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Morning Pains

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God why did everything hurt?

He was craving pain killers and a stiff drink. Hell he wanted morphine at this point, he wanted to be so numb he couldn’t feel his morning wood.

Morning wood. Oh, well at least Tony still had his dick.

With a groan he opened his eyes, face pressed against the pillows, body eagle spread on the bed he didn’t recognize. He didn’t recognize the walls, the bed spread, the pillows. It may have just been his hangover from hell, but he was pretty sure this wasn’t his room.

He shot up, staring around him, his head throbbing and the room spinning slowly like a merry-go-round. It wasn’t his room. His room was a junkyard, clothes and books and dishes and scrap metal everywhere. This room was so clean it almost looked like a doll house, too good to be real.

Everything ached. Tony noted the bruises along his arms and chest, not as dark as he had expected. He wasn’t sure how he had gotten them, but he was sure it was the usual story. Clint hadn’t joined for the party, so he had gone looking for fun.

After that-

He had nothing.

“Shit, Rhodey’s gonna kill me.” He groaned, trying to twist his legs out of the guilt and sheets he was under. “I’ve told you how many fucking times, Tony, not to end up at some random person’s apartment. But do you listen? No,” he drawled out his voice in mockery. Rhodey was going to pace the kitchen, bitching at him until Tony got up and wandered off, tired of listening. And it was the same discussion every time. “And I am not coming to save your sorry ass if you get sold into sexual slavery, nope, you’re on your own.”

“Who’s getting sold as a sex slave?” Someone asked.

Tony yelped and turned around. Tall, blonde, and muscled bound Prince Charming stood in the doorway, dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, clearly just back from a run. He was frowning, eyes scanning Tony’s body, taking in the bruises he may very well have caused. Tony didn’t know, but the last time he’d woken up in someone else’s bed, that was exactly what had happened.

“That depends on whether or not you’re doing the selling,” Tony said, trying to calm down. The guy looked harmless enough. He offered an arm. “This your master piece?”

Prince Charming scowled. “No. You came like that.”

“Really. Well that’s a first. God why does my head hurt so fucking much?” Tony groaned, covering his eyes and rubbing lightly against his temples. He’d never had such a bad hangover, at least not since high school.

“You said you were drugged.”

Tony stared at him. “Well this is just a morning for firsts. No wait; there was New Year’s three years ago. Never mind. Fucker that smarts.”

Prince Charming sighed and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a bottle of advil.

“Oh you’re a god.” Tony babbled taking it from him. He more or less fell out of bed and downed the glass of water on the nightstand, popping more pills than necessary in hope of dulling the pain.

“Uhm, you want some pants?” Prince Charming asked. Tony looked over at him. He was blushing, trying to hide it, and failing. What was-

Oh.

Morning Wood.

Oops.

“Well that’s awkward.” Tony just looked down at the tent in his boxers. “Sorry, you know how it is. Pants would be good. Where are mine?”

“In the, uh, laundry.” Prince Charming cleared his throat. “They were soaked and smelled like booze.”

“Aw that’s sweet.”

“There’s jeans in the drawer there.”

Tony eyed him. “I am far too small to fit your pants.” He snorted. “In every way from height to bulge.”

Prince Charming rolled his eyes. “There should be a smaller pair in there and you can use a belt. It’s just till your clothes are done.” He kicked off his shoes and retreated to the bathroom. Tony waited until he heard the shower kick on before stumbling around to try and find said pair of fitting pants.

Ok, he had lied. They were far too big for him, even with the belt. They slid down his hips, showing a good bit of his boxers. They did however hide the awkward morning wood. They smelled good too, the smell of worn denim and spiced soap, a hint of musk. Prince Charming must have worn them recently.

Oh that wasn’t helping.

Instead of giving into his body, which would have been a whole new level of awkward since he was in Prince Charming’s apartment for starters, Tony wandered out to the kitchen, wincing at the pain in his lower back and legs. Slowly, bits of last night were coming back to him. He remembered some of the party, loud music, bright lights, screaming, dancing, the usual. Someone grabbing him, hurting him, the room spinning more than it did the last time he had been slipped ecstasy. Maybe it was roofies this time. God the fact he had to think about which it was had to say something awful about his life.

