The sensation of hands and lips on his skin raged through his body. He was not used to this; someone else touching him. And Scudder seemed to be mapping him. Every inch of skin caressed or kissed.
“I…” was all he could say. “I…” Scudder paused in his exploration.
“Yes?” he said knowing very well that perhaps he had stepped over the line, that he could still be thrown right back out of the window.
“I’ve..” Maurice took a deep breath. “I’ve never done this before.”
Scudder was quiet for a heartbeat or two. “Never?” he asked. Scudder’s brown eyes sought his. Maurice merely shook his head. “Tell me if I do something you don’t want.” he whispered in Maurice’s ear.
Scudder looked at him. He would not continue, not without Maurice’s consent. His hazel brown eyes held Maurice’s and a thousand thoughts raced through his mind. His mother, Dr. Barry, Mr. Lasker Jones, Clive. Oh God, what would Clive say if he knew? This was going far beyond platonic, in truth it already had gone too far.
Scudder was giving him a way out. He could say no and the boy would leave. But did he want that? He let his thumb trace Scudder’s jaw line. Maurice’s fingers moved to the boy’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Damn Clive, to hell with the doctors...he wanted this, needed this with every part of his being.
The kiss started sweet and slow but then Scudder let his tongue trail over Maurice’s lower lip and he had opened his mouth letting him in. Maurice’s body hummed, every sensation, every quiet moan seemed to be amplified in the small room. His clothes had disappeared so had Scudder’s, but Maurice had no recollection of that happening.
Scudder’s skin was different than Maurice would have imagined. Despite his hard physical work and much time spend in the outdoors it was smooth and soft. Only his hands bore any evidence of hard labour. The boy was trailing kisses down his chest, pausing briefly by his nipples, too briefly, only to continue downwards past his navel.
Warmth and wetness surrounded him and for a brief moment he was sure he would pass out. He propped himself up on his elbows to look down at Scudder kneeling between his legs. The sight alone nearly made him lose his mind. Would Clive have done this for him if he had insisted back at Cambridge? He doubted it. Clive would never have given him this. Never. Scudder looked up but did not stop, his eyes seemed glazed.
Then he did stop, letting go of Maurice. His lips were swollen and red and Maurice could do nothing but stare. The boy crawled off the bed and started to look through his clothes. So that was that, Maurice thought. Scudder would leave. He closed his eyes.
“We don’t ‘ave to go on if you don’t want to…but…”
“I want…” Maurice answered. He did not know exactly what he wanted. He just wanted more.
He felt hands on him again, sleek with something slightly cold. He knew what would happen next. He had heard some of the lads at the Mission talking about it when they thought he wasn’t listening.
“Mr. Hall…” the boy whispered. This was ridicules. They were both naked, breath ragged and he continued to call him Mr. Hall. He wanted to say something. To tell him to call him Maurice.
But then a tight heat engulfed him and he opened his eyes. Scudder was straddling him slowly moving down, slowly driving Maurice mad. Maurice moved his hands so they lay on the boys hips.
“Had I best be going now, Sir?” Maurice pretended not to hear.
“You mustn’t call me Sir…May I ask your name?”
“I know - I meant your other name.”
“Only Alec just.”
“I’m called Maurice” he said caressing Alec’s hip, kissing his belly.
“Saw you leaning out of the window…saw you the next night too. I was out on the lawn.”
“Do you mean you were out in all that infernal rain?” Maurice asked worried.
“Yes…watching…oh, that’s nothing, you’ve got to watch…I’ve not much longer in this country, that’s how I keep putting it.”
Maurice looked at him, touched his lips, his chest. He wanted him more than anything he had ever wanted before and he felt at peace here in this room with this man. All those years of fear and loneliness wiped away by loving hands.
He wanted to give Alec all of him, every aspect, every part of his body and being. Alec stroked Maurice’s hair and giggled when Maurice reached down below the covers and touched him. Alec moaned and let his head rest against the pillow……… Afterwards they fell asleep.
“Had I best be going now?” Alec repeated.
“No, No.” Maurice whispered.
“Sir, the church has gone four, you’ll have to release me.” Maurice grabbed Alec by the wrists and pinned him down. Maurice was straddling him and used the weight of his body to keep Alec in the bed. Alec looked worried for a second.
“Maurice, I’m Maurice.” he whispered and Alec smiled…
“Did you ever dream you’d a friend, Alec? Someone to last your whole life and you his?” Alec’s fingers were drawing circles on Maurice’s shoulder and he allowed himself to forget the world for just a few more moments.