carlo's t-shirt rode up a bit, he didn't want to get his fingers on that strip of skin but with Kame he wants and he does it, his hands slip under and are right there and it tingles and Jin is getting sweaty here.

Kame's touching him, his hair, his face, as much as he can, his kisses getting mushier, and Jin makes some sort of sound and is maybe pulling a little, and that's when Kame gives a hitched breath and sits back; not even waiting, exactly, with his face blotched and his tell-tale kissing mouth and all his stupid, reasonable, Kame worries.

Because down there he's still all away and appropriate like Jin doesn't know…

Okay. Jin knows; Kame knows. Eyebrows.

Jin takes a breath, and puts his hand right there. Right there. Even through the jeans it feels… big and hot and serious and Jin is nervous, okay, he can admit that, but for just a moment Kame blinks his eyes shut and it's this amazing, powerful thing, that Jin can do this.

He presses a bit, and Kame stills again. "I kinda knew that was there," he says; breathes, really, because he's touching Kame's hard dick here and he's liking it.

And then he almost gets his hand squished because Kame sinks down on him and goes for the full deal, open mouth and tongue and pushing against him so his leg slips off the side, and it's funny how it all turns into Kame being really fucking strong.

And Jin under him. This, this is newer than dicks. But it feels okay, it feels damn fine, and he's not going to freak himself out of a good deal, he'll just work on getting the initiative back to where his comfort level is comfortable, thank you, and he pushes upward with his hips, lets his fingers dig under Kame's waistband, and mumbles something into Kame's mouth which probably means give it to me you little shit but it's just as well Kame is too busy to ask.

It's kind of hot. In the room. Around them. Kame's skin is hot, and Jin's face is hot, and their kisses are hot, and the way Kame is treating Jin like his favourite cuddle toy, that's hot, too.

"We could maybe," he says when they come up for air for a moment, "take our shirts off?"

"I don't know, wouldn't that be slutty?" Kame grins, but he tugs at Jin's t-shirt anyway.

"When we kept it so clean up till now," Jin says. He helps obediently when Kame drags the t-shirt up and over, shakes his head to clear his eyes.

Kame is looking at him as his fuzzy hair falls back into place. Like he's not looked at Jin in a long time.

"You've seen me naked before," Jin says thickly.

"I..."

"Anyway, what about fairness?" he pushes on, and great, Kame's big on fairness.

Also big on efficiency, taking off his own shirt with moves that make Jin follow the lean muscles on his stomach and his hip bones twisting as he dumps it over the back of the couch.

Weird, to wonder suddenly what Kame likes. If he likes making out for hours, if his nipples are sensitive, if he's noisy…

"I should..." Kame seems as uncomfortable under the scrutiny as Jin was. Interesting. "I don't know, we've been shooting all day. I should maybe shower?"

Jin snatches his wrist almost by instinct. No disappearing. And then he lets himself fall back again and drags Kame with him, skin to skin this time, and with his hands around Kame's neck and his nose buried there he can breathe the scent of a guy who's spent a day at work, who uses girly soap and tons of hairspray and drinks beer, a guy he knows.

Kame gives a little grunt. "Are you sniffing me?"

Jin laughs.

"You straight boys are pervs," Kame says, and kisses him, and Kame's hand is on his chest and going down his naked side and it's giving him goosebumps, the good kind, and he just wants to squirm into it and why are Kame's hands so small anyway?

He makes room when the hand wants slide around to the small of his back, lets Kame get a good hold, and then they're pressed close together again and making the most of it, and Kame is biting his neck in a way that should be tickly but is electric instead.

And he can touch Kame, any way he likes, as far as that's possible the way they're glued together. Drive his fingers into his hair, stroke his nape, tweak his earshell, suck at his shoulder. It's fun and somehow more, and it's hot, and Kame likes it and will push and pant and grope his ass and his sides and yeah, let him do that, and Jin's ears are burning, and his dick has definitely joined the party. Feels good, he can live with that. Why ask questions. Feels very good.

But Kame has noticed and Kame has stopped doing that delicious vampire thing and is unsticking them so he can look at Jin, like he's waiting to see how Jin will respond. To his own dick, and something about this is just bizarre.

