"So, you bring the donuts?" asked Weevil, shifting noisily in the front seat.
"Donuts. It's a stakeout, right? There should be donuts, coffee, lengthy discussion of past cases and/or our torrid sex lives."
"You've been watching too many episodes of Law & Order."
"It's a rare occasion that I'm on this side of law or order, V. So no snacks?"
"There's nothing here, unless you were so kind as to provide something."
"Nah. You just get me. Though some people might say that's enough."
Veronica tossed him a glare, too quick to be truly effective. Weevil was admittedly not her first choice for stakeout partner. Ideally, her first choice for backup would've been, well, Backup. But beggars couldn't be choosers. And sassy teen detectives couldn't go to stakeouts in front of disreputable nightclubs to take incriminating photos without a little muscle. Backup would go for the jugular, sure, but Weevil would help her hide the body.
Oh, what a lucky girl that Veronica Mars was.
"So this is what you do with your spare time, V? Sit in cars and watch rich white losers make bad decisions?"
"'Rich white losers making bad decisions,'" she echoed thoughtfully. "I like it. You've hit the nail on the head as far as Neptune society goes."
"It could be the new town motto," said Weevil. "Slap it on a billboard, and let it never be said I don't give back to my community." He shrugged. "Hey, isn't that the guy?"
Weevil squinted out of the windshield while Veronica squinted through the shutter. Yep, that was the guy. The pathetically typical flashy lawyer, still in his work clothes, stumbling out of the Seven Veils with a hooker latched to his arm and his wedding ring glinting under a streetlight. Same old story, same old song and dance. Veronica would've railed against the utter cliché of it all, if the utter cliché didn't pay the rent. So instead, she zoomed in and started snapping shots.
"Not now, Weevil. C'mon, big shot," she coaxed her subject, "turn your head just a little bit..."
"Yes, now. We've got company."
Veronica lowered her camera just in time to see an unrecognizable suit ambling towards their car with decided purpose.
"Incoming," breathed Weevil, as it became apparent this was not the wayward wandering of your average drunk.
"Damn," Veronica muttered irritably. There was nothing worse than getting caught, nothing to make her feel more like an amateur. She slid the camera down between the seats and prayed she got the shots she needed. She fumbled to turn the keys in the ignition, but Weevil's shiny scalp suddenly came into view.
"Go along with it now, kill me later," Weevil dictated with an eerie sort of calm, and then his mouth was on hers. There was that moment of 'wait, what?', followed by the moment of 'you have got to be kidding me', at last coming to a stop with 'oh, right' as she realized his plan. Admittedly a conclusion she should have reached sooner, but then again, impromptu make out sessions with local gangsters were not normally in her repertoire, despite what the boys' bathroom scribblings might have one believe.
Their new friend had arrived, tapping on the driver's side door. Weevil reached across Veronica to lower the window a crack, looking pissed. Veronica tried not to react as his arm involuntarily brushed her body en route. "Do you mind? I'm trying to have a moment with my lady friend here." Veronica blushed and hoped she looked the part of embarrassingly mussed ingénue. She hadn't expected to go into this by method acting.
The guy looked back and forth between the two of them, Weevil formidable and irritated, Veronica flushed and squirming. He looked like he was going to leave, but couldn't do it without a last-ditch effort at saving face. "With a camera?" he asked skeptically, nodding his head at the offending object.
"Hey, I don't ask what you do in the bedroom," Weevil snapped. "Can you go now?"
The guy eyed them. "You kids should get home," he said finally. "This is a bad part of town."
"Yeah, the part of town where people come over and knock on your cars for no good reason. Thank you, kind citizen, for your words of advice." Weevil fired off a sarcastic salute. The guy at last got the hint and walked away.
Weevil rolled up the window and Veronica melted back into her seat with a hot rush of relief. "Thanks. I think I owe you one."
"Nah, consider us even," was the answer, paired with a smirk.
"I have a sneaking suspicion there was a compliment lurking in there," said Veronica. She waited for a witty rejoinder to spring to mind, but none came. He hadn't really disarmed her that much, had he?
"So where's your usual bag of tricks? The scathing comment, the taser to the head, the guard dog positioned to take a bite out of my crime?"
Veronica rolled her eyes. Nice. He was worse than Logan on a bad day. "You get a pass this time, since you helped me out. But try anything like that again, and it'll end up being very unpleasant for you."
Weevil, to her surprise, and yet not, answered this with a smirk. "How do you know I don't like it a little... unpleasant?"
"I still have the taser, you know," she reminded him. "And my magnanimous feeling is fading." Although even that was a bit of a lie, as her urge to kill was almost to the point of nonexistent. Weevil, for his part, seemed to be a man of many talents, and his bragging rights were not unfounded. Chalk tonight up in the 'things she should probably never think about again' column.
"Well, I hope you're good with that camera," said Weevil abruptly.
She blinked at him. "Why?"
"'Cause those are the only shots you'll be getting. Our guy is gone."
"Damn," Veronica said again, twisting in her seat and realizing her error. "This was not supposed to happen." Talk about things she never wanted to think about again.
"Yeah, well, I had a bridge game tomorrow night, but I can reschedule."
"So we can follow this guy again," he filled in the blanks.
"Who said I was extending an invitation?" asked Veronica.
Weevil grinned at her. "Admit it, you like having me around. I keep you from being bored."
"Yes, because the life of a high school P.I. is oh so mundane?"
"At least the company you keep is interesting."
Veronica gunned the engine to spare herself from attempting to answer. Oh, if only her life could be just a little more mundane.