Shannon isn't stupid. Which is why, when he looks at Matt and thinks - for the first time - that Matt is really quite hot, he doesn't immediately question his sanity. There's a possibility he's just taken too many shots to the head and the symptoms are manifesting in a very strange way. It could also be that he's drunk. That's always a good sign that things aren't right.
Of course, he's watching Matt sing and still thinks Matt is hot stuff. And even Shannon isn't sure that alcohol is that good, but, he supposes, if it isn't the alcohol, then it's something else. And it could be a concussion, but Shannon's had a few of those and it doesn't feel like his brain is surrounded by wool. Also, there's not a headache in sight, so maybe his theory of brain damage is off the cards to.
And, if both alcohol and the possibility of a concussion are non-factors, that means there's another reason Shannon suddenly sees the attraction of Matt. And really, Shannon's not sure he can spare the brain power it'll take to figure out what that reason is. So mostly, he doesn't.
Besides, it's his go on the karaoke machine and man, he's totally going to put Chad Kroeger to shame with his fucking awesome singing.
"I think I have a crush on Matt."
It's not the best opening line, especially since this is the first time Shannon's seen Jeff in two weeks, and confessing to your best friend that you may have a crush on his older brother - the guy responsible for more of your collective issues than anything or one in the whole world ever - is the one thing that could test your friendship severely.
"You poor bastard," is all Jeff says in response, so Shannon figures their friendship is way stronger than he gave it credit for. And he gave it a lot of credit.
Shannon nods and somehow it makes him feel better that Jeff isn't freaking out and that, for the most part, he sympathises with Shannon's plight. But then, if Shannon thinks about it, he's not really that surprised. After all, if anyone knows how much of a fucking tool Matt is, it's Jeff.
"When did you find out?" Jeff asks.
"The Christmas bash. You guys were both singing, and, well..." Shannon trails off because really, what is he going to say? It wasn't like Matt was at his best that night. And god knows the silly fucker can't sing for shit. He's got about as much talent as a concussed house brick and that's not an attractive feature. No matter what Matt says.
Plus, Shannon's fairly certain that he liked Matt before then, and the moment at the bash was just something in his head finally clicking into place.
"Dude," Jeff says. "He threw up all over his floor that night and woke up in a puddle of his own piss."
Jeff says it like it's a test. Like telling Shannon all the disgusting things Matt has done will turn Shannon off somehow, and man, Shannon wishes it would work. It doesn't, of course, because Shannon knows all the disgusting things Matt has done (hell, he was present for most of them), and he likes Matt anyway. Shannon nods again and feels his shoulders dropping in defeat.
Jeff lets out a low whistle between his teeth. "Man," he says.
And that kind of sums up Shannon's whole situation, because seriously, man.
It's Tuesday night and Shannon is smoking weed. Which, okay, he probably shouldn't be doing, because Vince is still on his wellness policy trip, but Jeff's there and so is Montel and Jamal, and Shannon is safe in the knowledge that if one of them gets fined, they'll all get fined.
Anyway, Jamal hooked them up with the good shit and man, Shannon really doesn't care about the wellness policy right now. So fuck Vinnie Mac.
They've been smoking happily for a few hours and Shannon is buzzed and pleased and he's counting the cracks on the ceiling and everything is just awesome.
"Shannon has a crush on Matt."
Or at least it was. Because that was totally Jeff's voice and Shannon kind of hopes that it came from inside his head, but Montel chokes on the hit he's just taken and when he stops coughing, he starts laughing so hard that Shannon hopes he breaks a rib. Bastard.
"Fucker," Shannon says to Jeff, because man, the traitorous little shit just sold him out and really, Shannon didn't want the whole damn world knowing he's a little fucked in the head.
Montel is starting to go a funny colour and he's not making sounds any more, but his shoulders are shaking which means he's still laughing and Shannon is going to kick his ass when he can be bothered to move.
"Sorry, dude," Jeff says, in a tone that doesn't sound sorry at all.
"Fucker," Shannon repeats.