But okay, they haven't negotiated this part, Jin wasn't sure that would happen and Kame seemed to think he'd be halfway to China by now. Maybe he thinks that if anybody's going to have a gay crisis, the moment he gets a stiffie while making out with a dude would be it.

Maybe it should be. Just, well.

"You're not running away," Kame says cautiously, and Jin nods. Patently, he's still here.

And Kame very pointedly looks right there, and like the annoying little traitor it is, Jin feels it twitch.

"Still not running," he manages through the awful blush and the noise in his ears.

Kame licks his lips, slowly, and puts out his hand. Slowly. Puts it there. Jin thinks he'll have a heart attack. Or come, or something.

"Now?" Kame asks.

"Nope," Jin croaks.

And Kame undoes the button, and whoa, that… wait, that wasn't…

"Now?"

Or was it?

Kame's stopped right there. Jin can decide that this is just a step too gay for him.

Oh what the hell. "No," he says. "If I give you something in writing, can we do it without the step-by-step?"

Wow, he never realized how tense Kame was until it all flowed out of him. The hand on his dick is suddenly twice as heavy, and when Kame asks, "This is okay, yeah?" it's not really about the squeeze, but more, a lot more, like maybe sliding zippers and touching skin right there, and… more.

"This is okay." That comes out wobbly, so Jin feels like he has to elaborate. "I like it. It feels good."

Kame's hand is still there, heavy, and suddenly there's a grin on Kame's face too. "I can make it even better."

Jin swallows. "Hey, don't let me stop you. Us."

Thankfully, Kame knows what he means, comes down on him again, wraps him up again with the heat and the beer and shampoo and the kisses until it's no longer awkward and about making rules, just about how to touch as much as possible without falling off the couch.

Turns out that's a lot. He feels Kame's strength even in the squirming, his legs and the hand on Jin's chest, and it's great. Kame teases Jin's nipples, makes him yelp, he's that sensitized now and there's heat and cold air, and Kame moving down and the friction is off his dick and it's not fair and then it comes back, and he's got his thumbs on Kame's neck and massaging little circles into Kame's sweaty skin and Kame likes that, also a lot, and Jin wonders if he's purring.

But eventually Kame looks up, his eyes hot. "Okay," he says on a breath, waits.

Jin nods.

Kame glances around, shifts down along Jin's body and drops a knee on the floor, nudging Jin's foot aside. His fingers are tickling a trail down Jin's belly. Jin's shivering and nothing's even happening yet.

Then it does, Kame gets the zipper, slips nimble fingers into boxers and frees him and Jin gasps, it's almost too much; he wants to close his eyes but he can't because that's Kame, with Jin's dick in his hand, and it may be one of the most exciting things he's ever seen.

From the look in his face Kame might think so too. When he licks his lips, Jin almost chokes.

It’s a long, compressed second, of staring and waiting and knowing…

The first time Kame licks him Jin presses his head into the armrest so hard it hurts. Oh fuck, oh… He knows blowjobs, loves them, and he knows what comes when Kame goes all the way down but oh god this is for real. Kame is sucking his dick and Jin is like some helpless fucking virgin nearly levitating off the couch, it's so much and so hot and he almost can't fucking take it.

Then it's gone. What?

"You're allowed to breathe," Kame says. He's grinning, past... where he's holding Jin's cock. "Or, you know. Move."

Oh. He realizes he froze. Fear of flying. Fear of embarrassing himself. And then Kame's tongue goes... slowly... right over... Kame is letting him watch.

Jin's hips twitch, everything pulsing, needing, and Kame laughs a little.

"Ha ha," Jin manages, and for a stupid moment he feels naked and a bit far on out a ledge, but then there's a huff of breath and Kame takes him inside again, and there's wet heat and all tight, deep, and Kame doing things, awesome things, sucking and coaxing until Jin gets caught in it. This, the rhythm, his hips jerking and falling and Kame's head down there and the heat all around his cock. It's amazing, and he's moving and making noises and Kame just seems happy with them all.

He reaches down, wants Kame's shoulder or maybe touch his hair but there's Kame's damp, sticky hand and he holds on to that, and each slide seems more, and higher, and shakier.

