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tipsyGnostalgic [TG] opened memo on board MOTHERFUCKIN MAKEOUT PARADISE.

TG: ok errybody get the fuck in here right no

TG: *now

TT: Oh boy, here we go.

TG: it has come to my attnentiom that a certina blue texted girl WHO SHALL NOT BE NMAED

TG: *lol whatevs lots of typos

TG: is planing on doing THE FULL SEXXORS!!!! gasps!!! with a certain GREEN TESTED BOY

TG: who shall also not be named

TG: (its jane and jake in case u didnt get it)

GT: Oh good god what.

GG: Roxy!

GG: How on Earth did you find that out?

GG: And why is it any of your business?!

TG: tsk tsk tks

TG: janey janey janer

TG: if ur gonna talk about the sexys

TG: (which btw U TOTTALY SHULD_

TG: u gotta learn not 2 do it on a big fucking holosceern

TG: *screen

TG: where anyrbody

TG: especially a certian someones server paller

TG: *baller

TG: ^^^ yup

TG: can read it

GG: What do you…oh. Oh!

GG: Dirk!!!

TT: In my defense, my screen was centered on you because I was throwing your furniture at imps.

TT: You have to practice constant vigilance if you hope to succeed, and that includes keeping an eye on your surroundings.

TT: Luckily for us, my knack for multitasking allowed me to read your screen backwards while destroying the feisty little assholes.

GG: How am I lucky that you peeped on my private correspondence with my sweetheart?

TG: lmoaaa

TG: bcuz there is exactly 1 thing better than “correspondign" ;) with ur sweetheart

TG: and thats correpsonding with ur sweetie…and ur friends too

TG: if u know what i mean

GG: Are you…proposing a…er…

TT: Foursome?

TT: Yes, she is.

TT: Well, we both are, I guess.

GG: What made you think that this could possibly be a good idea?

TG: we love u

TG: n thats what

GG: ...

GT: Um if i may offer anything to say considering this proposal is something thats affecting me too?

GT: I might be...

GT: Well.

GT: Willing to give this romp a try, if thats a thing youd be okay with, jane.

GG: Jake, you too?

GG: But what about the sanctity of our relationship?

TG: fuck sanctitty this shits hotter

GT: They are our closest chums, and its not like weve never entertained a frisky thought or two about them right?

GT: I mean at least i havent.

TG: oh jake bb ;)

GT: And this could be like an adventure in the name of our relationships.

GT: All of ours that is.

GG: Oh, you and your adventures!

TG: cum on janey just think about it plz

GG: Well…

GG: I wanted this to be a special thing but…

GG: I guess I should try and be open to this option?

GG: I do love the lot of you.


TG: its pailin time erryone

TG: now we just got 2 figure out how to meet up and not worry bout the damn imps

GG: Shouldn’t we wait until after we have beaten the game?

TT: The opportunity could be whisked away at a moment’s notice.

TT: This game is very cold and unforgiving.

GG: True…

GG: We’ll figure something out, okay?

GT: Alright! Well then ill let all of you debate this out whilst i go for more adventuring around lomax.

GT: I can hear some kind of ballyhoo in the distance and what kind of a heroic lad would i be if i didnt go and check that out right a fuckin way?

GT: No kind of heroic lad thats what kind id be.

GT: Farewell friends and may we meet again soon!

[GT] ceased responding to memo.

TG: snrk

TG: ballyhoo

TG: somethin funny aboit that word

TG: anyway yyeah l8rs!!!!! <333

[TG] ceased responding to memo.

TT: Give me some time and I'll find a way to keep the monsters out of a house for a day. Yours will do fine, right?

GG: Yes, I would say so!

TT: Maybe some robotic sentries are all we need.

TT: I'll puzzle it out with the AR.

TT: Later.

GG: Goodbye, Dirk!

[TT] ceased responding to memo.

GG: ...oh, just what have I gotten myself into?

[GG] ceased responding to memo.


timeausTestified [TT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TT: After some testing and time spent toying with the alchemiters, I've hit upon a solution for our problem.

