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Never Call It Love

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There was something immensely satisfying about watching Jason Todd fall apart.

Roy couldn't decide if it was the way his keens and moans went straight to the heat in his own stomach, or how his ragged fingernails scratched and scrabbled for purchase on whatever surface (concrete, carpet, cars) they were on that day, or the incredibly hot and rare occasions when Jason just let go and begged.

Roy hoped this could be one of those rare occasions as he pressed down on Jason's back, pushing the younger man flush against the hotel room's wall. "Something wrong, Jaybird?" he murmured, low and amused, as his hand snaked around to tease just above his Bat-approved chastity--er, utility belt. Jason growled deep in his throat, fingers nevertheless starting to curl. "Nothing," he muttered, body pushing back against Roy.

In the bright glow of the room, Jason could see a smug grin in his peripheral vision as Roy rested his chin against Jason's shoulder. "You suuure?" he drawled, tongue flicking out to lick at Jason's neck as his hand reached down and squeezed.

A broken whimper left Jason's throat, and Roy hid his smirk in the crook of Jason's neck. "Take off your belt," he said softly, hands skimming along the outside of Jason's tights. Roy watched as shaking fingers disengaged the electrical safeguards and fumbled with the clasp, finally dropping the belt on hardwood floor with a resounding thud. Immediately, Roy's hand shifted under Jason's waistband and reached down to grip his cock.

"Ahnn--" Jason's cry was cut off as he reached around and covered his mouth with one forearm, forehead hitting the other arm he had braced against the wall as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't think so," Roy teased, free hand snatching away Jason's arm and locking it behind his back, a move that Jason could easily twist out of--if he wanted. Which, if his breathy moans and tremulous sighs were any indication, he didn't.

Roy craned his neck down to suck at Jason's collarbone, simultaneously letting go of his arm and keeping it there by leaning in tight against Jason's back, feeling taut muscle through the fabric covering his chest. Roy's fingers toyed at the hem of Jason's shirt, hiking it up ever so slightly, and Jason's gasp caught in his throat.

"Th--the lights," he stuttered, feebly trying to squirm away from Roy's callousedsofttalented fingers. "T--turn off the lights."

Roy frowned against Jason's shoulder, taking a moment to survey the mottled purple bruise with pride. "Why?" he mumbled. "I want to see you."

Jason shook his head as best he could with sweat plastering his forehead against his arm. "No--ooo," he keened, voice breaking halfway through as Roy's thumb brushed over the head of his cock. "Turn them off. Plea--please."

Roy was getting annoyed. He pulled his body away from Jason's, letting the captured arm fall limp to his side. "Why?" he repeated, both hands falling still despite Jason's groan of protest. Jason wriggled in discomfort. "Just do it," he panted, turning his face away from Roy's sharp gaze.

The older boy stopped entirely, one hand pulling out of Jason's pants as the other spun him around to push and barre against the wall. "Why," Roy asked for the third time, voice soft and gentle even though his hand was locking around Jason's wrists and clutching them high above his head. Jason's chest heaved as he tried to hide his flushed face, tongue darting out to lick at dry lips.

Jason paused briefly, eyes twitching and looking everywhere except at Roy. "It's nothing," he muttered, trying to push against Roy and scowling when the grip only tightened.

"Don't lock down on me," Roy snapped before he mellowed out again, lightly touching his nose against Jason's. "What's wrong, Jaybird?"

Jason shrugged with forced nonchalance, still refusing to meet Roy's gaze. "I just--" He broke off, and Roy patiently waited for him to continue. "Got some really bad scars. Um--flash burns and shit, you know. I know that you have them too, but these are--really bad. Ugly. The skin's burnt and shitty colors and stuff, and it--they look like bullet holes." Jason shifted, trying to break the grip again and reach for the light switch.

"Stop it," Roy said sharply, free hand gripping Jason's chin and meeting with teal orbs that seemed surprisingly--nervous. Scared, almost.

And Jason Todd didn't do scared.

"You know I won't judge you, Jaybird," Roy said quietly, willing him to understand. Jason licked at his bottom lip again. "Please?" he pleaded, the calloused pads of his fingers running soothing circles against his cheek.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jason let out a long and shuddery sigh. "Fine," he mumbled dejectedly, jerking away from Roy's grip and turning around to tug his shirt over his shoulders.

The first thing that came to Roy's mind was fuck I'm banging a sex god. Sure, they'd seen each other naked before--communal showers did wonders for Roy's fantasies, and it wasn't like they'd never had sex before--but this was different. Personal. Intimate. Jason's back was still towards Roy, but the archer could see every cut and bruise and scar and wound and discolored patch of skin that must be burns from the warehouse explosion and oh god they were hot.

Jason slowly turned back around, eyes downcast. "Gross, I know," he barked out a harsh laugh, fake and hurt. "Guess I really am a zom--mmmfff--"

He choked on his own words as Roy barreled him into the wall, mouth latching on the first scar he could find. "Shut up Jaybird shut up shut up oh god you're hot--sexy--perfect--" Roy's words were lost against Jason's warm skin as he dropped to his knees, mouthing over all the scars and the wounds and the everything. Jason's hands curled into Roy's hair--"never cut it pleasepleaseplease never cut it"--as his knees buckled, almost pitching his body forward and to the ground.

"Beautiful," Roy finally murmured, eyes twinkling and amused when Jason finally looked down to meet his gaze. "Say it. 'I'm beautiful.'"

Jason groaned in disbelief, closing his eyes. "God you're a sap," he muttered, but his voice was quietly happy and there was a smile--a real smile, one of those suckers that crinkled his eyes and lit up his entire face--toying at his mouth; he didn't seem insecure and hurt and broken anymore, muscles loosening and untensing as he leaned his full weight against the wall.

Roy grinned, mouth starting to dive lower. "We'll keep practicing."

Jason liked the sound of that.