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You are simply the biggest PBJ fan there ever was.
You have written over a hundred fics for this otp, drawn gigs of fanart, and have the most viewed amvs on Youtube. Hell, even your room is decked out in gear sporting your two favorite rapping, gay trolls.
Your life is PBJ, okay? It’s kind of one of the best ships to ever sail in the entire fandom. At least that’s what you think. And you’re pretty sure you’re right too because you only ship the best ships in fandom’s armada.
The only problem with all this love you have for your ship is that you can’t tell anyone in fandom who you really are. You can’t tell anyone in fandom who you are because, well.
You’re Andrew Hussie.
It’s Friday night and you’re sitting on Tumblr scrolling through the PBJ tag like you do every night, but, bleh, nothing new. Why doesn’t anyone add more stuff? There’s like one new fic and you hate it. Something about them being baristas in an eco-conscious coffee shop or something. Ugh, the characterization is so off. You gave your readers two of the best characters to ever pair together yet here they are, offering nothing up in return.
If you were a God, there would be hell fires everywhere.
You decide to look through some of the old stuff you reblogged a little while back. Oh, man, leppu’s art is awesome. Plus, she totally gets how the pairing works. Sticks true to your canon, definitely.
The glow of your laptop eminates onto your laminated posters of Gamzee and Tavros having sloppy makeouts dressed as pandas. Yes, cute. Very cute. But everything about your otp is cute.
You wish you could have thrown in some more stuff with them in canon, but people would call it pandering. Ugh, fandom just doesn’t get you at all. You’re not pandering, it just makes sense, okay? GamTav is your gift to fandom and fandom needs to get their heads out of their collective asses and accept it with a smile.
Some homestucks have! And you grin as you see gifs of Tavros and Gamzee making out.
Yes.
Kiss.
Yes, that is good.
Yes, Tavros; speak Spanish and touch his dick. Okay, yup, good. Good.
Scrolling through some of your favorite blogs, you decide to go through Unpopular Homestuck Opinions. Some of them you agree with, but really. Shippers gonna ship. You wonder why so many tools seem to post opinions there, but then you realize that’s why the opinions are unpopular.
Then you see one stating PBJ is the worst ship.
You’re awestruck for a moment because, what. No. PBJ is the best ship, who the hell is this ignorant motherfucker? Nope. Nope. You type a long essay of a response why the op is an uneducated douchewaffle who just can’t appreciate how perfect your otp is and how op will never get laid and die alone instead of with a hot seme like Gamzee.
Fuck OP. He/She or whoever doesn’t know shit.
Ugh, you are so over tumblr tonight. You flip off your screen before storming into your kitchen without pants to make nutella sandwiches before marathoning sherlock, doctor who, and psych.
You think you should update MSPA.
You then realize that OP will be reading your update and decide to just not update for a few days to make OP pay.
Yeah. Let’s see how they like that.
You cry openly about how no one understands your otp feels as nutella drips onto your Gamzee shirt. You’re so mad you had to kill Tav off because omg all the sadstuck pbj fanart/fic is so sad. Like, why does fandom do it so well. You don’t get it.
It’s tough being a PBJ shipper AND the creator of Homestuck.
It’s tough and no one understands.