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Under My Skin

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I've got you under my skin

 

From the moment I saw you, you dug your claws in, deep past the barriers I had erected to keep everyone out (the way a proper irken did) and never let go. We were so young, the youngest Tallest's to ever be brought to the throne, as well as the only ones to be the exact same height. I remember standing on that large intricate podium as they said our names, echoing throughout the screaming crowd of shorties. So much was happening at once and all I could do was stare.

You were making an embarrassment of yourself; arms flailing at the cameras, begging for attention, a smile so huge it ate up your entire flushed face. I could tell this was a dream come true for you, the childish irken from the inferior side of the Academy. I was to spend more or less a millennium in your presence and for some reason that I couldn't put my finger on, the idea filled me with fear. It was like a prophecy to stand there with you and be unable to look away from the overjoyed expression. But, I was strong, a general, an invader and now despite all odds I was Tallest. I could handle you. You, who was so distracted and obviously dimwitted.

So, the rotation long celebration of our new reign went off without a hitch. It was exhilarating, unbearably loud with the jeers and chants of our new loyal subjects. It left us both in a drunken state of pure bliss, our egos inflated beyond what they had ever been. We were invincible, the leaders of the largest and strongest armada in the Universe. But, then the Empire was attacked by the Meekrobian people.

They took out the Irk-234 Defense, blasted it to smithereens and left the entire planet in an uproar. It was a surprise to everyone and the resulting casualties left us staggering. It was then that they were demanding us to do something, anything. We had to step up to the disaster. And up until then, we'd been avoiding each other superbly. I had convinced myself that maybe we could go through our whole term without so much as having to spend more than four minutes together. I knew for a fact that I was terrified to be in the same room as you and from the polite way you excused yourself when we accidentally clashed, I assumed you had your reasons for dodging me.

This new threat however, propelled us together. Suddenly the weight of the Empire was on our shoulders. Extensive hours were spent in the conference room, alone. The table was long enough to allow us space. We never had to touch. But, it was enough just to be in close quarters with you. It made my antenna vibrate; made the fierce general shake in his Tallest Issue Uniform boots. But, I acted neutral, giving my best attempt at discovering a solution.

Ideas would spew between us in the too brightly lit room. Yours were ridiculous and moronic but I said nothing. Being so close to you made me itch. You smelt like pure sugar, like adrenaline and long nights sipping the finest sodas in front of a fire. Like your whole being oozed the scent of cooking dough, warmed chocolate. Then finally you said something…had this idea...it was so…horribly foolish that it just might work. I remember freezing in my frantic pacing after you said it, your mouth full of some sugary concoction. And you'd uttered it so casually but, my lips curled into a grin. I'm sure you thought I was insane when I laughed and ripped you from your spot before twirling you around the room in a make shift celebration boogie. Hell, I'd even made you drop your doughnut on the horrendous carpet.

But, you smiled anyway, following along even if you had no idea what exactly was up with your co-ruler. Perhaps there was relief in your expression. Maybe because I was finally being nice to you. But, all I seem to remember was thin ivy lips as they curled upward; frosting that coated the corners and your eyes dancing merrily along with your laughter. I remember feeling a punch to my spooch; I remember your claws intertwined with mine. And you sunk under my skin a little bit deeper.

The plan was put into action instantaneously and within hours the threat was dispersing. Our people were thankful and I proudly told everybody who enquired that it had been your idea. You blushed profusely at the praise I'm sure you didn't often get and it did something to my head. It must've because I couldn't stop touching you. Nothing huge. A finger flippantly ran against yours. Our arms and legs brushing as we walked. Nothing no one would've noticed. No one but you. I know because you sent me looks out of the corner of your eye as we went from place to place to put it into action, but you said nothing. Just let it happen.

It was the middle of the 'night', what we Irkens considered night; the battle could be heard even from our position safely in the Massive, when I heard the knock at my quarter's door. Scowling, I glanced at the clock and wondered who would've dared call on me so late. When you came in, in your under armor, looking so pathetic— I instantly shot out of my bed and flew to you, bombarded you with questions. 'What's wrong?' 'What happened?' 'Who died?'

