"Why is there a ring."
For a second, Steve thinks this is just a very bad dream. He blinks hard, twice.
"Steve," Tony says, his eyes almost comically wide. "Why is there a ring." His voice is on the edge of hysteria, and, shit, people are noticing.
Rhodey's eyebrows are up to where his hair should be, Pepper has a hand clapped over her mouth, and Clint looks over to check why Tony hasn't answered his question to where the toaster is before his eyes track where Pepper, Rhodey, Tony and Steve are looking before putting two and two together.
"Fuck," Clint says, and that makes Natasha, Bruce and Thor look.
Thor finally shuts up about the wonders of tanning machines.
Steve's face is on fire. He has a huge urge to fling himself out of the nearest window.
He had reached into his pocket to get a goddamn pen, and the ring had fallen out and had rolled to a rest at Steve's feet.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Roll with the punches, moron, Steve thinks, and, since it had almost been 8 seconds since anyone has said anything, he drops to one knee and grabs the ring.
Tony chokes a bit.
Pepper makes a muffled squeaking noise from behind her hand.
"Tony Stark," Steve says, and his voice does not shake, damnit.
"Will you-" what the hell do I say what is the proper way to do this oh god everyone's staring what version do I say "-do me the honour of becoming my husband?"
Which is usually not a good sign, even when you're not proposing.
Which Steve is.
Proposing, that is.
As in marriage.
"Hey, look at the time, I told the board I'd have that plane done by Thursday and it's Friday, I should probably get working on that, I'm hungry, we should get takeout, does everybody like takeout-" Tony chokes the whole thing while half-running towards the stairs, before disappearing around the corner.
The floor is actually quite hard. Steve's knee is sort of beginning to twinge.
Steve opens the door carefully, and Tony reacts like he thought he would.
"-was a really, really bad idea Steve, what were you thinking, it's like the king of bad ideas, marrying me is a horrible idea and will end in disaster and bloodshed and you crying and I don't want you to cry, you're fine not crying, I like you not crying, well, I like you crying, too, but I like you better not crying and-"
"Tony, breathe," Steve says, and Tony pulls in a huge, shaky breath.
And then continues. Of course. "-and marrying me will make you cry and I don't want you to cry, I've already said that, shit, I say a lot of things, I should really-"
"Yes, you should," Steve says. "Why will marrying you make me cry, exactly?"
Tony rocks back and forth on his feet, one hand at the back of his neck. "Well, not cry, probably, but make you sad, because I'll do something stupid, like flirt with someone, which doesn't mean anything, I swear to god, it's just built in, and I-"
"Yeah, I get that," Steve says. "Is that it? You'll flirt with someone? That's the kiss of death?"
"No, I'll do something worse, which I can't think of that the moment, but it'll be a doozy, I guarantee it and please don't hate me, Steve."
Steve sighs. "I don't hate you, Tony. Although you did just leave me alone in a room full of all of our friends after I proposed to you."
"Fuck," Tony says. "I'm sorry, honestly, I just-"
Steve laughs softly. "Tony, you think I wasn't? I wasn't even supposed to propose to you yet, the ring just fell out accidentally. I had a whole thing planned for next week, fireworks, picnic, candlelight- it was very romantic. When the ring fell out of my pocket, I, uh. Sort of freaked out a bit, too. Partly because it means I just wasted a few thousand dollars on our private booking, but yeah. I went with it."
"You... went with it."
"Yep. I proposed to you on the kitchen floor with everyone staring. I think I actually did quite well, considering. Your reaction might need a bit of work, though," Steve adds.
Tony barks out a laugh and rubs at the scruff on his chin. "Yeah, I think so."
Steve inhales quickly. "Can we try again?"
Tony goes stiff. His voice goes up a few octaves. "Try what again?"
Steve raises an eyebrow at him.
Tony runs a hand over his face. "Ahhh. Sure."
"Very encouraging," Steve says.
"Just do it," Tony says, taking small jumps on the spot like he's preparing for a marathon. "Quick and fast, like a bandage."
"Getting engaged is like ripping off a bandage?" Steve says sarcastically. "What on earth will the wedding be like?"
"Oh, god, don't mention a wedding, I'm still getting used to the idea of being engaged, you asshole," Tony groans.
Steve pecks him on the cheek and drops to one knee.
"Waitwaitwait." Tony holds up a hand.
A few seconds pass.
Tony takes a deep breath. "Okay, go."
Steve's smile flickers into a grin.
"Tony Stark," he says, and pauses, giving Tony a second or two not to run away screaming. "Will you. Do me the honour. Of becoming my husband?"
"Yep," Tony blurts, and his knees hit the floor as he drags Steve in for a kiss.