TT: It's easy to install and it works like a charm; laser turrets set up around the edge of the house – courtesy of Rox – and robotic sentries, designed much the same way as Brobot.

TT: Imps have been avoiding this shit like the plague all day, and even the giclops and basilisks are having trouble getting past the lasers.

TT: We'll have the night to ourselves for whatever we might want to be getting up to, down on, turnways with...

TT: The list goes on.

TT: We can set the date for tonight if you want.

TT: Are you ready?

GG: Um.

GG: Well yes I suppose I am!

GG: If not now, then when, right?

TT: Don't rush into this if you aren't totally ready.

TT: We all want you to enjoy yourself. Rox and I are just tagging along for the ride. Because let's face it, we couldn't leave you two alone no matter how hard we tried.

GG: Alright, then. I promise you that I am totally ready.

GG: And...

GG: Thanks, Dirk.

TT: Yeah.

TT: No problem, Jane.

TT: See you tonight at your place.

timeausTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]



The gentle hiss of the shower made the bathroom a sanctuary for Jane as she prepared herself for the night ahead. She could not hear her friends in the room outside, whatever they were saying, and they could not hear her. She was thankful for a moment to herself, and far more than just a little nervous to go out and join them. She had thought herself prepared for her first time with Jake, but with two more people added to the equation, she was second guessing herself. What if they didn't think her breasts were big enough? What if they were too big? What if she was too chubby? What if she performed terribly, what if, what if...

Oh, confound it, Jane! There was no time to be such a worry-wart. She was going to go out there and have the night of her life and no amount of self-doubt would stop her.

...she hoped.

Jane exited the shower having scrubbed every inch of her body, and washed every inch of her hair. She dried herself off thoroughly and inspected herself in the mirror. Once convinced she was looking decent enough, she wrapped a towel around herself, took a deep breath, and entered the bedroom.

She would have liked to say that first thing she noticed upon entering the room was the adorably goofy expression on Jake's face, or the slight nod that Dirk gave her, or the way Roxy's face lit up at the sight of her. Unfortunately, she couldn't say that, because the first thing she noticed was that everyone was naked.

Jake was a strapping young man, his body tanned and rugged from a childhood spent on a tropical island. She had never before seen him so much as shirtless; her heart leapt in her chest at the sight of him...but it wasn't the only part of her that felt excited. She couldn't keep her eyes from flicking down to his crotch – he was not erect, and she didn't even know by what standards to judge a penis, but she blushed and found her breaths quickening nonetheless. Embarrassed and still speechless she tried to look away, only for her gaze to fall instead on Dirk. With toned muscles and no erection, he looked much like Jake. Blushing further and fearing she looked like a complete fool, she tried to avert her eyes once more, only for them to come to rest on Roxy's body, her slim shape and perky breasts...

“If you're gonna stare, you'd better drop that towel.” Roxy's eyes twinkled mischievously as she mimed disrobing. It didn't help the matter of Jane's blush any.

“Yeah, Jane. We all had the magnanimity to declothe ourselves for the upcoming event, now it's your turn.” Dirk added.

Jane fidgeted and squirmed under their gazes, biting down on her lip. “Well, I'm rather nervous...”

Jake smiled at her; a warm, beaming smile that made her think he could put even a rampaging animal at ease. “Aw come on Jane, you're going to be a bombshell of a babe, absolutely hotsy-totsy and we all know it, and I think we all want to get a glimpse, myself especially.”

Jane thought for a moment she'd outright faint; whether it was because of her embarrassment or an English-induced swoon, she did not know. Steeling herself, she unwrapped the towel and allowed it to drop to the floor. The effect was instantaneous – both Jake and Roxy wolf-whistled, grinning, and Dirk simply said, “Hellacious bod, Jane.”

Her spirits greatly improved, Jane was courageous enough to walk closer to her friends, throwing in a wiggle of the hips as she moved. “The lot of you are marvelous too, you know.” There was an awkward pause as her friends nodded, smiled and murmured thanks. Now that they were all naked in a room together, nobody seemed to know what the next move was. Roxy, at least, didn't seem all too perturbed by the lull in conversation, taking the chance to steal more glances at her naked friends.

