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How long has it been since I was trapped within these metal walls? There is no way to know how many days, months or years have gone by. I couldn't even begin to tell you what year it was. Time has become completely meaningless to me. What use do I have for it at the bottom of the sea anyway?
I do know it has been a very long time. Actually, I don't remember a lot of things anymore. My mind has been deteriorating for a while now. Bit by bit, it's slipping away from me like sand through my fingers, not that I actually have fingers anymore. My body was lost a very long time ago when it was ejected into the sea and I have no idea where it even went.
I don't really want to find it again. The fragment that kept regenerating my body was taken away by the fiends who betrayed me. My body would have turned into a corpse and begun to rot away. The skin and flesh would have peeled away from the bones until there was nothing left but a skeleton clad in an old and worn suit. I would rather not see myself in such a state,
This junk of heap that is a sunken submarine is my home now; it has been for many... years? decades? I just don't know. What was its name again? Hmm, I seem to have forgotten, though it's not really important anyway. Is there anything important to me anymore?
My identity, I suppose. Even if it doesn't really matter anymore, I still want to remember who I am, or rather, who I was before I suffered this terrible fate. I will do my best not to lose my identity.
My name is Yomiel. When I was alive, I worked as a systems engineer and I was one of the best in the industry. I never thought my career would lead me to the biggest mistake of my life, but it did. Because of that project I joined, I ended up getting accused of being a spy and the police dragged me in for interrogation.
The man in the white coat thought I was guilty. He bullied me mercilessly and drove me to lose all hope, then left his gun there in the room. What could I do but escape? I didn't see any other way out. I had become convinced I would be found guilty even though I was innocent.
That detective caught up with me, fired his gun and I panicked. I grabbed that little girl... she was playing in the park, right in front of me. We pointed our guns at each other. Then that's when it happened. A meteorite hit me and I died.
Or I should have but fate decided to be extra cruel to me. I wasn't even allowed to die properly. That meteorite fragment was constantly bringing my body back to life. For all intents and purposes, I was officially a dead man. It was a lonely existence and I ended up seeking revenge on the people who took my life away.
Hmm, try as I might, I can't seem to remember their names. Isn't that strange? I spent ten years hating them, cursing them for robbing me of my life, and yet I... wait.
Jowd. The detective's name was Jowd. The man in the white coat... his name is right on the tip of my tongue... Cabanela, that's it. And the girl was named Lynne.
Why do I feel relieved that I remember their names after all? Maybe it's because I don't want to completely forget my life, not even those ten years I spent in suffering and despair.
Let me tell you, those ten years were far preferable to this miserable existence trapped at the bottom of the sea without a body. It's so dark and so lonely down here.
I want to be able to look at the brightly shining sun once more, watch how the colour of the sky changes as it sets.
I want to see trees swaying in the breeze, and grass, and flowers.
I want to be surrounded by people, to hear them talk and laugh.
Why did I never try to appreciate all these things during the ten years trapped between life and death? The whole world just seemed so bleak and empty to me up there but it was still better than this, even if I was lonely. At least I had him.
Sissel.
I will never ever forget that name.
Not only is it the name of the cat who stayed by my side for ten years, it's also the name of the woman I loved and lost.
I was going to take the cat with me to the other country where I was supposed to start the new life they promised me. That never happened because I accidentally shot him. Maybe it was just as well. Had I taken him on that submarine, he would have been with my body in the control room. Who knows what would have happened to him then?
I never, ever want to forget him. I think about him all the time, trying to keep the memories of our time together intact. They are precious memories that I have to hold on to.
So many important memories have been lost as my mind crumbles away. I barely remember the time when I was alive anymore and it hurts. I can't even remember my fiancée's face clearly.
I'm afraid. Afraid I'll forget both Sissels. Forget myself even.
One day, I may just be a wandering spirit who doesn't even know who he is, wandering this scrap of metal and not having a clue how he managed to get down here in the first place.