Jamal isn't laughing and Shannon wants to tell him that he kind of loves him, but Jamal has had more weed than Shannon and Shannon thinks that if he starts declaring love for anyone this early in the night then it's probably not a good idea for it to be Jamal. The last time Shannon did that, Jamal actually scooped him up into a hug like Shannon was a fucking child and the big fucker wouldn't leave him alone for the rest of the night. And being petted like a cat by a big Samoan who could probably eat you whole isn't as nice as it sounds.
Jamal is scary when he's affectionate.
Anyway, it's not like Shannon asked to have a crush on Matt. God knows he's got better people to be crushing on. Like that one guy from that TV show. Or the lighting guy with the tight ass that Shannon has totally tapped. Or that sweet little office girl with the fantastic rack. Or hell, even Morrison would be better than Matt.
"I don't know," says Jamal. "Morrison's a bit of a queen."
And okay. Shannon hadn't actually been aware he'd said that out loud, but whatever. It's not like anyone cares. And Morrison is a bit of a queen. He's got a nice ass though and if he wasn't such a high maintenance bitch, Shannon would have already been there. More than once.
Still, now that his problem is out there, Shannon feels that he may as well bring these fuckers in on it. It's only fair, since Jeff sold him out and Montel won't stop laughing. Fucker.
"I don't know why I like him, man," Shannon says. "Matt's kind of a prick."
"That's true," Jeff says, and Shannon feels a little better that Jeff is agreeing with him. Not that it would have made much of a difference if Jeff didn't, mind, because Jeff is fair game now that he broke the code and sold Shannon out.
Shannon thinks he should hit Jeff. And maybe kick Montel off the bed because the bastard is still laughing, and they both totally deserve some sort of violence anyway, but truthfully, Shannon can't be fucked, so he takes the joint from Jeff's loose hand and has another hit.
Ten minutes later, Montel has stopped laughing and they're all sort of sprawled on the bed. Which is impressive, because it's only a single and none of them are exactly small, but they've all managed to arrange themselves so a joint is always within easy reach, and that's totally awesome as far as Shannon is concerned. Also, it's kind of nice to be piled on the bed and not really sure where he ends and the others begin. It's got an odd sense of comfort that Shannon really sort of loves and that's totally fine with him.
"Y'know what I think it is?" Montel says, passing a joint to Jeff over Shannon's head.
"What?" says Jeff.
"I think it's because he makes you feel protected."
Shannon's slightly confused at that because he has no idea what conversation they're starting up again and he can't think much about it because Jeff is nudging him in the side with his elbow and his left foot has gone to sleep because Jamal is lying on it, the fat bastard.
"Huh?" Shannon says.
"Your crush on Matt."
"Look. Can we stop calling it a crush?" Shannon says suddenly. "It makes me feel like I'm fourteen and this whole situation is bad enough without feeling like I should be watching my back in case the silly fucker I'm lusting after tries to run my head into a tree. Again."
Montel shrugs and Jeff starts laughing and the movement from both creates a weird sort of ripple effect on them all. "Whatever, man. All I'm saying is that that's probably why you like him."
"But Matt's not a protector. He's a cunt."
And y'know, Jeff's got a point. When the fucker isn't laughing at Shannon's misfortune.
"Well, yes," Montel concedes. "But that doesn't make it any less true. You like Matt because you know he'll take care of you."
There's a pause while Shannon takes this in. "Y'know, that wouldn't sound half bad if I didn't have a dick."
Jamal lets out a bark of laughter at that and though Shannon can't see him, he knows Jeff is smiling too.
"Nah, man, listen," Montel says and takes the joint that Jamal is waving around. He takes a hit and when he exhales, Shannon watches the smoke billow out towards the ceiling. "Matt's a prick, right? An arrogant bastard. But you're still his."
Again, Shannon thinks about it, but shakes his head. "I'm not his property, dude."
"Yeah," Jeff pipes up. "If he was, he'd probably have Matt's name tattooed on him or something. Matt's a dick like that."
Shannon nods his agreement, but Montel is shaking his head and lifting himself up onto one elbow, which should upend one of them, but doesn't.
"You're not listening to what I'm saying," he says. "You don't belong to Matt like a house or a car, you belong to him like... like..."
"Like a pack member," Jamal says.
"Yeah!" says Montel. "You're a member of his pack which means you're his responsibility."
"And that's why I like him?" Shannon asks.
