Chapter 1: Chapter 1
You picked your name when you turned seven. You were ecstatic, scribbling down random names you thought of, speaking them aloud to your self. You went through hundreds until you found the one, the name that was yours. John.
You didn’t tell anyone though, it was a secret, you thought. It was special to you, and only special people should say your name. You told your best friend at the time, she was cute and had longish hair that reached the middle of her back, her name was Jade.
She didn’t seem to mind the change. She happily called you John, sometimes she cleverly came up with silly nicknames, Like JohnnyBoy. She had liked to use that one a lot.
Your Dad questioned it a bit but stopped asking after a while. Could it have been the look you gave him? Or the way you gnawed your lip? Who knows..
When you turned eleven was when your life changed quick, you downloaded a new chat software that had come out that year. Its title was PesterChum, Jade had one and had demanded that you did as well she was pretty persuasive. You stared at the blinking cursor for “chumhandle”, you simply couldn’t put your finger on what you wanted. You licked over your buckteeth as you contemplated, chewing passively at your lip when it hit you. It was so simple.
You smiled as you typed in “ghostlyTrickster”, and just like that you already had a friend request, from turntechGodhead. Who was that? You asked yourself as you double clicked his name which led to a chat window.
— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT] at 8:12—
TG: you there dude i see youre new here
You swallowed hard, Your first reaction was to type “hello”.
GT: Hello :B
TG: woah man switched letters
TG: anyway yo im dave strider
You smiled the biggest goofball smile you could conjure up before freezing, you stared at what you typed so far “I’m Jessica! Jessica Egbe-“ you glared at the name, You had completely disregarded it from existence, It didn’t belong to you anymore. You frantically hit the backspace and retyped before Dave could question.
GT: I’m John Egbert!!
TG: cool Egbert
TG: so where are you from
You did it, you really did it. You met your first friend as John Egbert. You swallowed and wiped the annoying tears that formed at the duct of your eyes and giddily continued typing to your new friend. You found out lots of things about him, You were only a little older than him, only by eight months anyway, He lived in Texas with his older brother, But he didn’t give you a name. That’s okay; He seemed to only call him
“Bro” anyhow. He cursed a lot for being eleven; you would barely utter the word “ass” without turning red or apologizing. Soon you guys became best bros, He gave you his cell phone number, which you were thoroughly surprised about I mean He was eleven and had his own cell phone!! And you gave him your home number.
The two of you became inseparable and you talked about him all the time to Jade, she seemed excited that you made another friend. She was proud of you, you could see it in her eyes, She was proud you stood up and decided to change to who you really were, and you were proud too, proud and happy…..but that all changed the day you turned thirteen.
Your jaw dropped, you couldn’t believe it. You knew this would happen but you never thought this would actually happen. You stared at your breasts in the mirror. The small lumps that seemed to sprout over night, you ran your hand over one and the look on your face looked even more disgusted. You were crying, practically screaming in fact. Why did this have to happen? Especially on your birthday?! Your screaming continued until your Dad knocked rather hard on the bathroom door.
“Jessica, what is going on in there?” You wanted to drown his polite tone in a screaming fit, but you coughed it down. You swallowed and he cleared his throat for an answer.
“Nothing Dad….” You spoke quietly but loud enough for him to hear, He sighed and smiled, you could hear it.
“Okay Darling, Happy birthday. I have to leave for work now.” He turned and walked away; you listened to his foot steps and the ruffling of his blazer as he pulled it on and walked out the door. You let out a loud groan and pulled on a baggier shirt in attempt to hide what you knew was there. You limply walked to the computer that sat on its perch on the living room coffee table. This was the worst birthday and the worst Saturday of your entire life span.
You double clicked the Pesterchum icon and stared at the user list. Jade was on but was idle, you expected that. She does tend to sleep a lot, but Dave was on. Just that fact was enough to make you smile. Before clicking his title you glanced at yours, ghostlyTrickster, the name seemed to fascinate you when you chose it. But now it just looked…..plain. You clicked options and simply thought over your new handle. It was really easy to you, you recall a guest speaker appearing at the career fair. He said he majored in ectobiology; a science that wasn’t fairly well known. He was handsome, and you were his helper through out the presentation.
