You are roughly shoved into a chair, causing you to lurch forward and hit your chest against what you assume is a table. The stifling bag is whipped off your head, and you find yourself subjected to a blinding, white light, emanating from a lamp on the table pointed straight at your face. You blink rapidly, trying to get more focus on your surroundings, and as you do, you become dimly aware of a figure seating itself in front of you. Quiet shuffling in the background indicates others as well, probably the ones who brought you here in the first place.
“So, John Egbert,” says the figure in a silky voice, “tell me about yourself.”
“Wha—“ you begin.
“Actually, no need,” the voice continues, cutting you off mid-syllable. “Your name is John Egbert, and you are a high school student whose current elective is Honors Biology. You live with a single dad who is so busy that he’s not even home half the time. Even when he is around, all he does is bake silly cakes and other goodies that you hate. And on top of that, you don’t have any friends at school, only classmates who torment you, taunt you, and bully you. Poor child,” the voice croons.
“How do you —“
“No questions, John!” Your mouth snaps shut in an instant. “Now there’s a good boy. Allow me to continue without any more interruptions, hmm?” You nod vigorously, squinting at the light. “Where was I? Ah, yes, I haven’t mentioned your newly awakened powers yet, have I?” Your startled expression causes the voice to burst out into a cackling laugh. “Of course I know all about those powers of yours, John! Wind element, aren’t they?” A pause.
“Yes,” you manage to squeak out.
“Wonderful! Her Imperious Condescension is going to adoooooooore you! She’s wanted someone with powers like yours in Alternia for quite some time! Well, what do you say?”
“Uhm, what are you talking about?” you ask, head reeling from the sudden onslaught of information.
“Oh, John, answering a question with another question is simply not a thing you do here!” the figure says, making a tsk sound before looming into view. You gasp.
Your eyes take in the image quickly: grey skin, a single yellow eye sporting blue lashes, glasses with a tinted left lens, blue lips curled up, revealing pointed fangs, and two wicked horns nestled atop a head of long, black hair, one dangerously hooked and the other, forked. She meets your two eyes with her own one, and it was then when you realized, she was still talking.
“So John, what’ll it be?” she asks again, tapping a blue-nailed index finger on the table.
“Sorry, what was the question?” you timidly ask.
“Ugh, John, please!” The female troll rolls her eyes. “Haven’t you been paying attention at all?” She leans right into your face and bites out each syllable. “Do. You. Want. To. Join. Us.”
“But who exactly is ‘us’ and why me? What about my dad and my education?” you blurt out, “What’ll happen if I say yes? Are you giving me time to think?” Your string of questions halts as the troll waves a hand.
“Too many questions, John! All of which can be answered in good time,” she smirks and leans towards you, “if you join us, that is.”
“I don’t know…”
“Oh, it’s fine if you don’t want to join us, John, I perfectly understand. We’ll just let you go back to your regular life and you can be on your merry little way. You can go back to the society that doesn’t want you and the father that’s never there for you.” She sighs dramatically. “All this time, I thought I was doing you a favor by bringing you here, giving you a chance to start anew! Welcoming you into a family that actually values you for what you have, and won’t shy away from you can do.” Your eyes widen and she grins, all teeth and fangs. “Well?”
You take a deep breath. “I’m in.”
“Absolutely wonderful!” she exclaims, clasping her hands together in glee, “Consider your entry into Alternia a birthday present from me to you.”
“How did you know —“ You stop yourself in the middle of the statement when you see her raise an eyebrow. “Uh, right, no questions.”
“You learn fast, John!” she says, grinning, “It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is your birthday. Though it was sixteen years ago that you were given life, it is only today that you will be given a new life. What will you do with your new life?” Her eyes twinkle. “Well, that’s not really your decision. Now, please show him in,” she says, but not to you. The lamp turns off with a click and rough hands hoist you up with your feet dangling. Your handler begins to walk in the dark, and though you can’t see, you swear you hear a smile in the female troll’s voice as she gives one last statement:
“Welcome aboard, recruit.”
— Show Agentlog —
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began messaging gallowsCalibrator [GC] --
AG: 8e nice to the new recruit!!!!!!!!
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased messaging gallowsCalibrator [GC] --
GC: H33H33 1 4LW4YS PL4Y N1C3!
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased messaging arachnidsGrip [AG] --