It curls up from his toes, a hot prickle that spreads everywhere and the center is right there in Kame's mouth and still Kame is doing things, with his throat and his tongue and it's too much, it's— he bucks and he whimpers and he comes, can't stop thrusting even then, can't stop... can't stop anything. Can't breathe.

Or maybe, there, that's breathing. That loud thing. Oh god he's twitching, from everything, the soft warmth and the bruising grip and Kame's weight on his legs.

Eventually Kame lets him go. Jin's fuzzy with the shudders but he thinks he feels Kame nuzzling around, before he props up his chin somewhere above Jin's hip. "Hi," he says.

Looking down at him like that, Jin feels a flush creeping in after the aftershocks. In the grand history of blowjobs everywhere, this didn't last particularly long. "Hi."

Kame's smile digs into a soft spot above the bone.

There's a pause.

"You okay?" Kame says.

No, Jin's brain-dead from having his dick sucked like there's prizes for it and he should not be made to talk. "What kind of dumbass question is that?" he demands, breathing deeper when Kame squeezes back on his hand. "Are you?"

When Kame laughs, it tickles. But there's something there, something weird and maybe like relief, and this sucks, Jin's not alert enough, he'll only stumble and make a mess of Kame's mess of issues.

He jerks his hip up and pulls at Kame's hand. "Come up," he says. "I'm getting cold."

"You and your cold," Kame mutters, but he doesn't exactly resist, the way he comes to lie on top of Jin with no centimeter wasted, all but smothering himself with his face in Jin's neck.

He smells sweaty and a bit horny, and probably doesn't need Jin's hug as badly given that Kame is like a fucking radiator all the time, but it feels good anyway.

Kame is breathing warm behind his ear. The couch is crowded, but crowded is right for this. Like Kame is absorbing the last of Jin's shivers, and he can start holding on to his jumbled thoughts. It's peaceful.

He really likes the muscles in Kame's back, and when he strokes them, the fine changes in Kame's breathing. He doesn't know if he should say something about how amazing that was; what the etiquette is.

"So you're still not freaking," Kame says behind his ear, muffled and deceptively light.

"Weeeeell," Jin says, tickling Kame with a trail of his fingernails. He's feeling braver as his brain cells regroup and wave little flags of not being dead after all. "I had that moment when I really wasn't sure when you were licking the underside of..." Okay, the troop's chickening out. But he's made his point anyway.

Kame is giggling, probably at him. He doesn't really mind, it feels nice against his skin. "I'm just asking."

Jin gives it a moment's thought, the stuff that Kame keeps wondering about and how new it all is. Then he says, "You talk too much. We talk too much."

"I heard communication's important."

And there's a tiny edge to that, too, and what the fuck, Jin's psyching himself up to... to... well, never mind, and the guy who... that guy is derailing them. So Jin wraps one arm really tightly around him and tries to get some leverage with his feet and pushes— and fuck, Kame is no girl, and not as maneuverable as his skinny ass looks. "Sorry," Jin says when there is just maybe some elbow-to-stomach contact but at least Kame is squirming in the right direction and not fighting the general trajectory. Which is getting Jin on top.

Which, okay. "Hi," Jin says. It's a lot less sexy after all that clumsiness. They didn't fall off though.

Kame is grinning up at him.

"Your couch sucks," Jin declares.

"Poor couch," Kame says, without any bite. But he seems watchful and... right.

"I think it's your turn," Jin says. He moves his hips against Kame, for emphasis, even if this pointedly it feels a little awkward.

Kame exhales in a slow shudder. Well, that would be a yes, sensible guy, and down there is relevant poking going on too and that's good, that's nicely reassuring that Jin doesn't have to start from scratch.

Yeah, that. Oh god.

So he squirms down a bit, trying to pull off the magic balance trick that Kame did and but possibly failing, until suddenly Kame's hands are on his shoulders, stopping him.

"Are you sure?" Kame says. "You don't have to."

Jin peers up. "Did you think this was going to be a one-way street?"

"No, but... We could do... I could..."

"Yeah. Or I could suck your dick," Jin says. It prickles at the back of his neck. "I didn't think you'd mind, exactly."

Kame is biting his lip, and the prickle gets worse. Jin is very sure they're not going to do some half-assed virgin deal here but he doesn't think he wants to fucking argue about it, either.

