So it turns out that living with Tony and Steve was a lot different than just sneaking up in the middle of the night and asking for asylum. She’d tried to stay in her own apartment for the first few of nights after Steve first carried her up to Tony’s guest room, but inevitably she’d grab her pillow and a small bag of essentials and sneak up. After 2 nights of that she didn’t even have to knock, JARVIS just unlocked the door for her when she got there. Darcy never imagined where it would all lead, though.
Now that she was officially living there, she actually saw the guys instead of just going to bed. She usually spent more time with Steve than Tony. Tony spent a lot of time in his workshop and he didn’t like having company while he was working. Besides, she spent enough time around sciencey crap she didn’t understand with Jane, even if watching Tony work was kind of sexy.
Steve and Tony were pretty cute together. When they were out, they did not do much PDA, beyond the occasional finger brushing or pat on the back. When they were alone it was a totally different matter. She vividly remembered the first time she’d come upon them kissing on the couch.
“Dude! I moved up here to get away from all of that!”
“You moved up here to get sleep without hearing your roommates having sex. We don’t keep you up at night, now do we?”
Well, not from hearing it, just from imagining it. And imagining herself going in to join them. So she sat down across from them and leaned forward in her chair. “You’re right, of course. Carry on. I’ll just enjoy the show.”
“I don’t mind an audience.”
Darcy rolled her eyes. “The world already knows that, Tony.”
“I mind,” Steve put in. “I don’t want to have an audience.”
“Mission accomplished. Let’s watch Community.”
None of them were great cooks, but she’d introduced them to the concept of breakfast for dinner, her specialty. Even she couldn’t screw up pancakes and bacon.
The biggest problem with them was their concept of personal space. Steve was better at it than Tony, but then, Tony always had to be doing something. So, if she was cooking, for example, he was right up behind her trying to steal bites. You would think he’d have learned his lesson after the first time he got splattered with bacon grease. You would think.
On one memorable occasion, she’d been painting her nails when he’d casually picked up her foot and started on her toenails. No one had ever painted her toenails for her before, let alone a man. He went about it with the same precision he went about working with delicate machinery, and it looked much better than any paint job she’d ever done for herself. His fingers were rough and callused from his work, and she could feel her face flush as she imagined other things he could be doing with his hands.
Darcy wasn’t sure how she’d finished her fingernails and she’d been trying to be careful, she was painting them Thor’s Cape Red (seriously, that was its real name, someone had come out with a line of Avenger’s nail polishes, and she’d bought a set for herself and Jane on a lark).
She’d been almost finished her fingers when Tony started and she spent most of the time watching him (he’d picked Iron Man gold, naturally) while her fingers dried. When he finished, he blew lightly on her toes and set them back in his lap to admire his handiwork.
A shot of heat went through her and it took everything she had not to either jump him or run from the room. She knew he batted for both teams, hell, all of America knew that, but he was her friend and he was in a committed relationship, and she should NOT be thinking of him that way. Even if his voice saying, “You’ll have to come in and join us if you want to know what we sound like during sex” kept repeating through her traitorous brain.
“I think it looks pretty good for my first time,” Tony said, tilting his head to look at them.
“Uh, yeah. I may have to employ you as my permanent foot guy.”
He laughed. “Permanent foot guy, huh? Any benefits with that?”
Crap, mind, stay out of the dirty place!
“Unlimited access to my naked toes?”
“I’ll consider it.” He put her feet on the floor and stood up to stretch. Goddamn his ass looked good. No, bad Darcy!
She and Steve watched a lot of tv together. She‘d started him on Star Trek back when she was doing his pop culture/history classes so he could catch up on what he’d missed during his Rip Van Winkle nap.
The first time she’d even met Tony had been during one of her history lessons for Steve.
She had been surprised one day when they were sitting on the couch watching Star Trek and Tony Stark walked in. She stood up while quickly pausing the show.
“Mr. Stark! I wasn’t expecting you!”
He held up a hand. “At ease,” he said with a smile. “I just wanted to see how Steve’s lessons were going.”