Oh, coffee.

He made himself a cup without a second thought and settled down on the sofa. No doubt he was going to have to wait a while till his clothes dried. He glanced around, taking in the lack of decoration, the simple furniture, the pale blue walls. God it looked like it had come straight from the forties or something. It was depressing.

Where was his phone?

Had he lost it?

Where was his wallet?

Ah in his coat which was hanging by the door. Good.

Which party had he gone to?

Hell if he knew.

Who had tried to-

Whoever it was clearly hadn’t succeeded. He was able to walk, which according to Clint, meant he hadn’t actually had sex. He doubted the logic in that, but it was a bit of relief. He would have stooped to a new low if he had to go home and tell Rhodey he had actually been date-raped.

“You were a mess last night.”

Tony looked up to see Prince Charming watching him, dressed in clean jeans and t-shirt, drying his pretty blonde hair.

“I’m pretty messed up most nights.” Tony replied, taking a swig of coffee. “Anything stand out?”

“Other than the bruises?” Prince Charming dropped the towel into a laundry basket and sighed. “I found you stumbling around in the rain, covered in booze and vomit and probably blood, and you said you almost bit a guy’s dick off.” He rubbed his eyes. “That a normal night for you?”

“No usually I get laid.” Tony snickered. “By a chick.”

“I really doubt a chick could leave those behind,” Prince Charming said, motioning to the bruises. “You should go to the hostpital about them. I mean, I did a bit but they’re pretty bad.”

Tony shrugged. “Hospitals and I don’t mesh.”

“And Rhodes called.” Prince Charming pulled out Tony’s cellphone and waved it at him. “You scared him pretty bad last night.”

“The fuck do you care, Prince Charming?” Tony snapped. He knew Rhodey was going to be pissed he didn’t need this guy reminding him. “Wait, Rhodes? You know Rhodey?”

“Football team.” He shrugged. “And it’s Steve.”

“Steve… Suits you.”

“So you said last night.”

“I haven’t got a clue what I said last night, so I’m sorry if I embarassed you or came onto you or just made an ass of myself.” Tony sighed. “I’m usually better than that, I can manage my getting fucked up.”

“Ever thought about not getting so wasted?” Steve offered. Tony noted the fact he didn’t swear. “It could kill you one of these days.”

“And you care because?”

Steve stared at him. He had a stone-like expression, his blue eyes, very pretty blue eyes if Tony were to judge, steely and hard, his lips a thin line.

“Because I almost ran you over last night. Because you were sobbing the whole way home. Because you flinched whenever I had to touch you. Because you wouldn’t sleep alone. Because whenever I tried to leave you’d start crying again. Because you had nightmares that made you physically ill.” Steve leaned up against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Take your pick. There’s a few more.”

Tony felt his mouth go dry. Damn, he had been fucked up. He never lost it in front of people, Rhodey and Pepper had been the only ones who had ever seen him cry. Not even his own mother, not since the age of four, had seen him cry. His father had made sure of that. He was always snarky, arrogant, perfectly fine around others. Well except when he was drunk, drugged, and terrorized, apparently.

But that wasn’t what scared him. Tears were human. He could pass that off as being drunk and emotionally inhibited. Sure, he could do that. That wasn’t it.

No one knew about the nightmares.

Chapter Text

“And you just left?”

Tony pulled the phone away from his ear, hoping to lessen the screech from Pepper. “Yes, I left. So what?”

“You didn’t thank him at all?”

“Yeah, Pep, I swooned and fell at his feet, proclaiming my undying nightingale syndrome induced love for him before bedding him.”

“Tony.”

“No I didn’t because I didn’t need his help I would have been fine.”

That was an outright lie.

Tony knew it, Pepper knew it. But Tony ignored that fact, sitting on the low wall outside Steve’s apartment. He was still wearing Steve’s jeans, his jacket serving as a shirt. He took a long drag from his cigarette and sighed. His head still hurt, everything still hurt and he was fighting the urge to cry. It shouldn’t have bothered him that much. He was never going to see Steve again and Steve had no reason to use the nightmares against him.