Kame's no longer arguing. So, good. So, now... Jin gets into those pants of his, and if Kame is watching him he does not want to know, and right, there are Kame's black Prada underpants and underneath is Kame's cock, and that little sound Kame makes is Jin wrapping his hand around it.

He's got his hand around Kame's cock.

And that's just meant to be a start. A... token of good things to come, wet things involving Jin's mouth and...

Kame's cock likes his hand. A lot.

He slides it up and down once, and Kame's cock likes that even more. He always knew Kame gets bigger than you'd think, he's seen him half-hard in changing rooms. But Kame really, really likes Jin's hand, much more than he likes changing rooms.

He slides it up and down again and tries to imagine his mouth there.

Kame is touching his shoulders, not pushing, more... petting him. And breathing funny, and Jin squirms down a bit more but god this couch still sucks.

"Move up?" he says, nudging Kame while his hand keeps moving and he keeps looking there, where there's some wetness now.

"Just... keep doing that," Kame says. "That'll be... that'll be perfect."

"What," Jin says, looking up at last, and Kame's eyes throw him with how dark they are. "What the fuck." His ears are hot; he sounds like that when he's embarrassed. "Stop making me argue about— okay, wait." And he drops off the couch, pushing Kame's legs along with him as much as he can. "Now move up, and shut up."

Kame squirms as instructed, Jin between his legs, and Jin has a wobbly moment about that, that he's on his knees because he's going to suck Kame's cock. But on the other hand they're clear now, this isn't the position for some gentle fondling and respect for Jin's straightness. Right.

Kame's chest is rising; he's leaning back but the tension is everywhere, in his stomach and his legs and his stare. Jin could do without that stare, could do without the lights. But Kame swallows, and Jin wets his lips. Leans forward and puts them there.

Just touching; soft, soft skin, smooth and warm. Hears Kame breathe, ragged and quiet like he's trying not to, like he's afraid to scare him away. The weight against his lips gets heavier and he takes it in a bit more, tightens his mouth as he slides it along. Not far, not yet, but when his lips curl around the head Kame's dick jumps in his mouth and there's a pulse right on Jin's tongue.

Kame's fist is clenched on the upholstery beside him.

There's taste too, under the softness. Different, just a bit strange. Stickiness on his lips when he gets ready to go down again.

This time Kame gasps.

And that spurs him on to try more, go deeper, ignore the weird parts. He figures out how to breathe and how to keep his teeth out of the way, and he thinks of the first time he licked a girl. Also different. But finding his way and needing to get used to it, that's almost the same, that didn't come from nothing either.

He tries to suck for real, and he can see Kame's fingers when he pulls up, clenching and unclenching. Maybe he should tell Kame it's okay to move too. But maybe— maybe for now control isn't a bad thing entirely because Kame's still getting bigger, harder. It's kind of exciting that he can feel that.

So okay, that works, he's doing something right here, and he can do it a bit faster, and get steady, and try to take more because that's what Kame would do, show Kame he's fine here and he can build it up a bit. The taste is stronger too but he doesn't mind, just tries to suck against the spit and that, and it's cool and then suddenly it's not, it hits him back in his mouth and he chokes and his stomach rises and shit, this isn't— He slips off, coughing, gasping for breath. "Sorry," he manages, sweat all over him. Shit.

Kame's gone still, and he's touching Jin, his hair, all soft. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he gulps. Just waiting for his throat to get over it. "Sorry." Please, no discussion now, and he focuses on Kame's hard-on, which at least didn't disappear. That didn't exactly sound sexy.

"No problem," Kame says. But he doesn't lift his hands out of Jin's hair, not until Jin takes a long, cough-free breath, eyes on the prize with renewed purpose.

Yeah. Jin can be clever about this.

He wraps his hand around the bottom, mindful of Kame's balls. Know your limits, right? He's not winning cocksucking competitions here, but that's not the point, the point is to make this work between them and to get Kame off.

Kame's cock is very happy to jump back between his lips again, feels right at home there on his tongue. Jin swirls it around, tries to make it exciting, but he doesn't really know what he's doing and in the end he just settles for steady sucking, steady up and down.