"Yeah," Montel says, like it makes sense, and Shannon is glad that one of them understands what the fuck Montel is talking about, because Shannon certainly doesn't. So he lies still and silent and Montel nods his head like Shannon agrees with him and slumps back back down, settles into their cosy nest and leaves Shannon only slightly more confused than when they started the conversation.
Shannon thinks for a few more moments then says, "Wait. If what you just said is true, then why have I only just started thinking Matt is hot shit? Why didn't I think of it before now? I've known the guy for years."
"Denial," Jamal says, taking the joint from Montel's unresisting hand.
Shannon is about to answer, but Jeff shifts and moves and says, "Dude, shotgun," just before he leans over and blows smoke into Shannon's mouth. Shannon inhales and feels the buzz almost instantly. It's pleasant and awesome all at the same time and he finds himself following Jeff's mouth when Jeff pulls away.
Shannon puffs out smoke to the sound of Montel laughing. "Man," Montel says. "Maybe you shouldn't do that any more, Jeff. From what I've seen, Matt doesn't like sharing his bitches."
"Fucker," Shannon says, elbowing Montel hard in the stomach and kneeing him in what he hopes is the balls because really, it's about time some violence was had against that bastard. Montel's breath whooshes out of his lungs, and then he flails because he's near the edge of the bed and Shannon hadn't really given a thought to the consequences of moving their happy little pile. He has a second to think that maybe he should have just kept still before Montel is tipping over and grabbing at him for balance, which doesn't really work because Shannon is about as grounded as a feather and they both end up in a heap on the floor.
When everything stills, Montel groans and Shannon is fairly certain that some part of him is broken. Only he doesn't really get the chance to check the inventory, because Jeff's head floats into view over the side of the bed.
"Dude," he says, mouth twisting into a wide grin and Shannon recognises that look. He's already bracing himself for the impact even as Jeff's body flies off the bed and lands on both him and Montel. Shannon lets out the manliest whimper he can manage and tries to field the sudden stray blows from Montel that are aimed at Jeff's head. Montel is swearing loudly and Jeff's laughter is sending vibrations through Shannon's body. The whole thing would be kind of hot if Shannon wasn't in so much pain.
Then Jamal's face appears and he's wearing the same kind of smile that Jeff wore. He shouts something in Samoan and Jeff says, "Oh fuck," at the same time Montel says,"Oh hell no," and then Jamal is in the air and just for a second, Shannon thinks that this whole thing he has for Matt really isn't going to matter.
Shannon is going to be squashed flat at the bottom of a dogpile that's about to be hit by three hundred plus pounds of crazy Samoan bastard. And Shannon's fairly certain that in spite of his huge list of faults, Matt isn't into necrophilia.
Shannon starts watching Matt because there's not much else for him to do. They're travelling together, after all. Jeff is there, what with the whole draft thing, except Shannon kind of wishes the silly fucker would just go away. Not because Shannon wants some alone time with Matt (god no), but because every time Jeff catches him looking at Matt, he starts singing Every Breath You Take and really, if Shannon has to hear Jeff mangle that song again, Shannon is going to choke a bitch.
Matt has no idea what's going on, and that's fine with Shannon. Though if Jeff keeps it up, Matt is going to start asking questions and if he doesn't get the right answers, he'll start causing pain until he's told the truth. Shannon knows how the silly fucker operates.
They're in the car, heading for the next house show. Jeff has been humming the song for the last ten miles and Shannon wants to kick him in the back of the head. And even though random violence won't phase Matt, it will at least make him curious and really, Shannon isn't in the mood for answering questions. Actually, he's not in the mood for much of anything.
Miz, the stupid fuck, botched a move and now Shannon's back is hurting like a motherfucker. This has done nothing for Shannon's mood and he's annoyed.
He's trying to get comfortable, shifting and moving on the seat, when Matt announces that they're pulling over. There's no explanation as to why and Shannon doesn't really care. He's been trying to ease the pain for a while but it's a lost cause. And anyway, he could probably do with the movement. The last thing he needs is for his back to seize up.
When the car rolls to a stop, Shannon straightens up with the minimum of wincing and climbs out. He stands and stretches his back as much as he dares before letting himself slump back into a comfortable stance. Matt shuts his door on the way past and Shannon shrugs before walking towards the godawful diner at the side of the road. Matt heads off to the bathroom and Jeff falls into step beside Shannon.
