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I Want To Believe

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The elevator door opened. Emily Prentiss slung the strap to her purse tighter over her shoulder. Emily inhaled, grit her teeth. All her years of training and this is where it got her..

An assignment working in the basement of the FBI.

It wasn’t hard to find her new office. It was the only door in the basement that remotely looked like an office. Emily knocked.

“Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI’s most unwanted.”

Emily grit her teeth again before forcing a polite smile on her face. The office was cluttered, every surface overflowing with stacks upon stacks of files, every surface of the walls were pinned with photos of UFO’s, Bigfoot, a two-headed man, along with scores of random newspaper clippings.

At the far end of the room sat the only usable desk, just as cluttered, but with someone sitting at it, her back to Emily.

“Agent Jareau,” Emily announced, waiting for the woman to turn towards her before extending a hand. “I’m Emily Prentiss, I’ve been assigned to work with you.”

“So,” Agent Jareau smiled, still shaking Emily’s hand. “Who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Prentiss?”

At the moment, Emily Prentiss couldn’t help but wonder the exact same thing.

**

BELLEFLEUR, OREGON

For the first time, in a very long time, Emily Prentiss thought about calling her mother and doing something she hadn‘t done since high school - ask her mother for help.

All Emily had ever wanted was to carve her own path, stand on her own two feet. Without the privilege of her family name, without her mother’s assistance. Everything Emily had done - getting into medical school, earning her doctorate, a teaching job at the academy - what had it gotten her? A desk job in the bowels of the FBI working alongside one "Spooky" Jareau. And now, she was in the middle of Nowhere, Oregon, chasing after phantom UFO’s, stuck in a joke of a motel with no power, ready to take a shower by candlelight.

Emily closed her eyes, exhaling slowly as she pulled off her robe, began removing her underwear when she felt.. something. Something that made her heart skip several beats.

**

Candle in hand, JJ opened the door to her room to see a rain spattered Emily in nothing more than a robe at her step.

“Hi,” JJ half-smiled.

“I need you to look at something,” Emily said, practically barreling through the door before JJ could answer. She stopped in the middle of the room, pulling her robe down off her shoulders, exposing her bare hip to JJ. “What are they?”

JJ lowered, almost kneeling as she brought her candle closer. She brought her fingertips to Emily’s exposed skin. She dared a smile, lifting her eyes and gazing coyly back up at Emily. “You know it’s been awhile since I’ve been alone with a naked woman.”

“This isn‘t funny!” Emily barked. “What is it? What are they?”

“Bites,” JJ chuckled, rising back up to her full height. “Mosquito bites.”

“Are you sure?” Emily didn’t believe. She and JJ were ideologically opposed in every way. But, in the heat of the moment and with everything Emily had seen and experienced, that little niggling doubt had wormed its way through her armor.

“Yeah, I got eaten up a lot myself out there.”

Emily exhaled, turning quickly into JJ and immediately drawing her arms around JJ’s waist as she rested her head onto JJ’s shoulder.

JJ chuckled half-heartedly, bringing her arm around Emily’s shoulders. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Emily mumbled into her shoulder.

“You’re.. you’re shaking.”

The air in the room went quiet, still, replaced with a slowly building tension, because Emily didn’t step out of JJ’s embrace, she couldn’t stop herself from trembling.

Emily lifted her head from JJ’s shoulder, which just seemed to make things worse because now their faces were millimeters apart. It was impulsive, rash, the opposite of everything Emily believed herself to be. But, in that moment, Emily couldn’t help herself.

She kissed JJ. And JJ?

She kissed Emily back.

It was soft, gentle. And Emily felt herself melting, giving in like she hadn’t in a very long time. It was only when she inhaled to take a breath that she snapped to her senses, stiffening in JJ’s embrace, pulling her face back.

“I.. I’m sorry,” she stammered.

JJ smiled softly, stepping back a little. “Don’t be.”

Emily stepped back, increasing the distance between them. Hurriedly, she tightened the belt to her robe. “I don’t know what I was thinking.. I shouldn’t have.. I have to go..”

Quickly, JJ reached out, grasping Emily lightly on the forearm. “Don’t,” she said softly. “Stay. Please.”

**

“I was eight when it happened. My sister was twelve. She just disappeared out of her bed one night. Just gone, vanished. No note, no phone calls, no evidence of anything,” JJ explained from her seat on the floor while Emily laid on the bed, head propped up with a hand. They didn‘t talk about the kiss, which Emily was mostly grateful for. Mostly. Instead, JJ talked about herself, allowing Emily to get to know her new partner better, to understand her. “Tore the family apart. No one would talk about it. There were no facts to confirm, nothing to offer any hope.”

