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I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You

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Soul did not like clubbing one bit. Especially when it was all going so horribly, like this.

He had no idea who had suggested that they go clubbing, in this club, of all the infernal places, but he wanted to kill them. Everything about this club was suggestive, the music was shitty, the smell was giving him a headache, and worst of all, he wanted to hit every single person who walked by him.

A waitress rubbed his arm. "Hey hun, you don't look to relaxed there."

"No shit, Sherlock." He threw his arm out aggressively, making the waitress trip. She glared at him.

"What the Hell was that for?"

"Invading my personal bubble."

Soul didn't really like drinking, but he'd decided to get shitfaced when he saw Maka dirty dancing with Kid. Maka was so-so at dancing, but Kid looked like a beaver having a seizure, and Soul hadn't ever seen either. Soul was now stumbling around aimlessly, wondering where Black*Star and Tsubaki had gotten off to. He stood still for a minute, wobbling and thinking. He didn't want to know.

He pushed through the crowd, looking for Kid and Maka. Boy, was he ever gonna teach that little shit a thing or two about touching his girl…

He finally found them. He attempted to hit Kid, but his blade came out and he wound up slashing him in the cheek.

"What was that for?" Soul mumbled something. "What?"

"I said quitting hitting on Maka!"

"Hitting on her – what the fuck are you smoking?" Soul didn't dignify his question with a verbal answer. But his physical answer sent Kid smashing into the wall. People quickly took their eyes off of their dates, crowding around shouting for a fight.

Liz, standing on the outside of the circle, slapped her forehead. "Oh, for the love of God…"

Kid raised his hand to slap Soul, but Soul lunged first, punching him full on the stomach. He slapped and hit, beating the ever-loving shit out of Kid until Maka grabbed his arm in mid-swing.

"How much have you had to drink, Soul?"

Soul swayed back and forth, bleary-eyed. "That depends, Maka…how many of you are there right now?"

Maka groaned in exasperation, dragging Soul out of the club by the ear.

"What the Hell is wrong with you?"

"What the Hell is wrong with me? What the Hell is wrong with Kid?" he stumbled back and forth, incapable of standing still or in one place. "Kissing you…grinding up against you…perv…" he murmured.

Maka stood, head tilted a tad, one hand over her mouth trying to hide her chuckling. "Soul, are you jealous?"

"Jealous! No! Yes! I don't know!" he finally fell onto his knees, face down on the sidewalk.

Maka sighed again. "And this would be so romantic if you weren't about to vomit."

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As a child, Soul had drunk his fair share of cold medicine to fall asleep. The sleep hangovers he woke up with then were nothing compared to the monstrosity he was experiencing now.

"Well, good morning sleeping beauty." Maka had a smug look in her eye. Soul groaned, hand out for the coffee pot. Maka turned around and put a mug of freshly made coffee in his hand.

Soul stumbled backwards. One of the few things he actually remembered doing last night… "Thanks."

"No problem." He could smell her cooking…something. He sat down at the kitchen table, one hand on his forehead.

"Fuck it… Maka, how much did I drink last night?"

"According to the barmaid, half a bottle of 100 proof cherry vodka. Funny, I thought it would take more to get you drunk."

He grimaced. "I'm surprisingly light-weight."

She put the food down in front of him and sat opposite. As Soul ate, his headache began to clear up bit by bit. By the time he was done, his hangover had mostly subsided. Ah, the plus sides of being a Death weapon, he thought.

"Blair also helped your hangover a bit." Soul looked up and saw Maka making circles on the top of her mug, like she was trying to do that wine glass trick.

"What's up?"

"Why did you hit Kid last night?"

Soul scratched the back of his head. That was one of the copious amounts of things about last night he didn't remember. "Shit…no clue."

Maka started twirling her mug around, head bobbing in time to some non-existent music. "He was dancing with you."

Maka looked up. "Huh?"

"You two were dirty dancing!" now the both of them were blushing. "God!" he stood up to go back to his room. Maka jumped up, grabbing his arm.

"It doesn't mean anything."

"The Hell it doesn't! You were grinding up against him!"

"Soul," Maka was looking at him deadly seriously. "Kid doesn't exactly swing this way –"

"I oughta kill him for – Wait, what?"

"You wouldn't dance with me, so I figured, better dancing with him than Black*Star or some random stranger."

"Kid is –" she slapped a hand over Soul's mouth.

"Don't tell anybody."

Soul sighed in relief. "Oh, good. Thought I was going to lose my girlfriend to a twirp."

"Since when am I your girlfriend?"

Soul could have pointed that she'd spent the last several months holding his hand for absolutely no reason whatsoever, but decided instead that sticking his tongue down her throat was much more effective.

Maka came out blushing. "If you're going to be teasing anyone, you've gotta be teasing me, okay? Please?"

She smiled deviously. "Oh. Yes. And believe me. There will be teasing." She licked his neck before pushing him back on the couch… and walking away to do the dishes.