Work Text:
Acceptance
By Katrina L. Halliwell
Dr. Elizabeth Weir sat quietly in her quarters, listening to the soothing lullaby of the ocean, as she drank her tea. When Elizabeth had told Simon to not put his life on hold for her, she hadn’t expected him to end their relationship as well. It had been a few weeks since he broke it to her, told her that he was seeing someone, but it still seemed so surreal to her.
Too surreal.
Yet, no matter how much Elizabeth wished it to be only a dream, in her heart she knew that it was very real. She understood why Simon had done what he had done, she understood only too well, and she hated herself for that. If only she didn’t understand, would it make it seem less like failure? Her failure?
“You were gone so long…”
Yes, she had been gone so long but she had come back. She had come back to Simon, hadn’t she? Just like how she had gone on all those negotiations on Earth for so many days… weeks… even months! Sure, there were obvious differences, such as being able to call home, but Elizabeth expected Simon to understand. Furthermore, she expected him to wait. Maybe it was too much to expect of him.
There was a knock at her door and Elizabeth got up to answer it. John Sheppard’s youthful face appeared at her doorway. “Hey Elizabeth, couldn’t sleep?”
“John! What are you doing up so late?” Elizabeth motioned him to come in.
“I needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t sleep knowing that Ford’s out there.” He nodded up towards the sky. “Somewhere in the stars… dying.”
“He left on his own accord, John. There was nothing you could do.”
“I know. It’s just that…” John broke off.
“It’s just that what?” prompted Elizabeth.
“It’s just that…” John left out a heavy sigh. “I keep thinking that it’s my fault. I should’ve been here, in the city, fighting by his side, instead of trying to play hero again.”
“I know the feeling…” Elizabeth turned away from John and stared into her cup. “I know the feeling…”
John recognized the resignation in her, and worried. Elizabeth had been more isolated than usual since returning from Earth, but she hadn’t said a word about it to anyone. Although it was something that he only recently noticed, Elizabeth had hidden it well. “Penny for your thoughts.”
“Hm?” Looking up from her cup, Elizabeth gave an embarrassed laugh. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how easy it is to go home now. Especially because of the Daedalus.”
Liz was trying to change the subject but John wasn’t about to let her. “No… you were thinking about something else. What is it? Did something bad happen during our return to Earth?”
She hesitated for a moment, not quite willing to give out details of her personal life. “Simon met someone.”
“Uh… I’m sorry. Simon?”
“Right, I forgot. You don’t know. He’s… he’s someone I care about a lot.”
“Oh…” Now that he knew, John wished he didn’t. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s alright.”
“I better get going. After all, it is well past midnight.” John headed towards the exit. “Goodnight, Elizabeth.”
“Good night, John. Oh… and could you, I mean, don’t tell anyone, OK? I don’t want—”
“Don’t worry. No one will hear it from me.”
“Thanks.”
John nods. “’Night.”
“’Night,” Elizabeth echoed, not noticing that he had already left. Her mind had already wandered back to Simon.
“What did I do wrong?” she softly wondered aloud. “Should I have refused the offer to lead this expedition?”
No, her decision had been the right one. Elizabeth had been in the process of transformation ever since she found out about the Stargate program, but leading the expedition to Atlantis opened her eyes to so many possibilities. The Atlantis expedition was an opportunity of a lifetime; and it still is.
Elizabeth will find love again, though no one will ever compare to Simon. But she will never find another opportunity like Atlantis again.