"God, yeah," Kame says when he speeds it up just a little bit, and Jin didn't think there was more room for growth but he was wrong, and he shifts a bit, this is kind of hard work. But they're getting places, Kame's breathing is getting louder and he's forgetting to hold still sometimes and it's not a problem, Jin's still got his insurance hand right there, and he keeps sucking and dipping for all he's worth.

His jaw is getting kind of sore. Funny how blow jobs never feel that long while they're happening to you.

At least it's good for Kame; going by the sounds and the hand clutching his shoulder that sometimes flails into his hair and quickly flails away again, it's getting better, Jin's getting better at doing the right thing, and he'd love to see Kame's face but he's got a mission and the mission is down here where it's hot and musty and smells of Kame in ways he never knew. And funny how that's like a bonus he thinks he'd appreciate if he didn't have to worry about accidentally biting because his jaw is starting to fucking hurt.

Funny how he'd like a guy to come in his mouth right now because the up and down has officially gone on too long.

He wonders if speeding up more will help or just break the rhythm; wishes Kame would direct him but maybe he doesn't because this is just perfect, who knows; keeps going. And then it comes and he can feel it, Kame's cock tightening on his tongue, and it spills, and Kame whimpers, his hands stroking Jin's hair, Jin's cheeks.

A whole lot intense, that stuff in his mouth and first it gets him in a sensitive spot, but then he breathes through it, swallows it out of the way, and then he's just got the taste, and Kame's ragged breathing in his ears and Kame's hands still touching him and that feels nice, so nice.

He did it.

He lets his forehead drop against Kame's hip, feels his smile brush against Kame's thigh. He's kind of a mess, spit everywhere and sweaty, and his skin buzzing even if his dick is still mostly sated and out of business. Kame is brushing his hair back.

Kame's dick, already a much less intimidating size, is right next to his face. Jin puffs some air at it.

"Hey," Kame says. Jin laughs a little.

"Come up here, I'm cold," Kame says, pulling.

"You're an oven," Jin says. "And a liar." His legs feel wobbly when he unfolds them from under him, but Kame stretches back out on the couch and doesn't let go of Jin until he's back up there, falling on top of him, and then he pats his shoulders and gives him some time to breathe.

Oven is right, even Jin's forehead is sweating, pressed against Kame's shoulder, and he thinks he should have wiped his chin. He moves his jaw unobtrusively, can't decide if his lips are numb or too sensitive.

Kame surprises him by laughing. Caught; damn.

Jin tries to hide but Kame is actually turning his face up, touching his lips. He's smiling. "Sorry," he says. "It can be tough going."

Okay, probably sensitive. Because this makes him embarrassed but it's also prickling and good and... "Just takes some getting used to," he says, enduring his flush because that's true. "It's fine."

"It was good," Kame says softly, and kisses Jin. "I really liked it."

Fucking stupid butterflies. They should be outlawed. Deported. Expatriated, whatever. "Cool," Jin says, because he doesn't really know what else to say. Doesn't quite know what to think either, except that he kind of liked it too, and that it makes him smile that Kame was happy with it when he's probably had lots from guys who don't need to take a breather halfway through. Then he decides he doesn't want to think about lots of guys, not while he's lying here in Kame's arms, and maybe he needs another kiss.

Kame's right there, holding Jin steady with his hands in Jin's hair, obliging. Smart guy. Jin doesn't just let anyone's dick in his mouth.

"I'm glad you liked it," he says, because if he can do that, he can say this.

Kame is combing through his hair, like the way it curls behind Jin's ears is some fascinating thing. "So… still not freaking out?"

What the— Jin pushes himself up. "No. Can you stop it with that now, please? I just sucked your cock for you. I'm letting you pet my hair. What part of this says I'm about to run out the door and scream sex abuse?"

Kame stares at him, a frown fighting with a smile. "Okay," he says. "I'm sorry. Just, I get nervous."

"Yeah, join the club," Jin says, and plonks his head back down and flails around for Kame's hand to put it back in his hair.

That works. Keeps Kame from being stupid for five minutes and Jin from having to hit him.

"Sorry, I should have offered you a drink," Kame says after a while. "Do you want more beer?"

Yeah. Jin's mouth is dry and the aftertaste is different. "Beer sounds good," he says, but he doesn't move. That's the problem. To get beer he has to let go.

