That night was one you’d never forget and it was one that you wish you’d never repeat. Meulin had sensed that something was wrong with you and high praise to the Muse that she didn’t try and pry the wrongness out of you. It wasn’t a pain that you could talk about and be done with. It was a pain deep in your heart from a time you weren’t you. It was from before you were you: you were them. They lived through hurt and sadness and brokenness and you inherited all that. You inherited their anger, their hate, and their deep-set fear of loss. Meulin left you to sit in your court and you threw out all those who resided within its bramble walls.
You heard a moan and within seconds their life spilled across the earthen ground and you watched with tired eyes as the aether floated down back where it belonged. Your gaze dropped to your hands and you began to tremble and their sorrow flooded over your anger. Your legs gave out and you collapsed with a muffled wail. Images flashed through your head and you wanted to scream. You wanted to open your mouth wide and scream against the tide that threatened to drag you down.
And so you took your claws to the stitches on your mouth and you ripped them open.
You screamed long and loudly, a wail of pain and anger and total and utter loss. You screamed until your throat burned and your voice broke off. Once you could scream no more, you curled up on the ground and you wept.
You don’t know how long you laid there. You don’t know if the moon set and the sun rose and you couldn’t care less if you laid there for a thousand years. What you did know was that there was a warm hand on your face. You opened your eyes and your heart stopped dead in your chest.
His face was as warm as the last time you saw him alive. He smiled and he picked you up and he told you how great it was to see you again. He called you by… their/your name and you wanted to throw him over your shoulder like you had always done. You wanted to wrap your arms around him and breathe in his scent and kiss him as if he was someone higher than you. You wanted to drop to your knees and worship him again and again and again and you never wanted his touch to leave you again.
But as soon as he came he faded and you were left alone again. You considered laying on the ground again when you heard a voice calling… their/your – it’s your name you fucker; it’s your cycle – name. You turned around, only to be tackled to the ground by Meulin. She kissed your tears away and she held you and she told you how she heard your screams and how worried she was. She smiled down at you and… they left you alone. They left you to have your turn and your cycle. As you fell asleep in her arms that night, you wondered if they’d ever seen him again. You hoped they did.