This was how it always was. hiding,pretending,faking. never admitting the truth even when he's right. hurting inside but painting on a smile praying that no one would look past it. it seemed to always be this way. ever since he met Sho. he was young then,not knowing what he was feeling.he only thought it was admiration,because he was so hardworking,so kind and everybody loved him. and for some reason it didnt stop,his feelings never faded away for Sho. he knew it was impossible,he knew that Sho wouldnt like him. all these years he's been trying to get his attention. trying to make him look his way,but nothing worked. so it surprised him when Sho finally noticed that he existed.
Jun hesitated not wanting to answer him. for fear that he might say something stupid and ruin everything.
"are you free today?"
his heart beated faster. he was free,but tired and he wanted to just go home and sleep. he wasnt really in the mood to hide his feelings after doing an interview.
"yea" he whispered. silently cursing himself for not being able to say no to Sho. for being so weak everytime.
"Great! do you want to go shopping with me??? i need some new clothes,mine are getting too small for me."
he looked up,a surprised expression on his face. Sho asking me to go shopping with him??? clearly this must be a dream.Sho was smiling,the light from the windows on his face made him glow.and that twinkle in his eyes...Jun looked away quickly trying to hide his embrassed face.
"why me? you could ask Nino,he's good with shopping."
Sho giggled " nah,i want to go with you,we need more alone time together anyways."
Jun could feel his face turn red. "o-okay" he stuttered. trying hard to hide the feelings flowing through him right now. and how much he wanted to dance and sing
"what do you think about this??" Jun looked at Sho holding a bright green t-shirt with an abstract drawing of a face. he almost immedietly thought of Ohno,how he must of drawn it in a couple of hours. a smile on his face as he looked at his masterpiece.
"what about no" Jun said as he looked around the place. finally he spotted the perfect shirt
"what about this???" Sho looked up to see a smiling Jun. holding a plain t-shirt with some words on it. it was too blurred to make out what it said but he liked it.
"soo do u like it???" Jun asked as Sho stepped out of the dressing room wearing the t-shirt. Sho looked at himself in the mirror. turning around,and examining himself. he grinned and said
"i love it" this made Juns smile widen.he was starting to think that maybe he was wrong all along. that maybe Sho might like him....
"Jun are u okie???" Sho's voice stop the happy thoughts going through Juns head. Jun looked up to see Sho's concerned expression and smiled. Sho smiled back and took Juns hands leading him out of the shop. Jun was starting to get dizzy,the warmth of Shos hands in his was making his heart beat a million times a second. he thought he might get a heart attack until Sho stopped. Jun almost collided into him stopping himself just in time to barely touch Shos back.
"lets eat here" Sho turned to look at Jun. Jun stared back in shock. he was too close,way too close. he could feel Sho's warm breath on him. Sho's lips only inches away from his,he only needed to lean in and...Jun shook is head clearing any dirty thoughts he had and stared back at Sho.
"o-okay" Jun managed to say realizing at how hungry he was. they went into the restarant together hand in hand and sat down at the nearest table.it was then that he noticed that they were still holding hands,that Sho was sitting very close to him. his face turned red and he looked out the window to hide himself. the sun was setting over the trees as Sho said "what do you want to eat??" Jun turned around to see Shos eyes staring at him. he choked back a small gasp and said
"a-anything is okay for me"
a couple minutes later there food arrived. it wasnt really alot,a couple of sidedishes and 2 bowls of ramen. without even thinking Jun started to pick up his chopstick and just dug in. not even realizing how hot the noodle was. too much had happened that day. the way Sho was inches away from him,his hand in his,and how close his lips was from his. it was too much to handle all at once. before he knew it he was done,he sat back and closed his eyes. listening to the sound of the restaurant. until Sho said
"Jun??are you ready to go?"
it took him a moment to realize that he was still with sho. he opened his eyes,blushing.
"yeaa" he said with a tired smile
they paid and left the restaurant a comfortable silence falling over them. it was then that he felt warmth in his hands. he looked down and saw Shos hands in his. he smiled,"i wish time could freeze at this moment".after walking hand in hand for a while Sho stopped. Jun looked around and his heart sank. they arrived at his house,it was time to say goodbye.
"well i had an awesome day" Sho said with a smile. but Jun could tell he was sad by the look in his eyes.
"yeah,same here. uhhhh maybe we should do this another time??"Jun could feel himself getting red,but he didnt really care.
Sho's face lit up and said"yes,we should. mmmm how about next Wednesday??"
Jun could only nod,not trusting himself to talk.
"well bye then" Sho leaned forward and planted a kiss on Juns cheeks. Juns eyes went wide,his whole face turned red. before he could do anything,Sho was gone. waving goodbye to him as he runs off.Jun went inside his house a huge grin on his face. he went upstairs to his bedroom,he looked up and down on the shelf until he found a notebook. he knew it was silly to do these things but he couldnt help himself. he wrote Shos name in handwritng in the middle of the page and started to draw hearts around his name.somewhere out there Sho was doing the exact same thing,and at the same time they thought
"look at all those hearts around your name"