“Oh! Well, we were discussing the political climate of the 60’s, you know, civil rights, Cold War, etc. So I thought maybe Star Trek would help illustrate the racial tensions and Cold War mentality better than a boring textbook….”
She gestured towards the screen where Kirk was kissing Uhura.
“That’s very clever, Ms. Lewis.” He took a seat on the other side of Steve and motioned towards the tv. “Carry on.”
She sat back down and hit play, but all she could think was “Holy shit! Tony motherfucking Stark knows my name!” and “Damn, he looks even better close up!” What? She was a red-blooded American female. It was practically required that she have a crush on him at some point in her life.
When the episode was over he said, “Well, that was fun. When are you teaching him about the Civil War?”
“The Civil War. I’m assuming you’ll be showing Firefly?”
“Dude, you know he was only frozen for 70 years? He fought the Nazis? He already knows about the Civil War.” She looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds. “I could probably work it in if I go into China’s emergence on the Global Market.”
“Let me know when you do.”
One night Steve was watching an episode of Firefly with her and while they watched Kaylee show up as Badger’s hostage, she made the offhand comment, “That would be me. I have no fighting skills and if I couldn’t get to my taser, I’d be hostage material.”
So the next morning, on a freaking a Saturday, Steve woke her up at the crack of 7 and told her she was going running with him.
“Very funny,” she’d mumbled, pulling the covers back over her head to block out the light he’d turned on.
He retaliated by pulling the blankets off of her and throwing them on the floor. “It’s not a joke. You don’t want to be a hostage, right? So today we start some self-defense training and we warm up with a run.”
“The words ‘Darcy’ and ‘run’ do not belong in the same sentence unless it also includes “coffee” or “tequila.”
He picked her up and stood her on her feet. “It won’t be that bad, Darcy-girl. Get dressed! We’re wasting the day.”
She grumbled something about tasing morning people, but she got dressed.
They went down to the Avengers gym and ran laps. She was not too proud to admit to herself that she was glad they’d gotten up so early. Steve ran a ton more laps than her and at least no one was there to see her look like such a dork. She hadn’t run since she finished her high school phys ed requirement her freshman year and it showed.
Once Steve declared enough running had occurred, she laid down in the middle of the floor, wishing she wasn’t so sweaty and gross. Even though she knew Steve didn’t look at her that way, no girl wants to look gross in front of a hot guy that she sort of had a crush on.
Steve came and stood over her, hands on hips.
She looked at him suspiciously. “What?”
“We aren’t done.”
“We may not be done, but I totally am.”
“You should come running with me every morning and build up your strength.”
“I doubt it, big guy. I was wrong. I’m just going to trust that you guys will always be there to save me.”
“What happened to all of your pro-woman views? I thought you could do anything a man could do except pee standing up?”
“It’s really annoying when you use my own arguments against me.” She held her arms up and let him pull her up off the floor. “All right, what’s next?”
He taught her some basic self defense moves, concentrating mostly on breaking out of the bad guys’ grasp so she could run away, a plan she was totally ok with, especially since it involved a lot of close, personal contact with Steve. She was starting to think something was wrong with her, getting turned on during defense lessons.
She was the worst friend ever.
As she showered off the morning’s exercise, she remembered the feeling of Steve’s hands on her shoulders, around her stomach, his body pressed against hers. Closing her eyes she thought of the differences between him and Tony. Tony occasionally rested his head on her shoulder to see what she was cooking, or to annoy her by reading things over her shoulder. Steve could rest his chin on top of her head if he wanted. They were such very different men, and she was afraid she was falling for them both. God, she was a terrible person. Any idiot could see that they loved each other. They were so beautiful together. She’d come across them more than once kissing, and had a hard time turning away from the sight – the Adonis with the fallen angel.
She was no home wrecker, and she knew she’d never act on her feelings. But sometimes being around them was so hard. And they were being so nice, letting her into their private world. She would never want to jeopardize her friendship with either of them.
She stayed under the spray until her fingers were pruney and decided she would go bother Jane, try to drag her out of the lab and force her to go dancing with her. Maybe she could get laid. The problem could be that she was just hard up and living with two pretty men. It couldn’t hurt, right?
