In retrospect, there are a lot of things that Guy would do differently. Especially today. Especially tonight.
"And the way her fifth tentacle moo-oves..."
No, scratch that.
"Well it is like the fiiiiiiiiii-ahr of an exploding ga-la-xeeeeee..."
Especially last week. All last week. The entirety of it. He wanted to strip it from existence.
"And I love how her seventeenth gallbladder feels against my toes..."
Since that was beyond his abilities, he was probably going to have to cut his ears off with a broken beer bottle.
"My body is filled with traitorous desire--"
"Stop it! Stop! Ring--please--stop translating. Stop translating." Guy slumped against the counter. "I don't know what's worse--the fact that they butchered "Bye Bye Bye," or that they call this music." Or the fact that he had spent a whole week promoting tonight's Karaoke Night because aliens apparently had no concept of karaoke.
He was beginning to realize that had been a good thing.
Kyle elbowed him.
"Be nice. Just because it isn't what we'd call music, doesn't mean they don't enjoy."
"Yeah, yeah...infinite diversity in infinite combinations my ass. They suck."
Hal snorted into his drink. "Yeah, because you were so good when you were up there."
"Shut up, Hal. You suck. I rock. Kyle, tell him I rock."
"Mmhmm. I think I'm going to go up there next."
Alarmed, Hal looked up from his drink. "No--"
"You know what Kyle? I think that would be a great idea. Go show these guys what real singing sounds like." Guy grinned as he gave his partner a shove toward the makeshift stage.
"You have heard Kyle sing, haven't you?"
"Everyday in the shower. Figure if I leave him up there long enough, the rest of them'll shut up and clear out and we can forget this ever happened."
"Neeeeeeaaaaaaaar...faaaaaaaaaaaaaar...where-EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHver you aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee! I bee-leeve that the huh-art does--hey, where is everyone? Are we closed? Guy? Hal? Hey! Where'd everyone go?"