"How's the back?" Jeff asks.
"If you think that pathetic show of concern is going to save you from an ass kickin' when I'm feeling better, you're very much mistaken."
Jeff doesn't bother to hide his grin. "Man, that song is awesome. You're like Matt's new number one fan." Jeff pauses, frowns and then amends, "Well, his number two. I don't think anyone can fanboy Matt as much as he fanboys himself."
"Fuck off," Shannon says, but it's only half heartedly and without any real heat because Jeff kind of has a point. Shannon has been watching Matt a little too much. But to be fair, it's only because he's trying to see what the fuck Montel was trying to get at during their Weed Session of Doom. A session that still makes Shannon a little twitchy. He's going to have to train himself very very hard to take another splash from Umaga without seeing Jamal's smiling face and impending death coming at him.
They reach the diner and head inside, find a booth at the back and slip into the window seats, facing each other. Matt is still in the bathroom, so when the waitress comes to take their order, Jeff gets them all black coffees and three large orders of burger and fries.
Shannon raises an eyebrow at him, but Jeff shrugs. "You know I don't do that healthy eating or workout bullshit. Besides, some honest grease to clog the arteries is good for you."
"Whatever, man," Shannon says, leaning back against the chair rest and trying to work the kinks out of his back. "But when Matt starts bitching at you, don't complain to me. I'll only encourage him to brain you."
Jeff grins again and says, "So. Speaking of Matt..." he trails off and Shannon waits because he's heard that tone from Jeff before. It's a tone that says whatever is about to fall out of Jeff's mouth, Shannon is not going to like. It says that no matter how observant Shannon has been, Jeff has spotted something Shannon hasn't and now he's going to let Shannon in on the secret. And mostly, it says that Jeff thinks Shannon's whole situation is very, very amusing. Fucker. "You've been watching him, right?"
"Yeah..." Shannon says.
"So have you noticed anything?"
"Outside of him being more of a pain in the ass then usual? No, not really," Shannon says, but he's waiting for it. There's something he hasn't noticed and Jeff is going to tell him what it is.
"You haven't noticed anything at all?"
“Not a thing?"
"Man," Jeff says. "Are you sure you're even watching him? 'Cause dude, I've seen quite a lot."
There's a smug smile starting to spread across Jeff's face and Shannon has to fight the intense urge to smash his head into the tabletop. Luckily for Jeff, the door of the diner opens and Matt appears, stopping any acts of violence Shannon might talk himself into. Jeff turns in his seat at the noise and waves his arm to get Matt's attention before turning around to Shannon again.
"Watch," Jeff whispers quickly and then Matt is there, sliding into the empty chair beside Shannon.
Shannon frowns at Jeff, but Jeff just smiles in a way that does nothing to quell the urge to see blood. Then, before Matt can speak, the waitress brings their coffee and Shannon forgets everything in favour of the orgasmic feeling of his first coffee in over six hours.
After that, things pretty much go the way Shannon expects them to. Their food arrives and Matt bitches about it, but he's already handing Shannon the bottle of ketchup before Shannon asks for it. And when Shannon takes the top off his burger and sees the tomatoes, Matt is picking them off before Shannon can ask if he wants them. He gives Shannon salt for his fries and Shannon can feel Matt's thigh pressing against his, but that's nothing unusual. Matt's always been sketchy when it comes to personal space.
So really, Matt's not doing anything he hasn't done a hundred times before and the only way Shannon can tell that he's missing something important is because Jeff keeps smiling at him.
It's three days before Shannon realises that Jeff never actually told him what he'd learned by watching Matt. Pretty much after they'd finished eating, they'd left and Shannon had stretched out in the back seat and caught some sleep, which had been fairly surprising, considering the coffee he'd had.
Shannon is still watching Matt though, more closely than he was before, and he still can't see what Jeff was talking about now any more than he could when Jeff first opened his mouth and allowed all that bullshit to fall out. In fact, after spending what feels like the last ever watching Matt, the only thing Shannon has noticed is that Matt's as much a pain in the ass as he's ever been and that Shannon may be developing an unhealthy fixation with Matt's shoulders.
