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    Summary

    Pete is a coot, Patrick is a nightingale.

    This is the only love story you will ever read that features the phrase "corkscrew penises". If you're lucky.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,831
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    Kudos:
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    Bookmarks:
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  2. 27 May 2017

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  3. 27 May 2017

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  4. 23 Feb 2017

    Rec

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    Bookmark Notes:

    "I always thought I'd grow to be a beautiful swan," Pete says, staring at his plumage.

    "Nope, sorry," Joe says. "You're a coot." He’s still a duckling. Pete doesn't know why he's taking advice from someone who hasn't even been through their first molt yet.

    Dispirited, Pete lays his beak on a water lilly. “I could have a growth spurt?”

    Joe just looks at him. "Still a coot."

    "I hate you," Pete says. "I know why your parents drove you away from the brood now. Because you're annoying."

    "Takes one to know one," Joe says comfortably.

    Okay, yes, Pete's parents drove him away. Because ducks are assholes. Even vaguely sinister-looking ones. “My parents were dicks,” Pete says, to drive the point home. “So were yours.”

    “No, they were ducks,” Joe says, enunciating a little too carefully. “You seem to keep missing that point.”

    [ man i would actually burn my house down to see the movie version of this fic ]

  5. 20 Feb 2017

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    Bookmark Notes:

    The legendary coot AU.

  6. 06 Oct 2016

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  7. 29 Sep 2016

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  8. 12 Jul 2016

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  9. 03 Jun 2016

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  10. 30 Jan 2016

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  11. 21 Jan 2016

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  12. 16 Jan 2016

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  13. 17 Dec 2015

    Rec

    Bookmark Notes:

    THEY'RE BIRDS AND IT'S ADORABLE

  14. 26 Oct 2015

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  15. 18 Sep 2015

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  16. 01 Sep 2015

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  17. 28 Aug 2015

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  18. 23 Aug 2015

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  19. 12 Jul 2015

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  20. 17 Jun 2015

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    Bookmark Notes:

    *cackles*

  21. 13 Jun 2015

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