“” Jane managed, breaking the silence. “Shall we kick this off? I think I am just about ready know...”

“To fuck?” Roxy offered.

“...yes, that exactly. Where shall we begin?”

“Your call.” Dirk said, crossing his arms behind his head. “I'm really only tagging along here 'cause Roxy made me, and being around you guys is a pretty fuckin' fantastic way to spend a night, anyway.”

“Well,” Jake piped up, “What say I give you a good old fashioned missionary diddling? You know, with friends along for the show, of course.”

Roxy giggled. “Still can't believe I have friends who use words like guys are so beyond great.”

“Oh shoosh Roxy, you go around using terms like 'pail' and 'wiggling day', I don't think you're any better.” Jane admonished. “Your 'good old fashioned diddling' sounds lovely, Jake. Er, first you need to be hard though, right?” She glanced down at him, and he clearly wasn't at the peak of arousal yet.

“Oooh, lemme take care of that!” Roxy slipped behind Jake and wrapped her arms around him, breasts pressing into his back. Eagerly, a hand found his soft penis and lightly stroked it. Jake’s breath hitched and he stiffened immediately, the erection rising ‘til it stood at attention. Roxy’s thumb glanced over the head, and then she pulled away, to wink at Jane. “He’s aaaaall yours. Do whatcha want with him.”

Jane took a few hesitant steps forward before sinking to her knees before him. Always the aspiring sleuth, when she first learned about sex she had taken to the internet to do some research; though the results had proved mainly inconclusive – all the porn sites felt so fake! – she was relatively certain she was supposed to give him oral before starting. She leaned towards his erection and caught a whiff of an odd scent – it was a rather unique, subdued aroma, one that seemed to hang in the air and stir her onwards. She planted a kiss on the tip and the gasp above her told her that it was the right move. She lowered her mouth down and dragged her tongue up along it. As it was almost fresh from a shower there wasn’t much of a taste to it…that of skin, mixed in with the faintest smell of sex.

“Am I doing okay?” she asked, looking to Jake for assurance. He nodded his head dumbly, and Roxy butted in— “Look at the way he’s twitching and you tell me, Ms. Crocker.”

Jane pressed on, letting her mouth wrap around him. She felt it jerk upwards in her mouth, the sensation foreign but not altogether bad. She let herself bob up and down, pushing it in and out, running her tongue along it while she worked. She traced circles around the head and slathered affection upon it. Her movements inexpert and cautious, they seemed to be doing the trick nonetheless. Jake clenched the bedsheets and breathed heavily – Roxy, her arms still wrapped around him, smiled down at Jane with an impish glint in her eye.

“E-er, you’re doing well there, quite well, but um…could you watch your teeth?” Jake asked, after a wince.

Head still bobbing and tongue still working, Jane mumbled a ‘sorry’ and continued sucking him off. Determined to please, she coated his every inch in saliva, pulling away only to breathe. Eventually, as Jake mumbled and moaned above her, Roxy stooped down to coax Jane away.

“Don’t want him blowing his load too fast, do we? He’s got a fuck-ton ‘a fucking to do still!”

“R-right,” Jane murmured, blushing profusely. She had forgotten, for a moment, that she was not alone with her lover. “Then let’s get on with it, shall we? No use in blustering about doing nothing, right?”

Jane made to lift herself into Jake’s lap and the boy spluttered, her breasts heaving into his face. Before she could lower herself, however, she found a rough pair of hands pulling her backwards. She tensed up as a hand slipped between her legs, a finger running along her folds.

“Not so fast, young lady.” With one hand on her shoulder and the other by her legs, Dirk quite easily lifted Jane into his arms. “You do understand that intercourse requires a certain amount of lubricant to proceed efficiently with minimal pain?”

“Um, what?”

