The Lampshadables

by Koe

Summary:

Ross and Christmas rub elbows. It's "their thing".

Notes:

(Spoilers:) Quote, The Expendables: "Church (Bruce Willis): You guys aren't gonna start sucking each other's dicks, are you?
[Barney (Sylvester Stallone) looks suggestively at Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Church laughs sarcastically] (...)"
- After that line, a slasher would think she's watching the right movie, right? Right? Nu-uh, a little elbow rubbing between the two dialogiest heroes (Stallone & Statham) is as far as it gets. ;_; But, fear not, fangirl-squad is fixing it as-you-read. ;)

Chapter 1: Trigger Warning

"GodDAMN! Stop it!"

"What..?"

"Stop THAT!"

"With the elbow?"

"Yeah, stop it with the goddamn elbow rubbing already! Goddamn!"

"But? Can't a man... We've always rubbed elbows, man. What's your goddamn problem NOW?"

"I haven't seen the missus in a goddamn month, man! Anything can set me off, and you don't want to be it, trust me! And stop it with the laughing!"

"It's your ELBOW, man. If you can't take a little elbow without going gay, I can't help you, man."

[Lee frowns at Barney and grumbles under his breath]

 

"Kiss'n make up?"

"Fuck YOU, man!"

"Love you, man!"