Tony hadn’t even asked what he had muttered in his sleep. He didn’t ask if Steve knew or remembered. He probably did. Tony tried not to think about it, about the dreams about the fact that someone now knew.

Another long drag.

He had stood up, grabbed his coat and stormed out the door without even so much as a goodbye. Steve had tried to stop him, tried to call after him, but once Tony was over the threshold he stopped trying. Tony’s natural flight instinct had taken over. The only reason he was still sitting outside the building was because he didn’t have a fucking clue where he was.

“Tony, you should thank him.”

“No.”

“Tony stop being a baby.”

“I’m not being a baby, Pep.”

“You’re still at his apartment, aren’t you.” She sighed. “Sitting outside does count.”

“I haven’t got a fucking clue where I am. Can Hap come get me?”

“Happy’s at work, Tony.”

“Damn.”

“Try walking, it’ll be good for you.”

He snorted. He hadn’t mentioned to her that his body was a lovely collage of bruises and sores. “Yeah, sure it will.”

“Suck it up. You can’t be that far from Campus anyway. I’ll see you soon.”

“Sure.”

“Love you Tony.” And she was gone.

Another long drag before flicking the dead cigarette away.

“Fuck.”

“You do know that smoking is a really disgusting habit, right?”

Tony groaned. “I don’t care. Why are you still talking to me? Go away.”

“Hey, you’re the one sitting outside my building. In my Jeans.” Steve sat down on the wall next to him. “Can’t find your bearings?”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m trying to be nice.”

“don’t.”

Steve’s hand covered his as Tony fumbled for another cigarette. “You aren’t the only person who has nightmares you know.” He took the pack from him. “I have them. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Don’t patronize me. You don’t even know who I am, so don’t you dare-”

“I know you have problems and that you’re afraid to face them.” Steve ran a hand through his shirt hair. “I know you seem to think drinking is the only way to handle it.”

“Fu-”

“And, I’m not trying to patronize you. I’m just saying you aren’t alone in this. I won’t say anything, alright? Not to Rhodey or the girl you were talking to. Stays between us.” He offered Tony his hand. “deal?”

Tony hesitated but shook his hand. He wasn’t going to see him after this anyway. Steve smiled, a nice, genuine smile that made Tony think of far too many sappy things and squeezed his hand. It almost made Tony smile. Almost.

They sat there, staring off into the distance, Steve fiddling with the pack of cigarettes as Tony picked at his fingers and poked his bruises.

“How bad was it?” he asked.

Steve frowned. “Was what?”

“The nightmares.”

“Oh.” Steve shrugged. “Well you moved a good bit, twitching and stuff. You kicked me once or twice, gave me nice punch to the jaw.” He chuckled. “Hurt too. Thought I was going to have a bruise.”

“Sorry.”

“Nah its fine.” Steve patted his shoulder. “You talked a lot too.”

Tony winced. That’s what he was afraid of. “Anything interesting?”

“Obie,” Steve said. “You said Obie a lot.”

Tony felt sick all over again. Steve glanced at him and he half expected him to ask more questions, to pry, just nag until Tony fessed up.

He didn’t.

He just sat there watching Tony’s face, hand still on his shoulder. “I don’t really remember anything else,” he said after a moment. “Is that normal for you?”

Ton shrugged. “Can’t say.”

And Steve took the hint.

He offered Tony a ride home and, since Tony had no idea where he was, he accepted.

“I’d offer you something to eat but I haven’t gotten groceries yet.” Steve handed Tony his clean clothes. “We could grab breakfast on the way.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

And again, Steve took the hint.

He was so unobtrusive, Tony wasn’t sure if he should be trusting him. But that damned smile of his made Tony want to.

Steve dropped him off at his apartment without delay. Before he let Tony go though, he stuck a post-it-note to his forehead.

“Just in case,” He said, before kicking his bike into gear and driving off. Tony peeled the note off his head and stared.

It was his phone number.

And Tony was still wearing his jeans.