“You can’t just expect Jake over there to stick himself inside you when you aren’t ready for it. Try to shove something hard into a small, dry hole, and it hurts like shit. Believe me, I learned that first-hand.” Jane nodded her head, hesitant to ask for further information. There was an awkward silence punctuated only by a few giggles from a grinning Roxy. Dirk marched over to the bed and laid Jane down on her back, beside Jake. “So...what does her majesty desire?”

“I’m not your majesty.” Jane insisted. “I’m your friend.

The ghost of a smile crossed Dirk’s expression for the briefest second. “Alright. What can we do to prepare our friend for the night of her life?”

It took a while to vocalize the desire, but Jane found a certain sort of comfort in saying it. “Jake, I want you to kiss me.” When he nodded eagerly and moved towards her lips, she stopped him with a finger. “Lower.”

Confused, Jake shuffled down, hovering over her breasts. “Lower.” Roxy’s eyes lit up and she giggled again, and Dirk nodded his head in approval. Jake moved down towards her stomach. “Just a bit lower, dear.”

Jake moved straight off the bed and kneeled down in front of her.

“Jane, if I go sinking myself down even a mite lower I’m going to be givin’ your toes a right doozy of a time.”

Jane laughed. She couldn’t help but feel her usual hoo hoos were a little out of place, but no-one seemed to mind. “You’re good right where you are.”

Jake nodded, smiled, and leaned in to give her a kiss. His nose bumped up against her and his lips pressed to hers at an odd angle, but it still felt wonderful, and when his tongue traced a slick line up along her folds she shuddered with pleasure. He kissed and licked, just as inexperienced as she had been with him, but she couldn’t find the time to care. She looked up to see Roxy smiling down at her, with two soft mounds just slightly obscuring her face. One of Roxy’s arms trailed down her body and stretched out of sight, but the short gasps that Roxy made and the tilt of her hips as she grinned gave Jane a good idea of what she was doing. Jane glanced to Dirk to find him chill as always, arms crossed behind his head. Only his stiff erection gave any indication that he, too, was aroused.

Jane herself felt a wetness between her legs that was only in part Jake’s saliva…the other resulted of a shivering, wondrous feeling that jolted through her every time his lips pressed to her muff, and his tongue flicked along it. She yelped when he brushed against her clit, pushing just a little too hard, but when he shrank away nervously she urged him back in. So he continued, diligent, as determined to please as she was, and it was only when she began to feel her hips buck upwards and her mind beg her to keep going, her body desperate for release, that she realized it was time to move on.

“A-alright, that’s enough…” she managed, her voice wavering. Trembling, she found a new wave of anxiety washing over her…but before any sort of panic set in, Roxy’s hand found hers. It was warm, squeezing her palm gently, and Roxy’s smile reassured her.

“Ready, Jane?”

Jane nodded, and turned back to her lover. “Go on, then, Jake. I want you.”

Jake stood up. After his time spent between her legs he seemed to have almost softened up, but Dirk was there behind him to ensure he was ready to go again. As he took hold, he leaned over to whisper something in Jake’s ear. Jake nodded, and grinned.

“Of course, chap! I’m not going to leave one of my best friggin’ friends high and dry while I’m romping around with my dame!”

Dirk nodded, and again he seemed to grin for the briefest of seconds. Even without knowing his side of the conversation, Jane felt she could practically read his mind: all according to plan. Just here because Roxy made him, yeah right! He was here for Jake, just as she was. He was lucky that by now, she was in the mood to share.

With Dirk guiding him towards the bed, Jake slowly leaned over Jane, pressing down on top of her. She felt comforted by the weight atop her, shivering and smiling, heart beating fast. Even with her breasts in the way, she swore she could feel his beating as well. She tensed up a bit as the tip of his erection pressed against her, led by Dirk’s hand. The head parted her folds and then in a fluid, natural motion, he slowly sank inside her and she was filled with his warmth. There wasn’t the slightest bit of pain, not a hitch or a snag – just a sudden surge of desire, and a triumphant sort of feeling. Here she was at last…with two more people than she had expected, mind, but even that seemed right. Her one hand held Roxy’s tight, and she felt Dirk’s rougher hand take her other, and Jake’s arms wrapped around her back.

