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Awake

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While Sharon sleeps, Steve moves to the window and uses the light from the street lamps to sketch her form. It's a trick he learned as a child, when money and electricity were sparse and it is one he clings to now that he has escaped death's hands yet again.

The drawing is one of a many portraits of Sharon that Steve has drawn throughout the years. He has sketched others, of course, as they warmed his heart and shared his bed. But Sharon he has drawn the most. Sometimes he draws her in battle form, reading to stand by his side and help him take on all the darkness of the world. Other times, he draws her as the woman instead of the soldier.

But tonight he draws her as she is, asleep and clad only in an army t-shirt too snug for him that dwarfs her smaller frame. He begins with a rough outline, before filling in the arms, legs and head. The face and hair come first, followed by the smooth curves of her breasts as he gives shadows to the t-shirt.

His hand shakes slightly when it comes time to give shadows to her stomach.

He thinks of the scar found there, and the promise of what they could have had. The love he could have given, the strength she could have passed on, and the life that was sacrificed to prevent it from falling into the Skull's clutches. (Steve cannot argue that point, because every time he thinks he might, he thinks of the anguish in Bucky's eyes when Steve had given him back his memory, and how that anguish still lurks silently, behind the duty Bucky performs in Steve's name.)

If only he had fought harder to come back to Sharon faster... He could have protected her. He could have protected their child, and an entirely different kind of scar could remain on Sharon's stomach.

But it is the scar that actually exists that makes him unable to finish the drawing. He sets the tablet carefully on the desk next to their bed and lies down next to her, pulling the covers up over them as he slips into bed.

She stirs slightly and smiles up at him sleepily, reaching her hand up to cup his face. He understands the gesture as the confirmation that he is really there, and that his presence isn't just a dream.

His hand, placed protectively on her stomach, serves the same purpose for him.