Partly because they're nice and broad and Shannon has always been in favour of that, but mostly because if he's looking at Matt's back, then he won't have to look at his face.
And Shannon loves the guy (though not like that. Because if he did Shannon may have to kill himself), but the more he looks directly at Matt, the more he kind of wants to kiss him and really, a crush Shannon can handle, but actual lip contact is scarily close to making things real and, well, no.
Just because Matt is still featuring heavily in Shannon's jerk-off fantasies doesn't mean Shannon has to go and complicate things by trying to kiss him. Besides, the silly fucker has strange lips and Shannon doesn't want to catch the dumb. He's got enough of his own to deal with.
Everything goes horribly, horribly wrong when Shannon is out signing a few autographs with Matt and Jeff after a show.
A small group of fans have stuck around and as soon as Jeff steps outside, all of them start shouting his name. Shannon, for the most part, is unimpressed. He's tired and sore and he really just wants to get back to the hotel, but Jeff is apparently feeling particularly annoying because he elbows Shannon in the ribs and points to the small group of women.
"Hey," he says, throwing his bags into the trunk Matt has open, sending the fans a wave that makes them shriek loudly. "Do you think if I ask them nicely they'll get their tits out?"
"Man, it's times like these I wish Beth would throw a bitchfit if I told her about the shit you do on the road," Shannon tells him.
Jeff grins. "I have the best girl in the world."
"And it's a wonder she puts up with you at all," Matt says, slamming the trunk closed and turning to head off to the fans, even though they're mostly shouting for Jeff. Shannon follows, as does Jeff, and soon they're all preoccupied with signing autographs. Shannon tries not to wince every time one of the girls lets out a small squeak of excitement when Jeff answers a question.
After dutifully signing the last piece of paper that is thrust under his nose, Shannon looks around and sees that the girls are mostly talking to Jeff and Matt, so he steps back a few paces, happy to let them have some time with their idols while he goes partially unnoticed.
And that's when disaster strikes. He's dug his phone out for something to do and is half way through texting a rather unflattering message to Shane when an almighty crash happens somewhere out of eyesight.
Shannon has a second to think that it's probably some of the set falling off a truck. Some part of the titantron is most likely on the floor and a bunch of guys are standing around looking at the mess ready to swear on their life that they had nothing to do with it.
The thoughts flash through his head in the time it takes to draw a breath and then he's a little preoccupied with the sudden arrival of a woman in his arms. He doesn't know how it happens, but there's the crash, a scream, and suddenly Shannon is being clung at by a woman with a set of tits on her that can't possibly be real.
He can feel her fingernails clutching at him through his t-shirt and he belatedly realises that his hands have come to rest on her hips. The woman sees this as an invitation to press closer to him and Shannon lets out a puff of air that's halfway between 'huh' and 'um', because this girl? So not his type. He prefers his women a little less marinated in perfume and wearing make-up that doesn't have to be removed with a trowel.
Besides, there's that whole thing with Matt to consider...
Actually, fuck that. Shannon deserves some pussy after the last few weeks he's had.
He's just about to smile at her and move his hand from her hip to the small of her back where he'll push his luck and try to cop a feel, when she's removed from their embrace. By Matt. He tugs at her shoulder and moves until he's standing between Shannon and his first sniff of pussy in over a month.
Shannon frowns, because man, that shit is just not on. He takes a breath to tell Matt that he's got this one, really, when Matt says, "We have to go now."
For a moment, Shannon thinks Matt is talking to him - and he's about to hiss something along the lines of dude, you're totally cockblocking me - when he sees the look on the woman's face and it dawns on him that Matt is talking to her. Not just talking, actually. Matt's warning her and something clicks in Shannon's brain that sets off an unsettling series of events that involve a lot of pennies dropping and dominoes falling.
Matt stares the poor girl down until she goes away and Shannon wants to say man, chill out. No one deserves that kind of treatment, but he can't seem to form words because his brain is trying to comprehend something incomprehensible. And besides, Matt is walking back to the car like he hasn't noticed Shannon's embolism.
Fortunately for Shannon, Jeff has noticed. Unfortunately for Shannon, Jeff decides to comment on it.
"See? This is what I was talking about. The stupid fucker is all jealous of you being with someone else. Your big gay love is all ready and waiting for one of you to stop dicking around and fuck the other."