“What did you do?”

“Eventually, I went off to school in England, I came back, got recruited by the Bureau. Seems I had a natural aptitude for applying behavioral models to criminal cases. My success allowed me a certain freedom to pursue my own interests.”

“And that's when you came across the X-Files,” Emily finished.

JJ nodded her head. “Not something they put in the sales pitch. Work your way down to the basement, with no future of a promotion, no support from your superiors, but important enough for them to send someone to spy on you..”

“Jennifer..”

“JJ. My parents call me Jennifer.”

“JJ,” Emily smiled softly, reaching out to touch JJ on the shoulder. “I’m not here to spy on you. I mean it. You can trust me.”

**

ONE WEEK LATER

Emily sat in Section Chief Hotchner’s office, trying desperately not to squirm. It was a repeat of her first meeting with the man, a repeat of when she was first given the assignment to work on the X-Files. There was a third man in Hotchner’s office. He’d never given his name, and Emily knew enough not to ask. He stood in the same position, by a file cabinet, smoking a cigarette.

“What exactly can you substantiate, Agent Scully?” Hotchner continued with his questions, hands clasped together before him. His face a stern mask, like his facial muscles had forgotten to smile. “I see no evidence that justifies the legitimacy of these investigations.”

Emily reached into her pocket. She pulled out a small, glass vial, placing it on Hotchner’s desk. “This is the object described by Billy Miles as a communication device. I removed it from the exhumed body.
I kept it in my pocket, it was the only piece of evidence not destroyed in the fire. I ran a lab test on it, the material could not be identified.”

**

Emily couldn’t sleep. She’d never looked forward to having a weekend off more, a weekend away from work, her superiors, Agent Jareau. But, now that the weekend was here, and she was alone in her apartment with nothing but her thoughts, the memories of her recent experiences, Emily found she couldn’t sleep.

Not even the rain, softly pounding a rhythm on her bedroom window, or the half bottle of wine she consumed before, during and after dinner was enough to lull her to sleep. She tossed and turned, flipped and flopped on the mattress, until the sheets pulled from the corners, tangling around her legs. Until she couldn’t take it anymore, tossing the sheets and rising to a frustrated seated position. She glanced at the clock, watching the time change from 11:21 to 11:22.

A knock at her front door stirred Emily from her thoughts.

She rose, grabbing a robe and wrapping it around her before making her way to the front of her apartment.

Another knock.

Grasping the doorknob, Emily paused just enough to think about grabbing her gun.

“Hello?” she called out.

“Prentiss? It's me,” JJ answered and, without questioning, Emily jerked open the door. She had to blink at the sight before her, JJ soaked from head to toe, hair plastered to her scalp.

“I haven't been able to sleep,” she explained as stepped aside and JJ entered Emily’s home. “I talked to the D.A.'s office in Raymond County, Oregon. There's no case file on Billy Miles. The paperwork we filed is gone.” She threw up her hands in exasperation, palms slapping against her thighs.

Emily seemed to have gone into nurturing mode, not that nurture was something she’d learned from her mother, going into the bathroom and grabbing a stack of towels. She returned to the living room, placing a towel on JJ’s head before working to remove JJ’s coat. “How’d you get here?”

“Did you hear me? It’s gone. It’s all gone.”

“I heard you. And it’s nothing that can’t be dealt with in the morning. Which won’t happen if you die from pneumonia.”

“You’re a doctor, Prentiss,” JJ managed to smile. “You of all people should know it doesn’t work like that.”

“True. But I also know walking around for hours in the rain doesn’t help.”

JJ quieted, glancing around Emily’s apartment while Emily continued rubbing her shoulders with the towel. “Where’s your fiancee?”

“Oh..” Emily stopped. “Ex, actually.”

“Is that why you kissed me?”

“If we’re going to be partners, we’re really going to have to work on your trust issues.”

“Then tell me why you kissed me.”

Emily didn’t know what to say. How could she explain something she didn’t understand herself? A week ago, life seemed to be going good for Emily. She had the job, a fast track to a promotion. The boyfriend. And though she would never admit it was something she wanted, the begrudging approval of her mother. Then, with the stroke of her name on a piece of paper by people in places she never knew existed, it all changed. The bottom fell out and Emily found herself falling into an alien place, with a partner who challenged Emily in ways no one ever had before. How was she supposed to explain all that? How someone she’d known for less than a week made her feel things, touched something deep within her, a place she didn’t even realize existed.

It was JJ who answered, cupping Emily’s jaw with her hand, bringing their lips together. Instantly, Emily stepped into her, opening her mouth to deepen the kiss, brushing her tongue across JJ’s lips, her teeth as JJ acquiesced.

