Work Text:
“Okay. Now this is weird.” Stark heard his body exclaim as it looked at his refection in the glass door.
“I had a dream like this once.” Jack’s voice said distractedly while staring at his hands.
“This is so incredibly wrong.” It was odd to hear that Fargo’s voice for once did not sound panicked at the situation.
“I take it that wasn’t supposed to happen.” Allison’s voice intoned to the entire room but speaking to one person in that bored annoyance that could only belong to Stark.
“Ah. N-no.” Surprisingly enough that timid and soften spoken voice was coming form Jo’s body. “No. T-That wasn’t s-s-supposed to h-happen. Well- actually it was. J-just on a smaller scale to-o the monkeys. And I was sure I-I’d have to prove it worked.” The entire time she talked she was looking at her hands like they were the most fascinating thing the world. “Oh. God.”
“Can you fix this?” Allison asked at the same time Dr. Bianca’s body asked.
Jo’s body finally looked up and looked at Dr. Bianca like she was a ghost. “Y-Ye-Y.” She cleared her throat. “Yes. It’s just a matter of reversing the polarity on the—“
It was then that the round somewhat glowing device in the middle of the room sparked and hissed at the occupants before turning dim causing the lights in the room to room to flicker as well go out for a second.
Jo swallowed loudly and then looked at Allison. “It might take a while.”
“Right,” Nathan could just feel the headache coming on. “Okay anyone still in their original body, raise your hand.”
Nobody in the lab raised their hand.
“Of course,” Stark grumbled under his breath. “Okay then. Everyone who has a human conscious please raise your hand.”
All the hands in the room went up but for the two monkeys currently touching each other’s faces in one corner of the room.
“I-I. I don’t think that a human …. Can cross over to other animals otherwise I would have switched bodies a long time ago.”
“Dr. Bianca, I can presume?” Allsion asked looking over at Jo’s body.
Jo nodded vigorously yes. “That’s right, Doc-doctor Stark?” She asked shyly.
“You are correct.” Allison said again.
Nathan’s who had been in the past just been watching finally spoke up. “Nathan?”
“You are in my body?!” Dr. Bianca said in a tight voice before Nathan could answer who ever was in his body.
Nathan himself in Allison’s body sighed and resisted rolling his eyes, barely. “Yes. I am Nathan Stark. Currently in Allison Blake’s body. Now we should get around and see who is in whose body. Allison I assume you are in Dr. Bianca’s body by what you just said. Now, Jack could you raise your hand.”
Both Nathan’s body and Jack’s body raised there hand. “I meant where Jack’s mind went to, we all know where Jack’s body is.” Nathan grounded out in Allison’s voice. Yep Nathan was defiantly getting a headache.
“So Jack’s in my body. I’m going to take a guess and say Fargo is in Jack’s body and that means that Jo you are in Fargo’s body, is that correct?” Nathan already knew he was correct, he just learned that it was better to let people think you need the confirmation.
Both of Jo and Jack nodded.
Jack in Stark’s body groaned. “Fargo’s in my body! Oh- that’s just-- great.”
“Hey!” Fargo’s own body said. “I’m in his body how do you think I feel.” Obviously Jo.
“Hey!” Fargo exclaimed making Jack’s voice sounded actually hurt and whiny, which completely threw Nathan’s sense of what right in the world off.
“Enough!” Nathan ordered before anyone could say anything else. “Dr. Bianca I want a report on how soon you can get this fixed sent to me ASAP. Understood?”
Dr.Bianca nodded vigorously again. She was going to make Jo’s head fall off if she nodded any harder.
“Right then.”
“And what are the rest of us suppose meanwhile Nathan?” Allison asked. It was also weird hearing Dr. Bianca’s normally timid voice have so much steel behind it definitely let Nathan know that he was dealing with the same old Allison and that was some comfort.
“I suggest we go about our daily lives until this is sorted out. Just because our bodies are different for the interim doesn’t mean we should put anything on pause.”