Shannon, because he's a rational guy and now has control of an arm, punches Jeff in the stomach.
"So. Still have a crush on Matt?"
If this is the way Montel is going to greet him from now on, Shannon really has to start including more violence in his daily interaction with his colleagues.
"Ah. I'll take that as a yes," Montel grins and really, it's unfair. Not least because every time Shannon hears the word crush, he wants to shoot himself in the face for sounding like a fourteen year old girl, but also because it's not really a crush if Matt likes him back.
It's a relationship waiting to happen. And Jesus, okay. He's going to shoot himself in the face anyway for even thinking that.
Here's the thing. It's not that Shannon would object to a relationship, as such, it's having one with Matt that makes him supremely uncomfortable. Finding out he has a crush on the guy is bad enough, but there's no way Shannon can date him. He drives Shannon up the damn wall with his control freakishness and always needing to be in charge. Like being the oldest gives him carte blanche over everything else. So really, it's going to take more than a nice ass and a little bit of reciprocation to make Shannon cave.
Which is how he finds himself walking into Matt's house with determination at nine-thirty on a Friday morning.
He has a plan. It mostly involves a long list of reasons why Shannon cannot, in any way, shape or form, start a relationship with Matt. But it will also state that Shannon can and will concede to having sex with Matt because he, Shannon, is awesome. He's spent the whole drive over thinking about it and he's even thought of some witty little comments to throw in there so Matt won't feel like he's being kicked to the curb (which he totally is). It's a rather fantastic speech, all in all.
Shannon strides through Matt's living room and heads for the kitchen where he finds Matt, bleary eyed and eating cereal. His hair looks awful and Shannon is pleased to note that Matt's bedhead is neither cute nor endearing. Instead, it's stupid and kind of ugly and Shannon wants to make a comment about the considerable lack of hair on Matt's head now, compared to, say, when Matt was twenty-two.
"Hey, man," Matt says, voice still a little rough with sleep, and suddenly Shannon's well-thought speech disappears. Which only leaves him with one option, really.
"You bastard," he says. "You fucking motherfucker."
Matt pauses with a spoonful of cornflakes halfway to his mouth and blinks.
Shannon has never wanted to punch someone more.
"Uh," says Matt.
"Don't bother, dude," Shannon says, waving his arm. "Jeff told me that you think I'm hot shit." Shannon pauses for a very short second and then goes on. "Well, actually, he didn't tell me, but he hinted and kept annoying the fuck out of me until I realised it and now he's being all smug, and I've gotta tell you, that just ain't right. Have you ever tried being around Jeff when he's smug? I want to kill the bastard."
Matt carefully puts his bowl of cereal down and to Shannon, it's like the first volley in a war. And he honestly doesn't know if letting Matt speak would be good or bad right now. Not because Shannon thinks that Matt would talk him around to anything. Matt's not exactly the kind of guy to do stuff like that. He's got the emotional spectrum of a tree and Shannon knows full well that when Matt likes someone, his only thought process is 'must fuck'. Which begs the question: why hasn't Shannon gotten a piece of ass?
So no, Shannon isn't afraid of a deep and meaningful conversation coming his way. The only thing that will come of Matt talking will be complete reinforcement of Shannon's current frame of mind, which can be summed up in three words: fight or fuck.
Because though Matt looks stupid with his bedhead and distressing lack of hair, his voice is hovering around that rough scratchy tone that Shannon has incorporated into his jerk-off fantasies, and probably the only thing that's stopping Shannon from saying, ah, fuck it and throwing caution to the wind is the fact that it would be Matt he would be getting sweaty with.
And that's pretty much where the fight side of things comes into it. Shannon's only form of defence against Matt for as long as he can remember has been a well placed blow and about two minutes head start. So far, it's worked fairly well, as defences go. Especially if Shannon is somewhere high, because Matt's legs are stupid and climbing is always fraught with disaster for him.
"Jeff told you," is all Matt says after a lengthy pause.
"No, man, weren't you listening? Jeff hinted at it. But that was only after I told him that I like you and instead of trying to help me out, the stupid motherfucker went and told Montel and Jamal and now everyone thinks it's funny that I have a crush on a control freak with a receding hairline and stupid legs."