You shook your head, eyes to the ground, claws crossed in front of you. 'I-I'm scared, Red.' I was taken aback, everything in my mind scattered in the proverbial wind. 'Oh.' This tiny noise must've been a cue to you because instantly you began to ramble, arms flailing, and violet eyes so wide that they glistened in the dim lighting.

'What if one of the bombs gets the Massive? What if the Meekrobs find out we're up here? We're the Tallest. They get us, they win the war. Red, what if they bring in re-enforcements!? I don't want that, Red! Reeeed~ W-what if—'

I cut you off, a hand flying to your mouth, covering it. 'Calm down, Pur.' I had no idea where the nickname came from but, it felt so natural and your shoulders slumped. Somehow, someway you ended up in my bed. We sat on the air soft mattress and talked, broke out the emergency doughnut supplies that I hid under my bed. Anything to prevent you from freaking out. I've never laughed that hard before; at your naïve version of the universe, at your foolish jokes. I loved hearing about your time as an invader and the years in the Academy. That night I learned so much about you.

How your left antenna twitched when you giggled. That you liked the chocolate covered doughnuts the best and try as might I couldn't prevent myself from wiping away the little smudges in the corners of your lips. You yawned and rubbed your eyes in such a smeety way that it should've been pathetic. Instead you pierced my spooch and sunk a little bit deeper under my skin. We ended up falling asleep in the same bed once and somehow you stayed there for over a century.

From that night on, we spent every single waking and most of the sleeping ones together. We ate, talked, showered, battled, laughed, joked, and ruled mutually. The things I used to think were funny no longer were when compared to the practical jokes you came up with. I couldn't eat without you there (it just felt wrong) and the bed seemed so huge, empty unless you sat in the middle with your night clothes on, smirking at me, waiting for me to lie down so you could be warm again.

You got me to do things that no one else had ever got me to even consider before. I ended up dancing with you in the middle of the control room, uncaring of the watching eyes of the lower Irkens. I put on puppet shows for you on your bad days. I found myself trying to be funny, trying to bring that smile to your face. It helped that you were already so excitable.

And it continued for years without me so much as thinking twice about the fact that you had slipped so effortlessly into my routine, as if you'd always been there; As if you'd been with me as a smeet in the hatchery. There you were in the Academy, giggling at the other kid's failures. There we were on Joaklin, as you helped me take over for our Empire. We held hands when they saluted us for our contribution. I woke up in the middle of the darkness with a voice whispering to me, it hissed in a voice of reason and logic. It sounded so much like what I used to be, what used to keep me going on long, tough missions. This voice had saved my life before but, now I just wanted it to go away.

'Use your brain, Red. This is crazy. Don't you know you can't win this? You can't win him. You're both Tallest and you'll die eventually from some freak accident like the ones that came before you.' It was right. Who were we to try to defy death? Who were we to fall into this little version of bliss without pain or suffering? It would happen eventually. One or both of us would die. 'Just give up. Save both of you the pain.'

I should've let you go right then, pushed you away. It would've been the smart thing to do, the logical thing to do. Your thin arms were around my waist, cheek pressed against my chest. The sound of your pak hibernating, a soothing white noise in the background of my inner debate. From here I could count all the little flaws you had on your body; a scar from training, when someone had shocked you with a tazer, a little ring of stretch marks on your sides from your rapid weight gain as a smeet.

Maybe to others they would seem like things that made you weak or imperfect but, as I stared at them in the faint glow of what I had begun to think of as our bedroom, I found myself feeling all the more enthralled with you. And before I could even think about letting you go, about starting to ease you away from me, you murmured my name in your sleep and I just pulled you closer. I made the decision then that you were mine, but then really I had no choice in the matter. I was just giving in to the inevitable. You'd already dug your way past all my barriers nearly a century ago and made your way under my skin.

(I loved you under my skin)