If hearing Dr. Bianca with steel in her voice was weird, hearing her scoff at Nathan was weirder. “You’re serious!”
“Allison I know this an inconvenience for all of us but this Eureka and it is only temporary.”
“What am I suppose to tell Kevin when I go to pick him up.”
“Allison. If you want I could go pick him up today and explain it to him the best I can. And if I have to I’ll spend the night over at your place. You know I care about Kevin as well.”
Allison was pissed off and Dr. Bianca looked it but she when she thought about it she knew that Stark was right about this. “Fine!” She growled out. Just because she knew he was right didn’t mean she had to like it.
“Okay now that that’s taken care of.” Jack said and pointed to Fargo, who was currently in his body, so it looked like Nathan was pointing at Jack. “I need my badge and my gun.”
“Wha-? Now?” Fargo looked confused.
“Well yeah. Try not to rip my shirt okay.”
Fargo looked a bit embarrassed and twisted the khaki shirt as he tried to get the badge off. Eventually he got the badge off and handed it to Jack, followed by the belt with the gun on it.
"I'm going to need my badge and gun as well." Jo said what almost seemed like an after thought she added. “And my knives.”
Jo's body jumped as Dr. Bianca realized Jo was talking to her. "Right! Right, of course." Dr. Bianca began taking off the badge as well, only to end up pricking her, or in this case Jo’s, finger on the catch. “Ow!”
Jo sighed and stepped forward. “Here. Let me.” She reached up a carefully to get the badge off. It was the weirdest sight in the known universe. For all it was confident and cool Jo just taking back her badge form the geeky insecure Dr. Bianca; it looked like Fargo suddenly got a spine transplant and was starting to undress a suddenly terminally shy Jo. Weirdest sight anyone in the room had ever seen and being that they lived and worked in Eureka for a very long time that was saying something.
“Alright, Doctor we’ll let you get to work I want to be informed as soon as possible when we switch our bodies back to normal.” Stark said as we turned to walk out of the room.
The dramatic exit was some marred by the fact that Stark found out that heels were not his friend. He almost twisted his, well Allison’s, ankle just taking a couple of step. A strong hand caught him by the elbow and held him steady tell he got his footing. Stark looked up to find that it was his body, therefore Jack. It was odd actually having to look up to see into Jack’s eyes. Or should he say his own eyes. Stark was definitely going to have a headache by the end of the day.
“Thank you, Jack.” Nathan said and pushed himself gently out of his hold, trying to not blush. He knew on Allison it would be more obvious.
“No problem” It was scary how much of Carter came through in Starks voice. Stark loved Carter’s voice as much as he loved the rest of him but hearing Carter’s voice inflection coming from his own mouth was just one more wrong thing about the whole situation. It both calmed him down, because it was Carter, and put him on edge, because it was his voice at the same time, doing absolutely nothing for his headache.
Allison and Jo, or should we say the bodies of Dr. Bianca and Fargo, walked around the two headed straight for the elevator eager to get on with their day, both of them thinking that if this day would just hurry along they would get back there actual bodies sooner. Fargo just twiddled his thumbs waiting for Dr. Stark, quite amused by the whole thing actually. He sorta wondered what it was like to be Jack. Not that he really was Jack but hey he was going to be in the guy’s body for the next couple of hours so close enough. Not that he would actually say any of that out loud; contrary to popular belief he didn’t have a death wish.
It must have been an automatic response for Jack on how to behave with women, or people currently trapped in a women’s body, because Stark found himself watching as Jack(not really surprisingly), in his body, held the door open for him. Nathan would never admit it if you asked him, but it was kinda sweet actually.
~~~
Kevin didn’t actually seem that confused about the whole thing. When Nathan picked him up from school Kevin was the one to bring up that that Mom wasn’t exactly Mom right now. And one quick call to Allison to let her know Kevin wouldn’t be confused if she was home tonight meant that Nathan could go home as well.
