William is beginning to strongly suspect that Travie and Gabe don't understand how this is supposed to work.
"You're the elder statesmen here," he says, hands on his hips, tossing his chin to get his hair out of his face. He suspects, based on the tiny smirk forming on Gabe's face, that he looks slightly ridiculous. He'll worry about that when he finishes making his point. "You're supposed to train me, guide me, mold me. Help me become the best frontman I can be."
"We sound like a Boy Scout troop," Travie says.
Gabe makes a face. "I was never a Boy Scout. Not really my thing."
They have absolutely no attention span, they don't seem to be catching on to William's not-at-all subtle hints, it's hotter than balls on this bus, and William needs to be at soundcheck in eighty-one minutes. The situation is growing desperate.
"I bet you were a Boy Scout," Travie says, eyes going back to William. "Had a little uniform and everything."
Yes. Good. At last, a step in the right direction. "Unfortunately no," William says eagerly, "but if you want, I bet I could find one."
Gabe leans back in his chair and stares up at the ceiling. "I don't really want the responsibility of being anyone's mentor. That's a lot of stress. What if I fuck you up?"
"You're already my mentor," William says flatly. "I've hero-worshipped you since the first time I heard Midtown. You're stuck with it."
Gabe frowns and points at William. "J'accuse. That's, like, nonconsensual mentorship."
Travie smacks the arm of Gabe's chair. "Well what did you think was going to happen, acting the way you did with that band?"
"Are you saying I was asking for it? Travis McCoy. I'm shocked."
William is going to murder them both. It's the only solution. He indulges himself in that fantasy for a few seconds while they slap at each other, then clears his throat and raises his voice. "If we could get back to the point..."
Gabe shakes his head and folds his arms over his chest. "I don't want to be an elder anything. And training you sounds kind of dirty. Kinky. Like you should maybe lick my shoes or something."
Oh, excellent, they're finally getting somewhere. "Would you like me to?" he asks, a little breathless.
"And it's officially gotten weird." Gabe gets to his feet. "I gotta go take a piss. Travie, talk sense into this one, please."
Travie and William stare at each other for a minute. "I just want some guidance here," William says finally. "A little bit of advice, and then maybe corrections when I mess up and praise when I do well, and then I would blow you to say thanks, and we'd all go about our day."
"Say that again?"
William blinks at him. "Which part?"
Travie shakes his head and pulls William down into his lap. "Always lead with the blowjobs, kid. Always."
"Is that lesson number one?" William asks, reaching for Travie's fly.
"That's today's whole lesson." Travie palms the back of William's head and pulls him in for a kiss while William gets his hand down Travie's jeans. Finally, William thinks happily. And now he has a new tactic to bring Gabe around later. Things are looking up.