Looking back on that night it was impossible for anyone to figure out how they’d let Toki pick the movie.
But one rule and vital lesson was learned: never let Toki pick the movie.
It started out as a simple enough movie night. Everyone on the couch in the TV room watching what had to be on the list for one of the worst movies ever made, Bats. Of course, only Toki was really watching it.
“Toki, this has got to be the worst movie ever in existence.” Nathan growled, idly playing with one of the arms of Charles’ glasses behind his ear.
“No is real scaries, looks at dats guy! He gets eaten by de bats!”
“Dood, Toki, you can practically see the strings on the bats.” In truth, Pickles was too high to care, but he felt the need to explain to the Norwegian the difference between good and bad when it came to American sci-fi cinema. “And that blood is totally fake.”
“Dis is like, the stupidest movie I think I ever sees in my whole life. Not even any real hot sluts in it or anything.”
“Aww Skisgaar shutup! You just mad because I gets to pick the movie dis time and we not watch a porno like you wanted.
“A porno would’ve had a better schtory line.”
“Yeah, I agree with Murderface, a porno would’ve had a better story line.”
Sensing the conversation reaching argument level, Charles quelled the rising tide of their voices. “Boys. Boys, now Toki picked tonights movie and that’s the movie we’re going to watch good bad or scary, okay, and next week, Skwisgaar can pick. How does that sound?”
“No ways, why cant’s I pick dis time, why Toki’s always gets everyting firsts?”
“Skwisgaar, shut up, lets just watch the crappy movie and go to bed.” Nathan said, coupled with a look that let him know that he might as well not argue with the singer at this hour.
“Pfft, this is total dildos.” But as he glanced over at the rhythm guitarist, watching he squeal and flinch at every cheap special effect, an idea formed in his head, and you could almost see the 30 watt bulb click on. He got up and glided out of the room.
“Wheresche he going?”
“Maybe he went to get some booze.” Pickles added randomly.
He came back sometime later with that all too familiar, ‘I screwed some sluts’ face on, and proceeded to take his seat in between Toki and Nathan, who had Charles curled in his lap, playing with his hair.
“Where did you go?” Nathan asked inquiringly.
“Oh nowheres, just hads somes business to attends to in de bedrooms.”
Immensely comfortable in his current position, but still in possession of his senses, brain and ears, Charles peeked up from Nathans chest and gave Skwisgaar a calculating ‘mom trying to figure out why your so quiet’ look. And the blonde looked right back, completely innocent. So he didn’t feel like giving it another thought.
Finally, the movie that put everybody but Toki to sleep was over.
“Wakes up you guys, movies over.”
“Finally, I thought that schit was gonna go on forever.”
“Pickle, can I sleeps wit you tonight? I don’t want evil radioactive bats to comes gets me.”
“Toki, there’s no such thing as giant radioactive bats.”
“Yes dere is and they can sees in de darks, You saw how it ated dose guys in de movie, they’s gonna come gets me, and bites my neck off!”
“They don’t bite your neck off, they schuck your blood. So...they’re like, giant, radioactive vampire batsch that eat your muschles for nourischement.” Murderface said with slight awe at his idea.
This only served to throw Toki into near-hysterics.
“I don’t wanna be a vampire radio bats or whatsever! I Just wants to live!”
Charlie got up and stretched. “Toki, there is no such thing as-”
“Yes dere is we just watched it!!”
“There is no such thing as giant radioactive vampire bats. And besides, bats are blind, they’d only be able to hear you-”
“But you saws the movie! Dey can sees you!”
In absolutely no mood to argue, and aching from sleeping in such a strange angle, the manager conceded.
“Okay Toki. I’ll make sure all the lights are on the entire way to your room.”
“What dat does?”
“It’ll trick the bats to thinking its daytime, then they won’t want to eat you.”
“Haha little Toki’s havings to goes to bed with nightlights. Yous just goes to sleep now baby Tokis with you little teddies.”
“Shutup Skwisgaar, I’s not a baby.”
“Guys, shut up and go to bed, I’m tired. So, like stop it.”
Charlie had to remember to thank Nathan for stopping the brewing of what was sure to be another argument between the Scandinavians, and allowing them all to go to sleep. They did as they were told, and soon everyone was making their journeys back to their sleeping chambers. Toki nervously glanced around the entire brightly lit hallway the entire time he went down it, clutching Deddy for comfort. He was so nervous, he didn’t notice the pair of blue eyes following from a nearby closet.
He finally made it back to his room and as soon as Toki got into his pajamas and into his bed safely with the lights off, big round black kinda fuzzy things rained down on him, hitting his head with many thuds.
“AAAAAIIIIIIAAAAAIIIIIIAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He screamed, in that way that only Toki could. He snatched Deddy and bolted down the now very dark hallway, screaming the whole way, being pelted with more of the black balls which he had to assume were bats. He was, of course way too spooked to look back, lest he lost a second of time and was devoured by the beasts, and it’s too bad he didn’t too, or else he would have noticed the fastest guitarist alive running directly behind him, pelting him with what appeared to be balls of some sort.