After another pause where Shannon sucks in a huge breath and generally curses his complete lack of control over his own mouth, Matt says, "Y'know, despite your little revelation, I just want to remind you that I'm sitting at a counter with a thirty pound cross on it, and I have no problem picking it up and hurling it at your head if you keep pushing your luck."
That right there is the second volley and really, this shit just isn't on. If anyone is going to commit any kind of violence, it's going to be Shannon. He didn't ask for all this crap to be dropped at his feet. Suddenly finding yourself attracted to a guy you've known since you were eight is a lot to handle and if the stupid bastard in question has the nerve to threaten you... well. All bets are off.
Shannon is going to kick his ass.
And then he's going to run away very fast and hide on his roof until Matt gets bored and leaves him alone.
But the first step towards that eventuality is to get right up in Matt's face, which is exactly what Shannon does. He moves until he's toe to toe with Matt (who's stood up), and this is even more unfair because Matt has four inches on Shannon and it's difficult to stare someone down when you have to look up at them. Still, Shannon tries. He's pissed and angry and probably a little bit suicidal, but hey. At least he'll go down fighting, right?
Except that when he's there, up close and personal, body thrumming with energy and oh so very close to Matt's, something in his head takes over and he really does mutter, "Ah, fuck it," before he reaches out, grabs a handful of that stupid fucking hair and kisses Matt.
It's not the best kiss in the world. Their teeth clash together painfully, and Shannon is fairly certain that his lip is in severe danger of splitting. Matt's nose is sort of digging into his cheek and his own nose is getting rather squashed, but none of that really matters. What matters is the small oof of surprise Matt lets out which Shannon totally takes as a victory; and the way Matt's hands rest on Shannon's shoulders at first, like he's ready to push Shannon away, but when the kiss softens slightly so Shannon's no longer in danger of coming away bloody, they move until they're resting on Shannon's hips where they seem quite comfortable.
Matt's tongue shoves its way into Shannon's mouth and Shannon greets it happily because man, he's a fucking excellent kisser and he's going to make sure Matt damn well knows it. In fact, he's just about to pull out all the stops when a voice says, "I honestly don't know if that's deeply disturbing or incredibly hot."
Shannon has no idea who the interloper is and he doesn't really get much of a chance to find out because before the sentence is even fully spoken, Matt shoves him away like Shannon is a dirty mouth raper. He hits a stool, unbalances and falls on his ass. Above him, Matt says (with all the innocence of a fox surrounded by chicken feathers), "Uh, hey Beth. I didn't hear you come in."
Shannon, for his part, groans.
"Obviously," Beth says, and Shannon can hear the smile in her voice as her hand comes into view and waves at him. "Hey Shannon." Shannon groans again in answer and Beth goes on, "Anyway, I just came down to grab an apple before I go to work." Shannon hears the fridge door opening and closing and then Beth says, "Y'all have fun. Bye!"
And then she's gone, and Shannon thinks he may have aggravated his spine because he appears to be in pain. Gingerly, he climbs to his feet and once he makes sure that his body isn't going to fall apart, he turns to look at Matt. "Dude, what the fuck did you do that for?"
Matt pauses. "Uh. It seemed like a good idea at the time?"
After a moments thought to consider the consequences, Shannon grabs Matt's discarded bowl of cereal and flings it at his head.
Jeff is waving goodbye to Beth after, Shannon assumes, Beth told him the sordid little tale about finding Shannon and Matt necking in the kitchen.
So when Jeff turns from watching Beth's car disappear down the driveway and catches sight of Shannon, he smiles. Shannon, who is slightly more occupied with running away from Matt at full speed, doesn't even spare him a scowl. That whole bowl flinging idea didn't really go over too well. Matt sort of wants to kill him now, but Shannon still thinks it was totally worth it.
However, just as Shannon reaches Jeff, he thinks that he should give Jeff something for opening his eyes to Matt's feelings for him. So Shannon dutifully holds out his arm and clotheslines the ever living fuck out of Jeff as he flies past.
That'll teach the stupid bastard.
And as soon as Matt isn't trying to kill him any more, and they eventually get around to the sex part, Shannon might even buy Jeff a beer as an apology. But for now, he concentrates on running.