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The three adamantium blades pierced through his flesh and into hers, severing the Phoenix's hold upon Jean. Logan's claws killing her, saving her.
He meant what he said. He would die for her and only her and yet, she had to die for him and everyone else. It was a cruel sort of irony.
While her alter ego trapped Jean in her own mind, she realised that she wasn't supposed to be there. She died at Alkali Lake but part of her was saved by the full extent of her powers. Powers she didn't even know she was capable of. In the past few days, she had done, discovered and dealt with terrible things.
She killed the Scott.
She killed the Professor.
She learned that the man she trusted more than anyone else had locked her powers away for twenty years and didn't even honour her with the respect of at least attempting to teach her how to control her powers completely. And the result of Xavier's action had created a monster within her: The utterly sadistic and merciless creature that thrived on hate and pain.
But it didn't matter anymore. Logan had killed her, she was dead. Both Jean Grey and the Phoenix were gone.
His eyes remained on hers as they changed from the sinister blackness to her warm brown colour. A genuinely grateful smile pressed across her face as she closed her eyes forever.
Logan retracted his claws from her body as she fell back, lifeless in his arms.
He didn't hold his tears back anymore. He screamed at his love's demise and fell onto his knees, holding Jean: his love, his executioner. He pulled her body closer to his as he sobbed painfully, silently pleading for his heart and soul. She had both, she was both.
Days became weeks slowly for Logan following Jean's death. His first thought in the morning and the last one at dusk was a phoenix dies only to be reborn again. He hoped very much for this to be true, that Jean hadn't truly died like she hadn't at Alkali Lake.
Since that night at Alcatraz Island, Logan suffered from daunting dreams. Dreams filled with alternative versions to the real happenings of that night. Each night, as he slept, he saved her again but not by killing her. He would see it all again. Every night he saves her, dozens of times, in lots of different ways. It didn't matter how he saved her, only that he did but those dreams were a somewhat subtle way of haunting him. Haunting him with things, he could have done but didn't do.
From that night and every night thereafter...he saved her.
Logan thought of how he envied Scott once he returned from discovering the base at Alkali Lake. However, Logan knew that on some basic complicated level, Jean felt something for him too. He knew that once Logan professed that his heart belonged to her, she would always remember how he felt when he was gone. Scott noticed this and perhaps that was the reason for the accelerated tension between him and Logan as he returned.
Nevertheless, Scott still had Jean and Logan still envied him so much that it choked him but he never let it show. He didn't want to trouble Jean with two immature men fighting over her and he prided himself that - unlike Scott - he kept his anger and resentment under his skin. Jean appreciated how calm and collected Logan was about his feelings for her and that he could never truly act upon them without consequences.
Scott confronted Logan when he returned. He let him know how much he was at fault for Jean's distance. And he was, Logan would never deny that but of course, he didn't care.
Scott hit Logan's face hard as he stormed into his room once Jean left with Storm for Boston. Logan clenched his jaw and moved closer to Scott, ignoring his rage. "Look at you. All wound up 'cause i'm hot for your honey."
Logan's smirk met a lethal glare but fortunately he couldn't see from behind Scott's glasses. Scott didn't reply, instead he let Logan continue. "But that's not your problem. Even if i hadn't met her, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her."
Cyclops turned from him, gritting his teeth. "Don't."
Logan remained there. "Jean needs some monster in her man...and that's not in your nature."
Scott turned, glaring again. "I said don't."
The older man understood Scott's distress but nonetheless, Logan wanted to say his bit. "Face it, Jean's got a type and you're not it."
"Oh yeah? That's why she's been with me since we were teenagers?" Scott stepped closer.
"You're all she knows but now that she knows me as well, you're in trouble my friend." Scott clenched his hands into fists, ready to fling another punch at Logan's face but was interrupted by Logan's continued audible thoughts. "She likes us dangerous, rough and occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't feel for you but sorry Scotty-boy...you're just not dark enough." He smirked his famous smirk once again.
Scott knew Logan was right but instead of admitting it, he stormed out of the room just like he had entered without saying a word against Logan's opinion on what Jean wants.
Logan shook his head and sighed. He thought sometimes he got the better deal because he knew how it would feel to be that close to her and not have her, just like Scott didn't truly have her.
And now, Logan sat on the edge of his bed as the sun in Westchester Country set for another hopeless dreamed night. His eyes were bloodshot; his body weak just like hers had been for it went limp and lifeless. His face fell into his hands as he sobbed for his lost lover.