Work Text:
It begins with a memo.
You're not looking for anyone, really, but you find a nice little carapace outside your tower with a basket full of pie. It's not your usual pie, but the gesture is nice enough. It tastes like sweetness and dribbles down your chin when you eat it and you like it well enough that he keeps coming back. He's the littlest thing and while all the other carapace seem scared of you, this one comes every day with food.
You think maybe word got out around Prospit about what you did before you all got stuck here. You don't really dwell on it too much.
You make a memo to tell everyone about this sweet as hell little motherfucker with the tight threads and even tighter cooking skills. You get an assortment of GAMZEE STOP CLOGGING UP THE MEMOS, and wwow gam really this is what you have to fuckin tell us?
You're chill with it, though. You don't really expect your brothers and sisters to really get this miracle or the nice little flutter it does to your blood pusher.
You've got pie shoved into your mouth when you notice Eridan and Terezi are getting their chat on. Or rather, what you notice first is that Terezi is doing a full on sixteen page rant like her horns fell off and turned to nubs and she changed her name to Karkat motherfuckin Vantas.
3R1D4N 4MPOR4 YOU W1LL R3FR41N FOR H1TT1NG ON M3 FROM TH1S MOM3NT FORTH
1M R34LLY S1CK OF 1T
TH1S 1S NOT H4TR3D
TH1S 1S JUST1C3
JUST1C3 DO3S NOT S33
JUST1C3 DO3S NOT SL33P
JUST1C3 DO3S NOT H1T ON 1MM4TUR3 L1TTL3 GRUB SP4WNS
YOU W1LL H4NG 4MPOR4 FOR YOUR CR1M3S 4G41NST 3V3RYON3
FR4NKLY YOU 4R3 K1ND OF 4 DOUCH3 SO TH1S 1S R34LLY NO LOSS!
4ND NOT JUST YOU
VR1SK4 1 W1LL G1V3 YOU 4 R3TR14L
1T ONLY S33MS F41R
4ND YOU G4MZ33
YOU W1LL ST4ND UP 4ND 4TT3ST TO WH4T YOUV3 DON3!!!
NOW 1F YOU W1LL 3XCUS3 M3 1 H4V3 H4V3 TO GO T1GHT3N MY NOOS3
It's a jumble of words and slurry and you feel so annoyed. Like whoa, who the fuck is she to judge your divine executions you committed and shit? Everyone's alive now anyway so what is her motherfucking problem?
You eat some more pie and shrug it off. At night, you crawl your way into Karkat's tower and he calls you an idiot, but asks no questions when you curl around him.
-
She does it again the next day.
And the days after that, going into weeks.
You almost slam your club into your husk top in annoyance as you read over the blasphemous little accusations she sends your way. This weak as shit fledging thinks she's got the up on you because she pretends at being neophyte, you realise. She thinks she's got your under her thumb, that she'll put you where she thinks you belong like you're some wiggler who needs schoolfed and what's what.
Your chest does a funny flop and realise with confusion that you're so angry and oh
so
very
much in hate.
You find a tall carapace and crack all his bones until he looks like shit on the ground. A white drop of nothing, all messed up and laying all disjointed and you don't feel any better. So you tell Karkat.
He looks like he can't decide whether he wants to cry or laugh and you can't decide whether it's cute or fucking infuriating.
-
You keep it to yourself, until you start noticing her hounding down Eridan more and more. She's got her claws into him and you're so sick of seeing that shit, that you want to claw your way through wires and make it disappear.
Karkat tells you you're jealous. You guess he's right because ain't he just the poster boy for it?
-
(In the end, you tell Terezi what a useless waste of space Eridan is. Incapable for hate unless you be trying to take his not-moirail away.
Days after, she kisses you and shreds up your mouth and then walks the fuck away.
You spend six hours gushing to Karkat and he only vomits three times. )