They stick it out for another five minutes or so. Another two kisses or three. Kame likes kissing. Deep. Jin's okay with that.

But then Kame gets up and tucks his dick back in properly and gets beer, and Jin tidies himself up too. "Thanks," he says when he takes the can, and god yes, cold, and wet, and maybe a bit more delicious than come after all.

He stops after four gulps and examines the can; looks at Kame, facing him from the other end of the couch, disguising his grin with his own beer.

"If I finish this, I can't drive myself home," Jin says. "You know." He shrugs.

"So stay," Kame says. "Keep me warm."

Jin squirms his foot along the couch to nudge Kame's shin. It's a pretty lame kick. "Think you're funny?"

"I'm hilarious," Kame says, looking far too pleased with himself.

"I guess that means... no couch for me?" He's not even sure why he's wondering.

Kame's eyebrows rise a little. "Okay, you win. You're more hilarious."

"Hey, you know," Jin says. "Beginner. Don't know the etiquette." Just because this might have been kind of a big deal for him if he really stops to think about it which by the way he doesn't, he knows what guys get up to or at least he knows in theory and how's he supposed to know if this rates bed rights or someth—

"Oh god," Kame says and then he's sort of on Jin, only not because Jin has beer in his hand and that would be unfortunate. "Don't freak on me now. Let's just go to bed, okay? It's a big bed. We're big boys. We can just hang and I'll even give you more beer, and it'll be nice."

Jin snorts, at himself, at... stuff, and then it's a stupid giggle and he doesn't even know why his brain is doing that. "You're a very big boy."

Kame blinks at him, before the colour shoots into his face. Then he shakes his head and grabs Jin's arm. "Okay, you come to bed. You need rest. Clearly."

Jin also needs something to wear for the night, so Kame finds him a pair of boxers and a black t-shirt with a tiny logo. He wonders, just for a moment, if he should go into the bathroom to change, if that would be— yeah. Welcome to his stupid brain.

He watches Kame slip into a fresh t-shirt and boxers with a funny flutter in his stomach, and knows just what an idiot he is. Not like he hasn't done this before; you hang out and make chit-chat and stupid comments about someone's apartment, and this can't be that different. You certainly don't ask people about what it all means before they've even had a chance to see if you snore.

So, Jin's not clueless. He'll be cool.

He doesn't snore, actually.

And it's not like Kame doesn't know that, just like Jin knows what there is to know about Kame's apartment and his job and boy, small talk is hard when you haven't just picked each other up at a club three hours earlier.

He gets comfortable leaning against the headrest, his chin on the rim of the beer can. "So, do you come here often?"

Kame gives him a look. "Only when the classier dudes turn me down. What's your name, by the way?"

Jin curls a strand of hair around his finger. "Rihanna."

Kame nearly chokes on his beer, which Jin finds oddly reassuring. He breathes a bit easier while Kame calms down and eyes him with a twitchy grin.

"You're very pretty," he says.

He was cool, Jin reminds himself while his face gets hot. He lowers his eyes and plays shy, which, hey, not hard, and then he remembers Rihanna was about their work tomorrow, they're actually colleagues. Who do shit together. "You know I'll kick your ass at the darts," he says, and when Kame says, "Dream on, sucker," that's much more natural. They even get into a pissing contest over who writes the better questions for the guests.

This is what he's missed. It's like time travel. Kame who laughs at his lame jokes and doesn't need to talk to his left eyebrow.

"I think I want to be pirates again," Jin says.

"What?"

"Pirates," Jin decides. "We're not too cool for it. We're going to be awesome pirates."

Kame props himself up, and Jin wants to giggle when he can practically watch Kame switch on his proper brain. "In concerts?"

"Yes, in concerts. Keep up, dumbass. Can't have idiots on my crew." Idiots whose hips are showing because their t-shirts are all rumpled. Not that Jin would notice. "We should get amazing ships."

"It's not your crew, you jerk. You'd keep sleeping in and we'd miss the bounty."

"It's not an office, you idiot, you don't have to be there at nine."

"Early pirate, catches the princess," Kame says. He's grinning like a loon. "Prince."

"Anyway," Jin says. "Let's do that."

Half an hour later they have a list of ideas that fills a sheet of paper. Lists, Kame is good with that shit, and Jin is good with...

