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"So, wait. Explain to me again just how it was decided that my sister needed to marry Jayne of all people so you could pull this job off. I'm just dying to know."
"Simon, honey—"
"Not now, Kaylee. I'm really hoping there was a good reason. Not just, you know, convenience."
"Jayne had the shoulders for the suit—"
"Made Mal look right scrawny, it did."
"So 'Nara brushed up his manners for it - didja know Jayne can speak fancy, Simon? Guess his Mama taught him proper! - an' then it was me or River, 'cause it would've been suspicious if he went and didn't have a wife, an' 'Nara said she was too fancy an' Companion rules an' all an' Zoe don't want nobody but Wash, an' I said I wouldn't, thanks—"
"And I volunteered."
"River! Jayne?"
"Necessary."
"We can get you a divorce!"
"The definition of 'volunteer' is 'willing'. Willing, in this case, is synonymous with 'eager'."
"But— Jayne?"
"Quit being a boob, Simon."