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Dr. Liu,
Got your final report yesterday on Project LV-426. I'm amazed. Great work all around. It's been forwarded to the Chair, our friends at the Pentagon, the Defense Appropriations Committee, and DARPA. The acid-resistant armor is something that should really catch their eye.
We're expecting some big grant money from this.
Burke
Burke,
Did you read even the executive summary of my report? There are some interesting biomaterials that we could work with, but I stressed, multiple times, that this creature is far too dangerous to even consider using in military research projects. It's aggressive, stupid, vicious, aggressive, impossible to train, and did I mention aggressive?
. . .their limbs work on hydraulic principles and operate under pressure, which is why they splurt like a popped water balloon when they get hit in those Marine camera feeds we saw. A slight wound to a limb takes them right the hell out of commission, and now your troops have to deal with an insanely aggressive and stupid xenomorphic K-9 unit that oh by the way IS BLEEDING ACID.
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I can't do better than David's pull-quote for this one. It is hilarious and I know nothing — literally nothing — about the canon, I don't even know what *medium* it's in, and I have read this approximately 1974 times since it was published.
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Brilliant, witty and a slightly scary Aliens story, from the point of view of scientists studying 'Elvis' -- one of the alien lifeforms. Told in the epistolary format and all the funnier for it.
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REC X 1000
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This story is HILARIOUS. I want to read it again and again and again...
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Awesome epistolary horror-comedy. Or comedy-horror. Or just awesome.
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AWESOME