"Cannon," Jin says, balancing his beer can on his knee. He looks at Kame's knees and thinks they didn't even undress all that much, and then thinks that's a weird thought. "Real cannon this time."

"You're likelier to get the parrot," Kame judges. The parrot was banished to the 'stuff Jin wants but can't have' column of the sheet.

"Nah, you're right about the poop, but we don't need real cannonballs. Just the bang."

"Bang," Kame writes dutifully, "not ball."

"Though balls can also be fun," Jin says, just to see if Kame will reward his relaxed gay metaphoring with a grin.

"I know that," Kame says. "How do you know that?"

"I have some?" Jin can play dumb, too. And there's the grin at last, and boy, they had sex and they are still having stupid fights and Jin kind of likes that.

They had sex. Like, together.

It's after one when they figure it's probably time to sleep, because eventually people who had sex together and are cool about it also go to sleep.

Jin's still a little nervous when he's by himself in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and looking at shaving stuff and Kame's make-up and thinking that this is Kame, and he's going to spend the night. Nervous enough that he ends up accidentally washing his hands with Kame's five-thousand-yen-a-bottle acne gel. Oops.

Kame has killed the main lights and is back on the bed, just the fuzzy glow from the bedside lamps and the blankets pulled down. Waiting for Jin.

They get under the blankets at the same time, each on his side.

"Okay?" Kame asks, reaching for the light. He's smiling.

"Yeah," Jin says. The light stays on. "Do you kiss good night?"

Kame's smile fades like the one on that disappearing cat. But the rest of him is still there, and close; getting closer. "When I'm invited," he says, and then he tastes of mint and cold water.

It's not like before, not burning through Jin, just careful and really, really deliberate. And all for him.

Their noses are touching, and Kame brushes over his hair. When they sink apart, his smile is back.

"Good night," Jin says.

*~*~*

"Jin."

He hates that gentle, insistent, breakfast-ready school-is-waiting shoulder-shake.

"Go away," he sniffles, feeling drool on his mouth and rubbing it against the sheets.

"Jin. It's time to wake up."

It's Kame's voice.

Because he's in Kame's bed.

Funny what that does to peacefully sleeping guy. Jin rolls on his back, his heart three turns ahead of him. "Morning," he says.

"Morning." Kame is still in t-shirt and underpants, and at least not looking in a terrible hurry. He sits back on the bed, leaning against the headboard with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Slept well?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yes," Kame says.

Okay, good. Great, to have all the important stuff settled.

Jin sits up. At the foot of the bed he can see pens and papers from last night, not even tidied away in typical Kame fashion. Pirates. Balls.

Dicks.

He licks his lips, consciously remembers Kame's cock, right there. Sucking. That was okay. And the rest, that was more than okay.

"You been awake long?"

"Not really," Kame says lightly. "Just long enough to get this." He raises the coffee to his lips again, and sips by way of demonstration, and Jin nods and all is well, and the tension is hanging between them, and it'll be Jin's fault just as much if it's the left eyebrow next.

"Can you put that down for a moment?"

Kame squints him a puzzled look but he lowers the cup, and Jin leans in, slow enough to let the guy dodge or get ready as the case may be, and wow, when he arrives Kame is still there and his coffee-flavoured lips have opened for Jin.

Nice.

Kame kisses him back, touches his face, and Jin's so glad he got his act together. Then his mouth changes under Jin's, and he pulls back, showing a small grin.

"What?" Jin asks.

"You have morning breath."

Well, it's the morning, Jin thinks, but blushes anyway. "Crap," he says, and slumps a bit against Kame's side, where he can breathe his gross breath only on Kame's shoulder.

"Wait." Kame's shoulder wobbles as he angles for the nightstand, and wow, there is a second coffee! Ready with milk and everything!

"You're nice," Jin says, taking the coffee with relief.

"Selfish," Kame says, and waits while Jin has a sip and another, before taking the mug away from him, and pulling Jin in by the neck for more of that, and deeper of that.

He's more awake and more dizzy at the same time when Kame is done with him.

He's also got a bit of a boner.

Probably poetic justice if he ends up just as bad as Kame, getting turned on all over the place. He giggles and shuffles back down on the mattress, an arm flung across Kame's legs.