As she got dressed, she remembered that Steve was planning on getting her up to run with him in the mornings and knew that needed to be stopped.
“Yes, Miss Lewis?”
“Can you do me a favor and not let Steve in my room if I’m still sleeping in the morning?”
“That should not be a problem.”
That should help. At least she could avoid the close, personal contact that came with self defense lessons. And seriously, who gets up that early if they don’t have to anyway?
They were all sitting on Tony’s couch the following Thursday, watching a movie. Tony had gotten to pick, so it was Die Hard. Steve was in the middle of the couch and she’d thrown both of her legs over his lap and rested her feet in Tony’s. He was using his magic hands to give her a foot massage since he was taking his job as her official foot guy seriously.
She fell asleep at some point, cuddled up to Steve with his arm around her.
She woke up slowly, keeping her eyes closed and enjoying the feel of a man’s arm around her. She found that she was nuzzling his neck and gave an experimental kiss. A surprised intake of breath made her eyes shoot open. Crap! She’d just been kissing Steve! Her totally off limits roommate! Who was currently turning bright red.
Tony looked amused. “Enjoy your nap, Sleeping Beauty?”
Fuck. She couldn’t even come up with a witty response. So she jumped up. “Great! Thanks! Sorry, Steve. Guess I’ll go to bed. Bye!”
She walked out as quickly as she thought looked dignified and once she reached her room, shut the door and leaned her back against it.
What. A. Moron.
She finally managed to drag Jane out whether she liked it or not (by enlisting Thor's help, of course), tired of staying in and mooning after her roommates. It had been a week since her self-defense lesson and she still hadn’t been able to get Jane away from either the lab or Thor and the accidental kissing incident proved that she needed to. She needed some girl time, and the possibility of getting laid. If she spent less time with Steve and Tony, and more time with other people, she’d realize she wasn’t having sexy feelings about them, specifically. She was just horny.
So Friday night found her all dolled up in her favorite little black dress, ready for a night on the town.
Of course Tony and Steve caught her on her way out.
“And where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Tony asked.
“Out. See you later!”
“Uh-uh. Back here.” She pouted and walked over to where they were finishing up their dinner.
“You’re not the boss of me. I’m going clubbing.”
“No, I’m going with Jane and Thor.” Thor said he was interested in this practice called “clubbing” even after she’d explained that it did not involve violence.
“I’m fairly certain I explained the house rules to you.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m not sure what rules you’re referring to.”
“No partying without me! Steve and I will go with you.”
“Uh, no. The rule was no sex parties in the house without you. And no using Steve for orgasms.”
Steve looked surprised. “No using Steve for what?”
“Sorry, the rule was only Tony can use Steve for orgasms.”
“I’m not sure that explains it.”
Darcy felt slightly embarrassed, discussing orgasms with Steve. He just seemed so innocent, for all that he was sleeping with Tony Stark.
“Yeah….you had to be there. Anyway, you guys don’t want to go clubbing with me.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Is there a chance you’ll fall out of that dress you’re wearing?”
She rolled her eyes. “Perv. Let me put it another way. Steve doesn’t want to go out clubbing and Pepper will kill both of us if I get you in the news.”
Darcy was in awe of Pepper’s awesomeness and did not want to get on her bad side.
At some point when she wasn’t paying enough attention Tony had gotten out his phone and started texting. “Ok, I’ve got Barton and Natasha on board, Betty’s going to talk to Bruce. Let’s go.”
“Wait, what?” Forget Pepper. Coulson and Fury were going to kill her and no one would ever find her body.
“Avengers outing! Let’s go. I thought you wanted to dance?”
“I also wanted to get laid,” she mumbled, following Hurricane Tony and a slightly bewildered Steve down to where Happy was waiting with a limo.
“Where are you taking us?” Darcy asked once everyone was in the limo and she was situated in a way that she was hoping was not flashing anyone her panties.
“Happy will find us somewhere hot.”
“I’m so fired,” Darcy thought.