You typed lyrically your new handle, ectoBiologist. You giggled, a first for today. As you opened the chat box to talked to Dave.
— ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 7:46—
TG: yo bro happy birthday
TG: decide to announce your coming of age with a new username
EB: Heehee Dave you’re silly!
You giggled to yourself as you talked to him, He always seem to make you happy. Even though it seems pretty helpless at the moment, He always finds a way. You talked a lot that morning about his brother’s new job and Dave’s new turntables that he’d been saving for.
TG: oh yeah and i got the shades you bought me in the mail today
TG: theyre perfect bro
TG: hold up ill send a picture
You breathing ceased as you slowly clicked the picture to save it, Your eyes trailed the progress bar to the end and you hesitated before opening it. The ding of the chat made you jump a bit.
TG: so what do you think
You opened the picture and stared at it, it was crooked but the camera quality was amazing, you could see all of Dave’s features. This was the first time you’ve ever seen a picture of him. You caught yourself staring at his lips before you exited from the screen.
TG: you there
EB: Yeah!! They look good on you!
You let out a relieved sigh through your teeth as the phone for the house rang. You ran to get it and answered cheerfully “Egbert Residence” A happy laugh made you smile and Yell out “Morning Jade!!”
“Mmnnnn morning” her sleepy tone was always cute to you, she was like your little sister, you wanted to protect her in many ways. “So today for your birthday guess what.” She prompted and you quickly replied.
“What, what, what!!” She giggled at your eagerness and whispered.
You stared at your new hair cut in the mirror, you ran your hand through it. You absolutely loved it. It was spiked just a little to where it complemented the natural waves. It was so much better than the long locks you kept long below your shoulders. Your eyes began to tear up as you smiled letting the world see your goofy teeth. You giggled and snorted and you just couldn’t believe it. You looked like you!
Soon after your hair cut you decided to try and hide those hideous deformities that lay on your chest. Jade was the best and provided you with ace bandages. Helping you string the bandages around your chest until you were satisfied. Once again you looked in the mirror and it was breathtaking.
You were lanky and 5’3, your glasses were a little askew from pulling on and off your shirt. Your white shirt with the little slime ghost from Ghostbusters laid flat against you and didn’t deform like when your breasts were showing. The baggy shorts looked awkward revealing your thin legs but you didn’t care. You smiled that big goofy grin once again.
“Jessica I’m home” Your Dad called to you and you froze. Shit your dad, you didn’t think about this, you thought there would be more time. You swallowed as you heard your dad step clumsily up the stairs and you stood breathing hard, The bandages hurt a little but you were too frightened to notice.
Your dad looked at you, not appalled, not disgusted, but not disgusted. You needed something, you needed material, and you needed to tell him; you needed to; you needed to.
You walked stiffly. None of your limbs wanted to work for you, you stepped up to you dad whom looked blurred in your hazy nervous vision. You swallowed that lump in your throat and held out your hand. Clearing your throat before projecting.
“Hi Dad, I’m John Egbert.”
—end of chapter 1
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Axx and Acer are completely correct in their comments, binding with Ace Bandages is EXTREMELY dangerous and very harmful, it shouldn't be attempted, I believe you should look into and do research about ANYTHING before you attempt it. The only safe way to bind is with a properly fitted chest binder, for any ftms out reading this please keep in mind you do not want to,in anyway, damage you're body. I wish you the best of luck on your endeavor.
His lips made a straight line, unmoving, that his pipe hung freely from. You stood shaking just a bit, You swallowed the rock that seemed to form in your throat as you remained still your hand presented to your father. He cleared his throat-
You definitely felt your heart stop, It had only been a few seconds but it definitely felt like a couple hours. With the constant buzzing of thoughts through your mind.