“…holy Christ that’s quite a…a feeling, that is, inside you…” Jake managed after a while. “A real slammin’ hard knock of a blast of a feeling, the kind that makes a lad want to just…just blow his whole flipping load right there, you know?”

Jane blushed and smiled. “Um, thanks.”

Roxy giggled and poked his cheek. “No quick-shots, you gotta keep going ‘til you’ve fucked her brains straight out, k?”

“Um, I’m not sure I want—mmphhh!” Jake’s lips met hers and he shook his hips, rolling himself forward and back inside her, and in that instant Jane was suddenly quite sure that she did want her brains fucked straight out, right now, thank you very much Mr. English.

Jake was all too eager to oblige. Tugging at her lips he kissed her over and over, rocking his hips, pushing in and out. The heat and movement inside her sent waves of pleasure coursing through Jane, arousal steadily seeping in. Jake grunted and gasped; half the time his eyes were locked with hers, still nervous but so loving, and half the time they seemed a bit less focused, like he was having trouble concentrating through the haze of sex. His thrusts were stilted and irregular, and Jane thought it a sign of inexperience at first, but she soon noticed Dirk hunched over him, moving his hips in time with Jake’s.

She looked down to see Jake pumping inside her, and a momentary fluttery blush of embarrassment overtook her, and then she craned her neck to see Dirk’s erection sliding between Jake’s thighs. At the sight her breath hitched and her heart leapt…something about it just seemed so…erotic. She glanced to her right and was met by Roxy’s roving eyes. The girl was looking all up and down Jane’s body, at Jake, at Dirk…she gasped and grinned, her fingers slick between her legs, her hand still holding Jane’s. Jane felt another sudden jump of her heart, her hips bucked upwards of their own accord, and she found herself wishing Jake would pound her harder.

“Jake, you can…go faster.”

Jake nodded, and began to speak, but Roxy cut him off. “C’mon Jane, your boyfriend is fuckin’ you and that’s all you can manage? You gotta stop being such a tightass, and start being a hot ass!”

“Um…” Jane began, struggling to think of something to say. “Jake…bang me?”

Roxy sighed. “Say what you feel! Exactly what you want him to do!”

Jane wanted him to ravish her – she wanted to feel her hips bucking and heart pounding, feel his weight and warmth pressing down on her. She wanted him to take her, completely, and for her friends to enjoy themselves too. For Dirk to splatter Jake’s thighs and Roxy to moan and shudder and Jake to fill her up, and…

“Jake,” she panted, letting her hips rock up into him again, “I want you to…well, to fuck me so hard everyone in the room feels it!”

She blushed and squeezed her eyes shut. Roxy murmured, “Oh, Janey” into her ear. She hesitantly re-opened her eyes to see Dirk give her a thumbs-up and a “Brodacious”, and Jake look at her with a steely, determined expression.

“That sounds about the bee’s knees, Jane.” Jake grinned.

And then he slammed into her.

She gasped, a sudden jolt shaking her, but before she recovered he was sliding out, slipping away from her, and then crashing back in. He shook his hips wildly, pressing down on her, his chest rubbing against hers, his body grinding against her. Jane could feel him, every bit of him, his arms wrapped tightly around her and his cock, hard and hot, stirring her up inside. Her hips moved in tandem with his and she tried to wrap her legs around him, only for them to bump up against Dirk’s hips. She settled on letting her legs stretch and curl upwards, tensing up from sheer arousal.

She turned to the side to see Roxy, still masturbating furiously, and resolved to do something to help her. She let go of Roxy’s hand and tried to stretch her arm down lower.

“Jane, you don’t have to—“

“Yes, I do!” Jane gasped. “You’re a-aah…as much a part of this as I am and I will not leave my best friend to watch while the rest of us ...mmnnh...enjoy ourselves!”