They ended up at a 40s themed club, and Darcy was surprised and slightly touched that Tony’d picked something that would make Steve feel more comfortable, even though she’d been looking forward to sweaty dancing and grinding up on strangers. And now that she was in the company of so many hot guys, not to mention Jane and Natasha, she kissed her chances of getting laid goodbye. At least she could get some use out of the skills she’d learned in the dance class she’d taken as her college Phys Ed requirement.
Within a half an hour of sitting at a corner table and being brought drinks as if by magic (going out with Tony Stark had its bennies after all) she knew her original assessment had been correct. No one was going to approach her in this crowd. So she stood up and held her hand out to Steve. “Dance with me, soldier.”
He looked over at Tony, who waved them off like a benevolent king giving his courtiers permission to entertain him.
The song was slow and a little melancholy and Steve let her lead.
He looked slightly sad and remembering what he’d told her about his lost Peggy, she said, “I know I’m not her. But I hope I’m not terrible company.”
He looked down at her. “No, Darcy. You’re swell. I just got lost for a minute in what might have been.”
She laid her head on his chest, enjoying the feel of his arms around her and the sound of his heartbeat, daydreaming a little herself.
All too soon, the song was over and he was leading her back to the table.
She sat back down and grabbed her drink, something pretty and pink and gulped it down as Tony swept Steve back out to the dance floor before he could sit. She was left at the table with Clint and Natasha. Bruce and Betty had not showed and Thor and Jane were taking up their own corner of the dance floor.
She couldn’t help watching Steve and Tony. They were so beautiful together. Steve with is blonde All-American good looks. Tony looking like a dark angel in an Armani suit. She looked away only to catch Natasha’s eye. At the sympathetic look on her face, she thought, “Oh, shit, was I that obvious?”
Her own drink empty, she grabbed Tony’s scotch and finished it in one big gulp, enjoying the burn.
“Guys, I’m heading back,” she said to no one in particular as she grabbed her purse and left.
Happy had tried to give her a ride back, but she waved him off, telling him he needed to wait for Tony. Before he could protest, she hailed a cab and got the hell out of there. All she’d wanted was to get away from the guys and maybe get laid. Now she had it even worse. Goddamn it.
She spent the next few weeks trying to get her libido under control. A lot of extra time was spent at work, either doing extra work for Coulson or bothering Jane in her lab. She thought she had things under control and she could be around her roommates without trying to jump them. Her battery operated boyfriend was getting more use than usual, but the walls were soundproofed so no one else had to know. It had gotten back to the point where she felt comfortable with the level of touching they’d had before she kissed Steve on the neck, almost able to pretend they were just older brothers who happened to be pretty hot.
One Saturday, she somehow managed to wake up at 6:30 in the morning completely wide awake. She tried going back to sleep, but no dice. The guys’ door was shut so she assumed they were still asleep or engaged in activities that the soundproofing covered up for her. There were no pop-tarts in the kitchen so she headed downstairs.
The Avengers living room and kitchen were also deserted, so she grabbed a cup of coffee and a pack of pop-tarts and headed back upstairs. She ate her breakfast on the couch, flipping through the channels. Turns out there is nothing on tv on Saturday mornings, even with all of Tony’s channels.
She was going back to her room with the vague idea of getting dressed and venturing out into the real world when she saw Tony’s door was open a couple of inches. Without knocking, she went in and jumped on the bed. The first thing she noticed was that Steve wasn’t there. She could hear the shower running and figured he must be in there. The second was that Tony was still asleep. He was on his back, covered from the waist down in blankets. She crawled across the massive expanse of bed and straddled him, bracing her hands on his bare shoulders. “Wake up! I’m bored! Entertain me!”
When he didn’t stir, she leaned over and blew a raspberry on his neck. The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back underneath him. He was making a yummy noise into her neck and one hand had made its way under her shirt. Her thoughts went quickly from “How did this happen?” to “Holy fuck, Tony Stark’s hand is ON MY BOOB.”
Darcy wasn’t even sure he’d fully woken up, but her bra had disappeared as if by magic and his thumb was doing something really nice to her nipple so she didn’t shove him off right away, even though she was sure she was somehow taking advantage of him.
She froze as a voice came from the bathroom doorway, “Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?”