Then it was that familiar dance of connected mouths, hands fumbling to shed the other of clothing as Emily led JJ into the bedroom.

JJ was cold and hot, steam wafting off her skin, like lava seeping under water. She pressed Emily down onto the mattress, pinning her with her mouth so her hands could roam. Emily could only moan, groan, let out a little whimper when JJ’s lips found that spot on her neck, as her nails teasingly grazed the inside of Emily’s thigh. If cognitive thought were possible, she’d ask where JJ learned to do that thing with her lips and tongue, turning Emily’s nipple into the ultimate erogenous zone.

“Jennifer,” she hissed, fingers tangling in JJ’s hair, nails scraping against her scalp.

JJ lifted her head, releasing Emily’s nipple with a wet pop. “JJ,” she grinned the correction before dipping her head back down, making a slippery, slithering trail down Emily’s stomach.

“Fuck..” was all Emily could manage, as JJ muscled Emily’s thighs open and took a long, flat-tongued swipe of Emily’s pussy. Then, she taunted, teased, exploring every inch of Emily’s flesh, leaving nothing untasted. And it took everything Emily had not to dig her nails even harder into JJ’s scalp, thrust her hips forward and onto that glorious tongue.

Sensing Emily’s need, JJ relented, wrapping her tongue around Emily’s clit, gently pushing two fingers into her cunt. Emily’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, both hands finding purchase on JJ’s head, as she rolled her hips in time with the thrusting of JJ’s fingers, exhaling whimpering little moans with every little push.

Then, JJ moaned, a possessive, growling sound that reverberated *everywhere*, combined with the slight curl of her fingers sent Emily over the edge. Her throat seized, cutting off her scream as every muscle in her body seemed to clench then spasm all at once. Then she was all livewire on wet ground writhing, every synapse exploding in ecstasy.

Nothing but a panting, boneless mass of flesh on the bed, Emily didn’t realize JJ had moved until she felt JJ’s lips against her own, the taste of her own sex on JJ’s tongue. Heady, intoxicating, Emily moaned into the kiss, feeling JJ’s body moving over her own, JJ’s hand under Emily’s knee and lifting. It took a moment for Emily to realize what JJ was doing, moving them both into a new position. Then, she felt JJ’s pussy against her own, hot and wet and slippery, and Emily’s mouth went slack as JJ’s hips began to roll.

It’d been awhile since Emily had done *that*. She groaned like she’d forgotten how good it felt, to feel another woman’s sex against her own, clasping her hand around the back of JJ’s neck and pulling her in for a deep and hungry kiss.

JJ’s hips rolled with a frenzied, chaotic pace, a truck with no brakes going down a steep hill, all either could do was brace for impact. Emily watched in wonderment. At the way JJ squeezed her eyes shut, the way her mouth went slack and her face twitched, like she couldn’t quite match the physical sensation with the expression. Then, she squeezed her eyes tighter, and even that couldn’t stop the little beads of moisture from leaking through. The little beads that turned into tears, as she exorcised one of her many demons.

A tear broke through the tightly held barrier. After that, everything came in a rush. She bucked, spasmed. Throat seizing around her moan, turning it into a choking sob. The spasms turned into full bodied trembles. JJ exhaled a pained whimper, like something had broken within her and she couldn’t stop herself from letting whatever she’d kept bottled inside from spilling out. She collapsed atop Emily, sobbing and shaking.

“Shhh,” Emily cooed softly, wrapping her arms tightly around JJ, stroking the back of her head. “I’ve got you now.”

**

Neither slept, not really. JJ’s tears subsided into silence as Emily held her. Eventually, she rolled onto her back, Emily rolling with her, resting her head on JJ’s chest, content to listen to JJ’s heart and the rain.

“You’re my fifth partner in a year,” JJ almost whispered. Emily lifted her head to gaze down at JJ, as JJ continued staring at the ceiling. “If you leave,” she said, turning her eyes to Emily’s. “I’ll understand.”

Emily felt her heart squeeze. Something so beautiful shouldn’t be so broken. She understood, probably more than anyone else did in a very long time, what lay at the heart of JJ’s trust issues. It wasn’t Emily’s job to fix JJ, but how could she turn away now? After this?

Assigning Emily to the X-Files was meant to be a punishment, possibly a way to force Emily out of the FBI. Why and by whom? Emily could always find out later. Right now, there were more important things.

“Jennifer..” She immediately placed her fingertips to JJ’s lips, silencing her protest. “What makes you think I’m leaving?”

They were diametrically opposed, in so many ways. JJ believed in things Emily didn’t, vice versa. But, as Emily brought her lips to JJ’s and JJ arched into her touch, Emily..

Began to believe.

END