forgive my mouth.
It was scandalous, sexy, powerful and hypnotising.
They are at Adam's new apartment where he is hosting a housewarming party two months too late. With the schedule they had been following the past months after the tour, the party is a welcome reprieve from the whirlwind craziness of fame & Hollywood. All the top ten were there with some guests and family.
With the sweet taste of liqueur on his tongue, Kris weaves his way through the crowd looking for his best friend, whom he hadn't yet seen since the obligatory welcome hugs and greetings when he and Katy had arrived.
He is surprised to find Adam lurking-lurking! in one dark corner of the living room, hidden slightly by an obnoxious looking lamp Kris swears is twice his height-jezus; but then he sees the slight smirk on Adam's face and Kris suddenly thinks of a pharaoh looking over his subjects indulgently.
He wonders how much alcohol he has drunk.
Kris is staring at Adam's lips when he realises that something isn't right.
Adam's words aren't making any sense. Kris' pulse and breathing starts to speed up. It's like he's underwater and Adam's words are getting to him through miles and miles of murky liquid and he can't hear.
He eyes flits from side to side and tries to focus on others' voices, anything to confirm that he's wrong in his assumptions. It's like watching everything in slow motion. He sees Danny on his far right, gesturing wildly and laughing at something Matt is saying. Kris strains and leans slightly to his right, tears starting to form in his eyes. He can't.
His gaze switches back to Adam, knowing his eyes reveals his growing panic and Adam stops.
"...ris, wha..wrong? Do...need...?"
It's like radio static. The signal comes and goes and all he's thinking is that this cannot be happening right now, not this time.
Kris reaches out to capture Adam's wrist when he starts to lift his hand to call for someone. He opens his mouth to form the words, no-. He forgets that he can't produce sound and starts to shake his head no to Adam. Andohgod his skin is highly sensitive, feverish and he shouldn't be touching Adam right now. But somehow, having Adam near is like filtering all the spikes, pushing through the growing panic and giving Kris a focal point.
He tries to speak with his eyes. It's alright. This is not new.
And he is lying.
It is new. He stopped having these episodes after high school. After Katy. This is the first time it has happened since then. And never this long; with no more than one sense going out of control. His fear escalates. Kris knows it is only a matter of time before the white noise will make a turnabout and reaches to an unbearable high frequency.
Kris looks around for his wife but registers only halos of lights. He is vaguely aware that he is starting to hyperventilate.
Grasping at straws, he turns towards Adam and zeroes in on one point.
He is once again staring at those lips.
And that is all he remembers.