"We're not really in any hurry," Kame confesses. "I woke you up early."

Jin peers up at him with all the accusation he deserves.

"Okay, I take it back. You're not nice."

"I thought so," Kame laughs. "Well. I wanted some time. To see where we're at." He looks down at Jin with much more reserve, and Jin feels all sorts of other awakeness trickling in.

"Yeah," he says intelligently. "We should see."

"I mean, now you've tried it," Kame says. "You got your experiment…"

This is stupid. He's not supposed to be freaking out. But for about thirty seconds it doesn't matter that he knows Kame would play it safe, is playing it safe. "Yes," he snaps, "and let me formally thank you for your selfless assistance in facilitating that experiment." Wow, all the big words, so easily.

Kame stares at him, first like he's a rival batter, then like he's a sad little duckling. "Dumbass," he says.

Jin shrugs. "Yeah, okay. Just, usually when I blow a guy and I don't like it, I don't pounce on him with good morning kisses the next day, so you could maybe get that into your head and meet me halfway here. A third of the way. Something."

He curls in a little, his forehead touching Kame's side. It's comforting even though they just did that thing again they do. Maybe that thing is just part of life for them.

"Usually, huh?" Kame says.

"I could try to be less promiscuous in future," Jin mumbles. "If you wanted."

Above him, Kame sighs, and then his hand is in Jin's hair. "I'd want that."

"And you like me," Jin says, for the record. "You like me."

"I like you a little bit."

"You didn't just want to get your dick in my mouth."

Kame is playing with his hair, which is nice, he's much better at that than at talking, because he's dumb. "Well, I wanted to get your dick in my mouth, too..."

"Fuck off," Jin says and tightens his arm over Kame's thighs.

"What do you want, Jin?"

Pirates; sometimes they jump off the boat. Sometimes they smell like this, like Kame. And pet his hair. "Stuff," he says. "Stuff with you."

"That's definitive."

"I want to go home with you again," he says. "And I want that you don't avoid me anymore. I want to be pirates with you and I want to get better at giving you blow jobs."

Jin can do definitive. He can lie here with his face pressed into Kame's hip and Kame's hand on him and let it all come together in his head, in a way it never did before.

"I want us to have a chance," he says. "Like we should have had. Or like we had, and I just— anyway. I want that."

It's quiet, a silent buzz that spins around them, until Kame says, "Okay." It's a weird voice, for Kame. Like he'd drink down half a can of beer if it weren't morning.

"Does that mean you want that too?" Jin asks, though this flutter is a good one, it's— "Hey, ow!"

Kame is pinching his ear. "Yes, I want that too. God, do you need everything in writing?"

"Hey, sometimes it's useful to—" He twists determinedly but then Kame lets go, and Jin drops back on the mattress. "Communicate clearly."

"What are you doing tonight after work?" Kame is staring down at Jin, and it makes Jin giggle to see him try to be stern and organised when he's blushing.

"Nothing," Jin says at once. "Yet. No plans so far." It's good to be clear, isn't it?

"Well, do you want to come back here? You could just leave your car, ride in with me, I'll make you dinner later."

A date. And Kame is still blushing, and Jin feels like his grin could take up the whole of Kame's apartment or maybe the building. "Food first, huh?" he says. "I'm getting an upgrade?"

Kame snorts, and his hot red face is cute and beautiful and ridiculous. "You book ahead, you get better service," he says, lifting his coffee mug. "You barge in at short notice, it's beverages only and a skeleton staff."

"Sorry," Jin says, "but your skeleton staff was poking at me through those pants—"

Kame squeezes his eyes shut and thumps his head against the wall. "I fucked a twelve-year-old. It'll be in Tokyo Sports. I'm ruined."

"—and you were communing with my left eyebrow and I..." He pokes Kame's thigh. "Hey, stop hiding."

Kame obediently looks down at him. He's grinning.

"I think this is better," Jin says. He can feel he's blushing too, now. He scowls through it, daring Kame to disagree.

But Kame is doing no such thing. Kame's grin melts into a smile and he pokes Jin back and then his hand stays on Jin's chest, two fingers hooked into the neckline of Jin's t-shirt.

"Yes," he says. "It is."

~

End