There was a moment of near-silence, punctuated only by Jake’s grunts and the wet, sloppy sounds coming from between them, and then Roxy pressed her lips to Jane with a feral, lust-drenched sort of ferocity. Behind the kiss was a hunger that Jane had never experienced when Jake was kissing her…a primal kind of desire, a need for the connection. Roxy’s tongue sought out Jane’s and they intertwined, and Roxy sucked on Jane’s lips, and pulled away only for breath, and came back and back again for more desperate, messy kisses, and the entire time her hips rocked and her body shivered and she pumped her fingers between her legs…

Jane shuddered and struggled to keep calm, keep breathing steadily, feeling almost overwhelmed. Her pussy was wet and ready for Jake, squeezing down and pulling his cock ever inwards…she wanted more…more, faster and harder, she wanted him to fuck her into the bed, fuck her out of her mind…Roxy’s lips on hers were a godsend, urging her onwards…she could feel Dirk behind Jake, feel the little ripples from his every thrust…she could smell lipstick and alcohol and sex in the air, and her mind was screaming, begging for release, her hips were bucking and twisting and her body convulsing and burning and she wanted to let go, she wanted to give herself to them all…

Her orgasm was unlike anything she had experienced before. No soft, quiet shudder, no sudden wave of pleasant, glowing arousal, not even the kind that left her lying on her bed with her panties soaked and her chest heaving. It was like an explosion of warmth and ecstasy and need, it was a tortured moan into Roxy’s mouth and her pussy clamping down on Jake as she gave in, it was the rush of excitement coursing through her every vein, it was a single moment of bliss and then a sort of buzz as it all came falling down.

Jake stopped moving, and Roxy’s lips left hers, and Dirk slowed his own thrusts to a crawl. Jake had a concerned look in his eye.

“G-golly, Jane, did you just…?”

She managed a weak nod. “Wonderful…positively wonderful…”

“Smashing!” Jake grinned, and made to pull out from inside her. She shook her head.

“You too…all three of you, too…”

“But don’t you need to rest?”

Jane shook her head again. “Dirk…Jake, you…finish each other. Roxy…let me keep kissing you, but…just a bit lower, dear.”

“…oh, yesss!

Jane felt the slightest twinge of disappointment when Jake slipped out from inside her, but the sight – his cock, hard and twitching, dripping with slick arousal, and soon wrapped up by Dirk’s fingers – was compensation enough. She only saw it for the briefest of moments, though, for soon Roxy was seated upon her chest, scootching upwards until her lower lips were almost flush with Jane’s. Her folds were flared up and pink with arousal, and dripping wet. Jane let her hands reach behind Roxy and take hold of her cheeks, and then she leaned forwards and gave it a lick. The reaction was immediate, Roxy rolling her hips forwards and pushing against Jane’s tongue. Jane pressed onwards, flittering her tongue against Roxy’s pussy, and was met with a sharp gasp of approval. She leaned upwards to give her clit an experimental touch, and again, Roxy’s shaking hips signalled a good job.

“How'd you get so fuckin' – ah! -- fuckin' ace at this...?”

“I'm nowhere near...ace, I am just...well, trying my best down here!” Jane spoke into Roxy's muff. “And apparently it's working!”

“Fffffuck yes it is...” Roxy ground her hips against Jane's mouth, and Jane did her best to keep her tongue running and flicking around. Every now and then she would flick upwards, lapping softly at her clit, and Roxy would shiver with joy. Roxy had one hand down on the bed to steady herself, and rubbed and rolled the other over her own breast, paying close attention to the nipple. She bit down on her lips and moaned out, soft at first but louder and louder as time went on. “Good...goood girl, keep going,” she whispered, but the whispers soon became breathy gasps, and the compliments and encouragement ceded to desperate swears and ragged pleas for more.

“Holy heck of a wow is that a sight...” Jake said from somewhere behind Roxy, and Dirk chimed in with an “Enjoying yourself, Rox?”

Roxy nodded her head and gasped again, digging down into the bedsheets, pushing herself against Jane. “Shit, Jane, gonna...g-gonna...ah!!