He hates me.
He’s mad at me.
He doesn’t want this
He wants his baby girl
He wants Jessica
He doesn’t want Johnathon
He’ll send you away
He’ll confine you
He’ll beat you
Your thoughts pause as he grips your hand firmly, his pipe now in his other hand and the box he was holding under his arm was now on the floor. He shook your hand slowly pumping your arm, “Nice to meet you John.” He smiled.
You let out a mental sigh of relief as a smile plays on your lips, Tears spill from your eyes and you can’t help but jump into your dad’s arms. You nearly knock him down the stairs but he doesn’t comment. He just holds you, stroking your hair like he always has. Jade stood there for a while before giggling.
“I told you he wouldn’t mind.” You hated when she did that, when she threw her ‘I told you so’s at you. But you probably deserved it. You always worried too much and ended up giving yourself a headache.
“Yeah” you giggled letting out a little snort, Your dad chuckled and wiped the tears dripping from your cheeks. He fixed your hair and you wiped your glasses. He cleared his throat once again before placing the pipe between his lips again for a moment. He pulled it out to speak again.
“Happy birthday John.” Your heart fluttered. Your daddy called you John….you did it, you finally did it.
— ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:15—
EB: oh you answered!
EB: I’m bored
TG: well good for you then
TG: what am i supposed to do about it
TG: we are not streaming one of your shitty movies again
TG: that last time was torturous
TG: oh god please john dont make me do that again
EB: oh shut uuuuuuuuuup
You pouted at the screen. It was the middle of summer and you were as bored as a cup of nails. Seriously where did you come up with that expression? None the less you were bored, Jade was asleep, and Dave was being a douche. You grumbled, tapping the space bar unknowingly adding it to the conversation you were having on pester chum. You let out a sigh moments before a light bulb hit you.
EB: what’s with all the spaces?
EB: anyway!! My dad bought me a laptop for my birthday
TG: i know you told me remember
EB: That’s not the pooooooooooooooooint
EB: It has a webcam on it.
EB: do you wanna video chat?
You didn’t even hold it in, a noise escaped your lips a very happy one that scared yourself, you weren’t even aware that you could make that sort of noise.
You redressed and combed your hair wanting to look good for reasons you couldn’t place your finger on, You hesitantly clicked the “turn on video” button and there you were mirrored in the screen, You smiled and waved hi, You had made very sure that the volume on your camera wasn’t on.
Suddenly Dave appeared, Just like you remembered in the picture you saw months ago. His hair was messy and he was in a black wife beater, His Adams apple was prominent it made you swallow and show a nervous smile. He grimaced, or was that a smirk? And that was the first time you heard his voice.
“Hello” he spoke, and yep. Your heart definitely skipped a beat. You licked over your lips unceremoniously and waved hi again. “Can you hear me?” His voice was a little deep but mostly natural for guys around your age but that didn’t keep your cheeks from tenting pink. You nodded and he responded quickly “Why aren’t you talking?”
EB: because my voice is ugly
“I doubt that.” He chuckled showing his perfectly straight teeth. You pouted but that just made him laugh. “Come on”
EB: no it’s ugly I tell you
EB: gross and high pitched
“So you haven’t gone through puberty yet. No one cares John.” You bit your lip with your buckteeth. You thought Dave was asking for a lot. This was the first time he has seen you and you’re passing for your gender. And now he wants to hear your voice. Your…high pitched feminine voice. Then he’d definitely know. You were about to shake your head once again but then he said something you didn’t think DAVE STRIDER would ever say.
“Please” You froze and nodded and hit the button for the microphone to come on. A light on the camera appeared and you smiled, giggling a little before you said.
—end of chapter 2
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
I realized in the previous chapter I indicated it was the middle of summer and in this chapter it is still april. I apologize but for what I have planned in this story I require it to be april. Please disregard the earlier statement of it being summer break.