Tony lifted his head from her neck, his hair adorably sleep tousled and looked first at Darcy’s deer-in-the-headlights face and then over his shoulder at Steve.
“Lady’s choice. Don’t know if she can handle both of us.”
Was she still sleeping? Hallucinating? She’d imagined scenarios like this so many times that she was sure it couldn’t really be happening. When does she get up at 6:30 in the morning if she doesn’t have to anyway? It must be a vivid fantasy.
Steve came over and sat on the bed, cupping her cheek.
“What do you think?”
She snapped back to reality and pinched her arm. “Am I dreaming?”
Both men laughed. “No.”
“When I came in here hoping someone would want to entertain me, this isn’t what I had in mind.” She nipped at Steve’s thumb, which had been rubbing lightly on her bottom lip. “But I guess it’ll do.”
Tony smirked. “In the interest of full disclosure, you should know our Steve here has never actually been with a woman before.”
“Oh, I feel so sad for you.”
Steve looked kind of crestfallen, so she quickly added “If you’re starting with me, no other woman will compare and your sex life will have peaked early.”
Tony threw back his head and laughed in delight. “Oh, I knew I liked you.”
“If we’re fully disclosing stuff, I’ve never been with two guys at once before. So it’s new for everyone. Except maybe the man-whore here.”
Tony didn’t bother to respond, just turned his attention back to her breasts.
Darcy had been dreaming about this moment for so long, it felt like a dream, as insubstantial as a soap bubble that could pop at any second. If this was going to be her only time with them, she was going to fully enjoy it.
Darcy didn’t realize she’d dozed off until she woke up. The room was still dark, but she knew it must be around lunchtime. She was near the edge of the bed with Steve’s arm thrown over her belly and his face in her hair.
She knew she should leave. She felt almost like she’d taken advantage of both of them, even though they’d all been willing participants. But she’d had feelings for them and she knew they didn’t feel the same way about her. They liked her, had invited her to live with them, but as a friend, not as a lover. How was she going to look them in the eye again?
She finally decided to try to sneak out, but she only managed a couple of inches before she was hauled back into Steve, and heard his muffled voice say, “Not time to get up.”
She wiggled out from under Steve’s arm, telling him “I need up soon or I’m going to embarrass myself.” He quickly let go and she made her way to the bathroom.
After doing her business, she looked at herself in the mirror, trying to finger-comb her hair even though it was mostly a lost cause.
She had some beard burn on her neck and finger-shaped bruises on her hips and she still couldn’t believe what (or rather who) she’d spent the morning doing.
She felt weird going back in there naked. Should she grab a towel? What’s the protocol after sleeping with your hot roommates? Pretend it never happened? Jump back in bed?
Her internal struggle must have taken longer than she’d realized because she heard Tony yell, “Did you fall in, in there? Should we send in a search party?” and she decided just to go out as she was.
She walked out saying, “Classy as ever, Stark. Why do I put up with you?” Steve was holding the blanket up so she slid back in next to him like it was no big deal.
“My sparkling wit? My hot boyfriend?” he snapped his fingers, “no, wait, I know. It’s my A.I. You two seem to have a weird relationship.”
“You’re right. I do love JARVIS.”
“I love you, too, Miss Lewis.”
She giggled. “Call me Darcy, baby.”
“Jesus, that’s disturbing. I didn’t even program him to have feelings!”
Steve looked like he suddenly understood something. “Is this how you keep me from getting you up for a work out in the mornings?”
Darcy laughed. “Yes. JARVIS likes me more than you.”
“That is accurate, Miss. Darcy.”
“Sorry, Steve.” Her stomach growled and she stretched, making sure to rub on as much of Steve’s body as possible. “Well, now that you both have sufficiently entertained me, it’s time for you to feed me.”
Tony groaned. “You’re pretty demanding.”
“Need food. I bet the super soldier here is hungry, too. Not everyone can live on alcohol alone.”
Steve looked over at Tony. “I wouldn’t mind eating.”
Tony sighed. “Fine. I’m out-numbered. We’ll eat.”
Yep, she could never have imagined it would end up like this. But she was not going to complain.