Her voice hitched up into a high little squeak as she came, shaking her hips and pulling at the sheets. Jane kept dragging her tongue up along Roxy's lips the entire time, the taste and scent stronger than ever, wetness dripping down onto Jane's tongue. Roxy's orgasm seemed to last for ages as she convulsed and shivered atop Jane, and finally she slipped off of Jane and lay beside her, limp. Her breaths came in ragged gasps, and her body was laced with little beads of sweat.

“How was it?” Jane asked, grinning. She took Roxy's silent, weak nod as a good sign.

“That was absolutely ridiculously hot.” Jake said, an incredulous edge to his voice. He was standing at the foot of the bed, with Dirk behind him; Dirk was sliding between Jake's thighs, his face flushed red and a hint of a grin on his face, and he had Jake's cock wrapped up between his hand, pumping furiously. Jane felt like the sight was enough to give her a case of the vapours...her body itched a little, feeling warm, and she found herself hoping Jake was nearing his orgasm.

“Jake, are you close?” she asked. He nodded his head feverishly.

Quick as a flash, Roxy sat back up. “Ooooh, you're enjoying the show, aren't you? You wanna cum for us?”

Again, he nodded. “That'd be a real humdinger!”

Roxy scooted up to the edge of the bed, kneeling before Jake. She motioned towards Jane. “Well, c'mon Jane! You gotta get some of it on you, too!”

Jane blinked. “It's going to be sticky and gross, isn't it?”

“Well fine, if you wanna leave all his man batter to me, go right ahead!”

Suddenly incensed, Jane pushed forward onto the bed and tried to shove Roxy away. “, he is my partner and I do believe that I have first dibs on his man batter, sticky and gross though it may be!”

“Ladies, please,” Jake admonished, “There's enough English to go around!”

Dirk sighed. “I hope you two aren't expecting me to aim him like a water gun for you.”

“Pump action!” Roxy giggled; Jane did as well, pushing Roxy more playfully this time, glad to be laughing alongside her instead of fighting. The spate of laughter was soon cut off by Jake, grunting out an “Oh, there she blows,” before falling back into Dirk's embrace, hips shaking and body spasming. Jane recoiled as a burst of cum splattered on her cheek, and another dripped down onto her chest. Roxy, too, was spattered with a few shots; Jane found herself giggling again as Roxy tried tasting it and pulled away with a “bluh!”.

Jake smiled, limp in Dirk's arms. “Kicking Christ that was a good show, everyone...” he muttered.

“Not so fast, English. You've forgotten someone.” Dirk said, suddenly forcing Jake forwards.

“Dirk, what're—oohmf!!” Dirk pushed Jake's head down onto the mattress, bending him over the edge of the bed. He rocked his hips back and forth, pushing himself in and out of Jake's thighs, moving quickly. His body was tinged with heat and he grunted with every thrust, and it seemed that he was finally about to finish as well. Jake shouted muffled protests into the bedsheets, apparently concerned he could no longer play the part of a rugged, manly adventurer with his face down and ass up; Dirk was far too busy pumping Jake's thighs to bother with the complaints. After a short while he grunted and climaxed with one last thrust, coating Jake's legs with his sticky cum.

“Hey Jane,” he prompted, and he held up a fist. Grinning, she pounded her fist against his.

“Enjoyed yourself?” she asked as he pulled out, leaving Jake face down and grumbling on the bed.

“Yeah. Lots.”

Jake sat up, staring at the fluid dripping down his legs and frowning. “Well, you didn't have to be so rough about it...”

“Rough's all I ever am around you, bro. Get used to it.”

“Oh, codswallop! What about that time you talked to me about your brother, don't you try and pretend you weren't getting emotional there!”

“You were just reading that into my text messages, I assure you I was still as cool as shit...”

Jane wiped at her cheek, which was starting to feel quite sticky. She rolled off of the bed and made for the washroom. “The two of you can argue amongst yourselves, I am going to go clean this stuff off before it dries.” She stopped right before reaching the exit. “And, um, thank you all. I had a wonderful time!”

