Chapter 1: Severus cannot have nice things
Today was a good day for Severus Snape, a good day indeed. He woke up by himself feeling refreshed and well rested, was able to eat that blueberry muffin that he loves but is always in too big a rush to be able to eat, and got the highest grade in an excruciating potions’ test.
Therefore, naturally, he knew that a catastrophe was about to happen. Maybe the giant Squid would eat him, maybe someone would Crucio him, maybe one of his experimentations with volatile potions would blow up and melt his face off, or he would fall from the astronomy tower.
Later, he wished that fate had been this kind to him. Instead, the catastrophe was the same one he had been facing during his six years as a student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Sirius Black, the most infuriating being in existence, has discovered and snatched his most precious possession: His virginity, oh no, wait, his book, his potions book, in which he would register the most extraordinaire discoveries in potions since 800 AC - But Black would not have the decency of just stealing or selling his discoveries; oh, no, that idiotic Gryffindor decided to focus in just one detail of that work-of-art in portions: the name of the owner.
That was a nickname that Snape took much pride on, one that was only his, that would connect him to his mother’s family and would provide anonymity just in case his most....exciting experiences were to be shown to the public eye. But Black, that moron, reduced it to being a vain wish for royalty, and that was the most recent form of torture that he found to make Severus so annoyed that he would gladly pick on his own eyeball with a fork and eat it, if it meant he’d get five minutes away from black.
Therefore, naturally, Black was following Snape just like a dragon who saw something shiny.
It started small; he noticed the absence of the book while in the library, and took the wisest course of action: panic and pray for all the superior forces that he ever heard of, and then actually start to search for the book. After the failure in finding it in the common room, the library and his room, he is already mentally preparing himself to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban by creating dark spells and thinking if he would be allowed to write a book about the experience while in prison
The he noticed something peculiar: nobody picked on him today. He saw the marauders, all threeof them today but they didn’t mess up with him. That only could mean that they were planning something big and he just hasn’t got the time for this shit today - But there weren’t three of them...they were four, damn it! He Always forgets about that little mouse-faced boy that seems about to have an orgasm every time Potter pulls something.... and he was present today, which means that the one who is missing is....Sirius Bloody Black.
Oh no, he really fucked up this time, even more that the time he thought that entering a dark tunnel under a homicidal three was a great idea. In his despair, he forgot about the boy that was the very bane of his existence and that had all the sneak necessary to steal something so precious to him. With those thoughts, he starts looking for Black like a mad dog.
He found Black in front of the broom shack near the quidditch pitch, already near the time of curfew, and had all intentions of duelling Black for his book. However, when he approached Black, he saw him, nodded in greeting, took his bag, and made his leave. Severus was so stunned to not be even called by a rude nickname, that he almost yelped when Black approached from behind and whispered: “May your sleep be pleasant, My prince”.
Since that unfortunate event a week ago, the little peace that was present in Severus Snape’s life had come to an end. Every place that he would go, Black was there, bowing exaggeratedly or just following him around, saying silly things like “What are the plans for this morning, my prince?”, and even appearing by his side when he was trying to sneak between classes (since he was avoiding the Great Hall thanks to “Black, the Bard” incident), saying how about that was no diet fit for a prince. He even had the nerve to appear in the Prefect’s Bathroom while he was in the bath just to ask “Is the water warm enough, my prince?”, scaring his soul out of him while he frenetically tried to hide his private parts from Black’s view.
He tried everything: yelling at him, mocking him, bribing him, and hexing him, but they were all in vain. That is why his life was reduced to an owl and mouse play with Black. He would avoid Black in the hallways, he would even avoid entering the Great Hall at all. He took his baths in his underwear and only ate anything and did his homework in the safety of the Slytherin dormitory.
Black was the most dramatic person in his life, and he was friends with Lucius someday-I’m-gonna-have-my-own peacock Malfoy! That is why after being caught in a mob of students with Black on his trail, he found himself at an unused classroom, bravely hiding under a table.