Toki finally made it to his destination, wrenching the door open, slamming it shut and pitching himself straight into the covers of Charles Foster Ofdensen’s bed. Poor Charlie, he should have known it was coming. He and Nathan, had been too tired to do anything at all, so the two of them just ended up spooning and were asleep quite comfortably and quickly. That is until a brunette in pajamas with a teddy bear woke them up.
“Toki!! What are you doing! Why are you in here!”
“The bats, they come gets me and tries to eat my neck off, I told you sos I told yous! Now they gonna eats us all and—chh, ack…” He began to have trouble with his hysterics when Nathan grabbed him.
“Nathan, stop that! You’re choking him!”
“No I’m not, I’m using hug therapy on him, to calm him down.”
“Well stop using hug therapy. It’s not accomplishing anything.”
Toki was somewhat more lucid after that though and he told Nathan and Charles what happened.
“Toki, I’m positive there are no bats in Mordhaus, it was just probably one of your band mates playing a trick on you.” His theory was further proved when Pickles and Murderface entered, half asleep.
“Whatsch all the noische about? Don’t you know I need my beauty rescht!”
“A lotta good that’ll do,” Pickles sniggered. “Toki, why’re you screamin’ down the hall at this hour anyway?”
“Giant radioactstive bats was chasing me tryings to eats me!”
“Wow, we really have radioactive bats?”
Charles pinched the bridge of his nose. “No Pickles, we don’t have radioactive bats. Now can we all please just go to-”
“Hey where’s Skwisgaar?” Nathan wondered aloud. It was strange that Toki hadn’t been called a ‘criesbaby’ by now for one thing.
“Maybe he gets eaten by de bats! Oh that would serves him good, after he teaseded me about its, then he becomes bat shits!”
Charlie grabbed at his night table and finally retrieved what he was looking for, his dethphone. He got up from the bed, leaving the boys to ponder what he was doing as he walked out of the hall. After finally managing to dial the number he was looking for (it took longer without his glasses on) and waited.
It didn’t take long for him to follow the sound of the grating ring tone into a nearby closet, the owner, so encompassed in his silent giggle fit, completely unaware he’d been caught.
“Ahem, uh Skwisgaar?”
He froze and looked up like he was the one staring at the giant radioactive bat.
“Oh, um…his! Fancy seeings you heres out in de hallways like dis, I was just ums, uh uh uh…I’ms just goings to my beds so goodnight Mr. Lawyers man!”
Charles had to hand it to Skwisgaar, he made an attempt. He tried to dart past Charles, but his size contributed to the manager taking him down in a lightning fast move that had him on his ass in two seconds. All he could so was give Charlie a sheepish expression from the floor.
“So Skwisgaar, wanna, maybe tell me what you’ve been up to?”
The embarrassment of the fastest guitarist alive was instantly doubled when the rest of the boys came out of Charlie’s room to see what the noise was in the hall.
“Oh hey, Ofdensen found Skiwsgaar. Skwisgaar where’d you go?”
“He didn’t go anywhere Nathan, I’m afraid this was the source of the night’s commotion.”
“Schkwisgaar? He had the batsch!”
“Aww Skwisgaar, dats not fair! Why you gets radioactive bats to attacks me? I thought we was friends!”
“Wait wait, dood, you said there weren’t any radioactive bats!”
“Pickles there weren’t-”
“What! Wait this whole time there actually was radioactive bats! Brutal.”
“We schould do schomething about thisch!”
“Yeah, like what if they can see us right now and wanna eat us!”
“Aww Skwisgaar look what you does, now we all goings to get eatens by bats.”
Having had quite enough of the senseless conversation, Charles intervened. “There were NO radioactive bats! IDIOTS!” This got their attention well enough. “There are NO radioactive bats, Skwisgaar was teasing Toki. Now, Swisgaar apologize to Toki so we can all go to bed.”
“No ways I ams doings dat. Toki such a big criesbaby aniesway, how about you goes cries to…” But he looked at the look of increasing anger on his manager’s face and changed his mind. “Sorries Toki.”
“And?” he said expectantly.
“And whats? Whats yous want I apologiszding to him don’ts I?”
“*sigh* whatever, just, lets all go back to bed. Okay? Toki, there’s no radioactive bats so you can-”
“NO! I’s too scared to goes back all de ways to my rooms.”
“Okay, I’m tired, how about Skwisgaar takes you back to your room then or Pickles?”
“No way, not Skwisgaar, dat big dildo.”
“Yous de dildo.”
“Can me and Deddy stays wif you guys? I promise we bes real quiet. Please please pleases!”
Here Charlie reached the end of his rope. “Fine Toki, but if you’re not quiet I will physically throw you out of here understand?”
“Ja ja, we bes real quiet promise!”
And so it was that Charles and Nathans night became Toki snuggled in between the two of them.
“Admit it he looks really cute when he’s not hyperventilating.”
“I suppose, but I wish they could knock it off already and just be…why do I even bother.” He let himself fall asleep, and decided to worry about it in the morning.
Seven o’ clock quickly rolled around and Charles left the boys in the bed and started the day. When he was near done he went to his dresser to finish and put his shoes on. He sleepily reached into his sock drawer, then looked to make sure nothing was there. He put two and two together.