Unlike the shower, the soft hiss of the faucet wasn't quite enough to obscure the sound of Jake and Dirk arguing in the other room...but this time, no trace of nervousness lingering in her mind, Jane didn't really care. Her heart and body both were soaring and she found herself anxious to rejoin her friends. She was certain that tonight had been much better with the four of them than it would have been had it been just herself and Jake. Knowing how close she felt to the four of them, she wondered why she'd thought it might not be the case.

How could she have ever doubted such great friends?

Feeling clean and fresh, Jane returned to the room, flicked off the light, and flopped down onto the bed with a satisfied sigh, sprawling out nakedly without even the slightest attempt to cover herself. Their bickering apparently finished, Dirk and Jake joined her, Dirk on her left and Jake on the right. Roxy climbed into the far side of the bed and snuggled up against Jake, grinning. “See, now I told you all that the full sexxors would be so totes better with four people.”

“Issues with the grammar and word usage in that sentence aside...I must admit, I was wrong to believe for an instant you could be mistaken.” Jane could still feel her body tingling, and to agree with Roxy felt more like a victory than a concession.

“Yeah, it was a real blast of a time,” Jake chipped in. “A rowdy adventure of a sort, I guess, that's going to be living in the annals of our own personal history books for a good long time.”

Dirk grunted his agreement. “What he said, but less dorky.”

“Hey I am not a dork, I am suave and dashing and-- oh, frig it. I'm too tired to argue.”

“I think we're all quite tired,” Jane said, “And it is about darn time that we had ourselves a rest.”

She shuffled up against Jake and leaned her head beside his shoulder, letting an arm slip around his for comfort. She heard Roxy do the same for Jake's other arm and shoulder. As though he felt left out, Dirk clambered almost on top of Jane to rest his face between her breasts.

“...what are you doing?”

Dirk's voice was muffled, but Jane heard him fine: “Your boobs are fuckin' fantastic pillows. A man could fall asleep with his face planted firmly inside your heaving bosom...and I plan to.”

“Oh, shoosh, you!”

Dirk responded only with a feeble “Night...” before conking out. Roxy and Jake followed suit soon afterwards, Roxy drooling against Jake's shoulder and Jake snoring softly. Feeling comfortable surrounded by their warmth, and lulled by the sound of their breathing, Jane joined them in their slumber. She wore a smile for the entirety of her rest.



Jane awoke to the sound of running water – somebody was in the shower. Two arms – Dirk’s, not Jake’s, though she didn’t really mind – were wrapped around her stomach from behind, holding her close. The bed was empty except for the two of them, and she did not have to be an expert gumshoe to figure out where her other two friends were. Her suspicions were confirmed not a moment later when a very loud, excited moan of “Ohhhhh, Mr. English~!” echoed into the room. Jane was surprised to find herself free of any tinge of jealousy. Instead she felt only a swelling in her heart, a tingle from somewhere a little bit lower, and a desire to join them in the shower. Sharing Jake with her friends wouldn’t be too bad, she supposed, and she doubted he would have any qualms with it.

She only hoped that Mr. English would have enough stamina...




uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

UU: wonderfUl news! ^u^

UU: today after waiting and wondering for qUite a long while, i was finally afforded the opportUnity to observe firsthand the mating ritUals of the hUmans.

UU: it was an experience beyond enlightening!

UU: bUt it seems that many of my hypotheses were rUbbish dedUctions. u_u;

UU: for example, i was Under the impression from my stUdies that hUmans can only mate in groUps of two.

UU: bUt i know now that they are capable of mating in groUps of foUr, at least!

UU: it was a shocking twist, to be sUre.

UU: in fact, i think a great nUmber of the stories i have written are completely invalidated by this new info!

UU: sUch is the price i pay for viewing their tale one day at a time, i sUppose.

UU: bUt i can deal with that! sorry if i seemed a little grUmpy there. :u

UU: in any case i have attached a copy of the video footage, for yoU to perUse at yoUr leisUre when yoU awaken.

UU: and now i have some things that i absolUtely mUst attend to, so sadly i will probably be gone when yoU retUrn.

UU: toodles!

uranianUmbra [UU] is now an idle cheerer!


undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]