In this chapter John receives a chest binder, the only proper way to bind. I provided a real source-where I got my chest binder. Please UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT BIND IMPROPERLY WITH ACE BANDAGES. If you need to bind with two sports bras. One worn facing forward one on top facing backwards, AND NEVER BIND FOR MORE THAN 8 HOURS. Make sure your chest binder is properly fitted and it doesn't hurt you, chafing at the shoulders is a sign it is too small.
Your conversation with Dave went pretty well. You didn’t talk about anything specific, mostly just about how it was getting “hot as balls” as Dave put it. Summer break was just around the corner and you couldn’t wait, It was so close you could taste it. After saying goodnight to Dave and shutting off your computer you heard a soft knock on your door.
“Yes?” You mechanically reply. Jesus, Dad trained you well. You coughed.
“Jessi- Johnathon.” Your dad was still getting used to the name change but you were okay with the mess ups. You were happy that he was trying. He strolled in and sat on your bed patting the space next to him. You stood from your desk chair and sat beside him. His arm draped around you, clasping your shoulder and pulling you to him. You nuzzled your head against his neck. He sighed and smiled. “I love you baby.” He whispered his normal phrase and rubbed your shoulder. You smiled happily baring your bucked teeth. “Which is why I don’t want you binding your chest anymore like you have been.”
What. Your eyes widened in shock, All air lost in your lungs. You couldn’t breathe. What…did he just say? You slowly looked up at him completely appalled. You slowly shook your head and he could tell. He could see the tears forming in the ducts of your eyes.
“Baby no. That is not what I meant. I’ve noticed, The bandages fold up under your shirt,” He clears his throat “Binding with bandages hurts you, Son. Which is why I went online and looked up a few things, It says you could permanently ruin your ribs, I want the best for you and that isn’t the best.” He looks at you sternly and you nod.
“Take off your shirt, let me see the binding.” You stood as commanded and lifted your shirt. Your dad circled around you and asked you to undo the binding, which you did, He politely looked only at your back and side.
He was right. The binding for the couple weeks you did bruised your sides and deformed your breasts. You swallowed, awaiting the scolding. He brushed the bruises gently and swallowed.
“I don’t want any more binding with this do you understand me Young Man?” His voice sounded pained, You nodded slowly before intercepting.
“But Dad I can’t have breasts! They make me want to throw up!! I can barely shower anymore! Daddy please!” You cried and plead. You didn’t care if it hurt you couldn’t stand you deformity of a body. He calmly shushed you and spoke to you quietly.
“Listen you can’t hurt yourself like this, I read about other methods of binding, They specifically make things for it that won’t damage you, I want you to get ready for bed and tomorrow I want you to go online and look up Chest Binders, Pick one you like and I’ll order it for you. Okay son?”
“Yes sir.” You smiled and he kissed your forehead. He whispered you goodnight and you walked to the bathroom. Still covering your breasts with your arm and the remains of the bandages, You stepped into the bathroom and looked yourself over in the mirror. You definitely hurt yourself andyes you regretted it. You sighed and peeled off the rest of your clothes and climbed into the shower.
That night you didn’t really dream much, A little bit of Dave but not much else, That morning you awoke brushed your teeth and wore a baggy shirt suitable enough to hide your chest. Turning on your computer you did the first thing that came to your mind. You went to Yahoo and asked the community “What is a greatly reviewed chest binder?” You left open the tab while you went to get something to eat.
When you returned you had an answer and checked out the website provided. “ftm.underworks….” you mumbled to yourself as you browsed their selection and found it very hard to make a choice. You looked over the reviews and finally settled on one.
That night your dad returned home and ordered the one you chose. In one week your binder would be there. One week of school. One week of having breasts. One week.
--end of chapter 3
Chapter 4: oops
Not actually a chapter
So for certain reasons I do not think I will be able to finish Metamorphosis.
I apologize to all those looking forward to the updates and following chapters. I had not even started a third chapter for I had no motivation to do so. I might write another FtM fanfic involving John but there's no telling when.