The door the bunker open and S.A.R.A.’s voice rang out, “Welcome home Dr. B-Stark.”
Nathan was bit surprised that S.A.R.A. slipped up like that. He made a mental note to check into her programming. She shouldn’t have slipped up like that after being informed of the situation. It was interesting to find that didn’t matter what body he was in Jack still had the same laugh.
“It’s nice to know that even S.A.R.A is having a hard time with all of this.” Jack said coming out of the kitchen with two beers.
Nathan accepted one and walked over to the couch taking a deep drink as he when. “I’m just glad Dr. Bianca says she can fix it by tomorrow.” Nathan finally got to kick of those damn shoes off. How do women deal with those every day?
Without prompting Jack sat down on the coffee table and moved Nathan’s feet into his lap. He started massaging them and Nathan couldn’t help but groan with relief.
There was silence for a while between them but it was comfortable. Nathan actually didn’t find it odd of be looking at himself and knowing that it was Jack as much as he found it odd that the foot that Jack was massaging was way too small to be his but considering he was getting the biological feedback from that foot it had to be. He thought maybe he recognized that look his Jack’s face but once he was able to put a name to it Nathan wasn’t sure he was okay with it.
“Jack, are you still attracted to Allison?” Nathan asked.
“Nathan,” Jack replied. “Anything that could have happened between Allison and I is a ship that has long since sailed. You know that right?”
“Then why do look like you want to go upstairs with Allison.”
Jack moves to sit next to Nathan, “I don’t want to go upstairs with Allison. I want to go upstairs with you, Nathan Stark. Whatever body you’re transformed into.” There was a pause as they both thought about that. “Within reason of course.”
Nathan smirked back. “Of course.” He leaned over and kissed Jack.
“Excuse me Dr. Stark, Sheriff Carter. I have a message from Dr. Blake for you.”
Nathan sat back on the couch. “She really does get in between us a lot.”
“What is it S.A.R.A.?”
“She asked me to convey that all interaction between Dr. Stark’s body and her own are to remain strictly G movie rating. Or she would see to that both of you are and I quote ‘singing soprano.’
Neither of them knew if should laugh at that or not but then Allison would have no problem castrating either of them and that was more scary than anything else.
“Got it S.A.R.A. thanks for passing the message along.” Jack said.
“Thank God we only have to wait till tomorrow.”
~~~
“Wo-Who.” Fargo said extremely happy to be back in his own body. Being in Jack Carters body wasn’t as much fun as he thought it would be. Especially with Jo Lupo watching over you to make sure that you didn’t get to do anything.
“Yeah you can say that again.” Jo said. “Stephanie, could I have my weapons back.”
There was a flurry of movement from Dr. Bianca transferred Jo’s weapons back to her own person.
“So as you can see.” Dr. Bianca sounded much more confident in herself. Apparently being in Jo’s body had a positive effect on her she sounded a lot more confident, “the technology does work.”
Nathan nodded, “Yes. We’re all glad to find this Stephanie.”
Dr. Bianca smiled shyly.
“Dr. Bianca I’m happy this all worked out to every ones satisfaction.” Allison said a little sharply. “I’ll be in touch.” With that she marched out. A lot more steady on her heels then Nathan ever was. He was little jealous of that all things told.
“Well now that this is all over and done with I’ve got to see a man about a new AI interface. Dr. Stark. Dr. Bianca. Joe. Sheriff Carter.” Fargo all but ran out of the room himself.
Jack and Nathan shared a look before Jack turned back to Joe. “Joe I’ll meet you back at the office later today.”
“Whatever you say Sheriff.” Joe’s smirk was all to knowing for Jack’s piece of mind but he figured he could live with it.
Jack shot her a quick and half-hearted glare before grabbing Nathan and heading out the door. He wanted to spend some time with Nathan now that he was back in his own body and the threat of Allison castrating them was no longer present.
End.