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Tastes Like Spacechicken

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"Whiploc!" Val said, turning around and slapping his hand away.

"What?" He said, jumping back, widening his eyes at her in exaggerated innocence. "You had some snafleflagin on your big round ladyparts!" He clasped his hands underneath his chin, fluttering his red eyelashes at her. "I was helping."

"Sure you were," she said, brushing off the fur he'd left on her butt. She shook her head, pointing at the door. "Out!"

"You know where to find me if you change your mind," he said in Mac's voice, which he knew drove her crazy, so she threw a frondinny at him for good measure, which he ducked to dodge, the sliding doors whoosing closed behind him.

"Some things never change," she sighed, going back to painting her fingernails with this weird stuff they used on Planet Mac (they had some name for it in their own language, but apparently whenever she tried to pronounce it she sounded like a hornswaggie in heat, so she didn't bother anymore). Whiploc was always going to be a sexist jerk no matter what planet you put him on.

Though, considering that most of the ladies here had giant fluffy tails, she could kind of see the appeal. Call her vain, but it was entirely possible that she was the prettiest woman on this entire planet.


"Zeeeeeebo!" She cried, falling in slow motion, her hair flared out like curly wings and her funny, spandex-y space clothes not really helping with the whole air resistance thing at all. "I'm going too faaaaaast!"

"Don't worry, pretty lady!" He said, tucking his arms to his sides and zooming down beside her. "Zeebo's got you!" He put his hands on her shoulders and flipped a switch, releasing a bright purple and orange parachute.

"Oh, thank God," she sighed, going all noodle-y and relieved in his arms. "When they told me low gravity, I thought it would be more like, you know," she waved her hand, "what we're doing now. Floating down peacefully and gently, like a feather in the wind."

"Feather in the wind," Zeebo repeated, in a rather zen voice.

"Yeah, not zooming down like Superman! I don't care if the ground is bouncy, I never want to go that fast again!"

"Never again," he reassured her, rubbing his cheek against the top of her head.

"Aww, thanks, buddy," she said, giving him a smile. He sure was a real pal.


"Surprise," Mac said, taking his (very nicely non-furry) hands off her eyes. Even though Whiploc teased him all the time, he kept it up for her, which she was really grateful for. Not that she didn't like him all... fuzzy, but she was still adjusting to this whole living on another planet thing, and it was nice to have a good old almost-Humanish Mac to cuddle with in bed.

"Ooooh," she said, hands going up to her cheeks. Her eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing. "Is that a hamburger?"

"It is..." Mac wiggled his fingers in the air, smiling slightly. "My version of a hamburger."

"Oh, Mac," she said, throwing her arms around his neck. "I don't care if it tastes like crap, this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"I did not put any crap in it," he said, quizzically.

She laughed, kissing him. "I know you didn't."


She snuggled into his arms that night, happily full of his version of a hamburger, and even though it hadn't tasted anything like McDonald's, she liked it like that, and she wouldn't have changed it for anything on all of Planet Mac.