It was agony. The waiting, the praying that everything was going to be ok, the smells of the hospital that burned his nose, the feeling of hot liquid that burned his eyes and trailed heat down his cheeks. How long had he been waiting? How many times had Eli and Tommy come up to him and tried to snap him out of the stupor he appeared to be in?
How many times had the girls come up to try and offer a soft reassurance that he knew was a lie because he could hear it in their tones? He stared blankly at the white wall that was across the room from him, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to drink or sleep.
He was no longer running on adrenaline. No longer running on empty. He wasn’t running on anything at all. He felt nothing at all expect the searing pain clawing deeper into his vitals. The worry, the panic, the out right terror that could be fixed with two simple words.
“He’s stable.” Bloodshot brown eyes glanced up at the doctor as he talked with Kate who was apparently the closest. “But he’s still heavily sedated-“
“Let me see him.” Billy whispered, not even remembering when he had moved across the room from where he was sitting. The doctor frowned, and Billy’s hopes plummeted. He knew that look.
“I can’t let you in. Family Only.”
“I’m his Husband-“
“Not in the state of New York you’re not.” The doctor glared hard at him. “Family only. Until I have deemed him well enough for visitors.” And with that he turned on his heel and walked away. Billy just stared at his back, and he didn’t even realize he was glowing until Kate stepped into his line of vision.
“Bil……Billy……God, Billy stop it!” she yelled just before he released the bolt that had been building in his hand. “I know it’s not fair but killing the doctor right now will not help Teddy.”
Billy’s face hardened as he turned and walked out of the room, ignoring the calls of his teammates. Before he could leave the building, Tommy suddenly cut him off.
“And where the hell do you think you’re going?” Billy didn’t answer, but instead tried to push past Tommy. “Hey, Kaplan, I’m talking to you. The least you can do is look at me.” Tommy’s anger froze when Billy’s eyes met his. Tommy saw the madness, the sorrow, the hate and the fear all warring within the sparking azure eyes.
“I can’t stay here.”
“What about Alt-“
“What’s the damn point of staying here if they won’t let me see him?! If I can’t even look through the freaking window just to see that he’s still alive. That he’s still breathing?!” The words tore from his throat as he glared at his brother, his twin, his teammate.
“Because when he wakes up he will be asking for you.” Tommy snapped, his limited patience snapping for the countless time that day.
“I’m not family. 'Family only'.” He quoted the doctor with distain, the words stinging more now than they had before.
“And since when has that ever stopped you?” Tommy asked. Billy looked over at him for a long moment before he realized what the other was implying. A small sarcastic smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
The room was quiet save for the sounds of the heart monitor and the respirator. Half a dozen tubes were all stemming away from the far too pale skin, but he was comforted by the steady beeps. By the hiss of the respirator. He sat in the chair beside the bed and took Teddy's hand in his own. The skin was colder than usual, but still held a hint of it’s usual warmth.
“…..ee?” Billy’s gaze snapped up to Teddy's face. His eyes were still closed, looking much like he hadn’t said anything at all. But Billy would have heard the soft exhale a mile away.
“I’m here, T. You’re going to be alright.” He smiled, even as his voice shook slightly. It was hard seeing him like this. Harder still to know the reason why he was here in the first place. He leaned down to kiss Teddy’s fingers.
“….I…..o…...” he blinked once, twice before the lids rose to reveal the blue orbs. His pupils were blown from all of the morphine, the blue of the iris barely visible, but there none the less. Billy smiled as he linked their fingers together. “….rid….o ell…..he octr…..t…et….ou…nnn..” Billy’s smile softened.
“Ironman was able to give me full clearance.” His fingers tightened on Teddy's. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you wake.” This caused the corners of the pale lips to twitch slightly.
“……oovvv…ou….” The silence stretched out as his eyes closed and the breathing returned back to the slow pace it had been before. Billy stood leaning to brush his lips against Teddy's forehead before settling in for the long night.
“I love you too, T.”