Chapter Text
“How have you been, John?”
To be honest it always struck John as a deeply stupid question, just how many of Ella’s clients he wondered came to see her when they were fine, when everything was tickety-boo? Without further thought he gave his stock answer,
“Fine, you?”
She smiled, a brief fugitive thing, before she made a note on the pad that was on her knee. John had long since stopped reading the notes; he found it hard to care these days. He glanced around the room and remembered he used to be irritated by the planned, forced calm of the room, the long windows with their views out to the tasteful garden, bringing in calming natural light; he’d hated it back before, now he could barely be bothered to even notice it.
“I’m fine, John. Have you come in for anything in particular?”
A thousand answers clamoured in John’s head becoming white noise and then a single chord,
“Just because he’s not here anymore.”
“That isn’t going to change, John. I’m sorry.”
“I know it won’t,” John paused and the pause elongated while Ella waited for him to continue, “but somehow I’m still waiting.”
“Do you think that’s healthy?”
Always a bloody question, always bloody neutral, always careful not to judge,
“I don’t know, but I’ll be waiting, just ... because ...”