Work Header

On any other day, this would be considered normal

Work Text:

It happens after they intercept the flash drive from one of Max's couriers, by which they mean Pooch tackles him to the ground, Aisha beats the shit out of him and Jensen grabs the flash drive and runs like hell.

Most of what's on the drive is useless to them. Half-baked plots that don't mention people or places, and a list of what appears to be a dozen warlords, with nothing to indicate why they're being listed. So, yeah, there's stuff on there, but it's nothing Clay thinks of as particularly useful, which is why he leaves Jensen trawling through the data while he grabs the bottle of whiskey that's been sitting there since he won it off Cougar in a poker game and heads back to his room.

He and Aisha have made pretty good inroads into the bottle when Jensen bursts into the room. It takes Clay long moments to process the fact that their hacker is now standing in the doorway, clad in boxer shorts and a lurid green t-shirt, partly because it means Aisha is now climbing off his lap and partly because he's trying to work out if what Jensen is saying is actually what Jensen is saying, or if it's the nearly half-bottle of liquor he's just downed talking. After all, Jensen speaks a lot of crap at times, but the entire I think Max is going to use Stonehenge to blow up the world is a little bizarre, even for him.

Turns out, though, he's not far wrong and, apparently, it's not even the first time.

"See!" Jensen says, pointing to the laptop screen after they've all finished reading over his shoulder. "I haven't fucking cracked."

Pooch coughs as Jensen glares at him pointedly, only turning his attention back to the laptop when Cougar places a hand on the back of his neck, his thumb rubbing circles over skin.

Clay looks away, gaze falling on Aisha just as she's rolling her eyes. "Okay, fine," she says. "Pooch was wrong and you haven't taken a trip into crazyland, but that still doesn't explain how Max is supposedly going to use an ancient British monument to destroy the world."

Jensen launches into an explanation and Clay's sure it would make sense if he could focus on anything other than every seventh word. Aisha's standing slightly in front of him, lifting her foot and running it over his calf, and he's pretty sure half of the blood in his body is draining directly into his dick. Of course, that means that the blood that isn't in his dick is fighting a losing battle against the amount of alcohol in his body, which means all Clay's hearing is Blah blah blah mechanism blah blah blah pyramids blah blah blah guy who stopped it the last time--

Wait, what--

"Hold on." Jensen looks kind of annoyed that Clay stopped him mid-flow. "The last time it happened, someone stopped it?" And he's still not sure how his life became so insane that talking about the last time Stonehenge tried to start an apocalypse isn't actually the craziest thing he's done this month.

"Yes," Jensen nods. "Jacob Glaser. He hosts a radio show about conspiracy theories."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Clay barely banks down on the groan. A conspiracy nut. Great. Just what they need.

"He actually only lives a couple of states over," Jensen continues. "We can be there in less than a day."

And that is how they find themselves on a roadtrip.


The guy that opens the door's not exactly what Clay's expecting. Short and wiry and staring at Clay with careful suspicion written in blue. "Yes?"

But any introduction Clay's about to make dies as Jensen elbows his way in. "Dr Glaser, it's great to meet you, I'm such a fan." Because, after he'd managed to find one of the shows online, Jensen had had them listening to podcasts for the past 24 hours, squirming in his seat and agreeing with everything from cryogenically suspended former presidents hidden under the Whitehouse to robot heads on the moon.

And Clay suddenly developed a whole new appreciation for Cougar's patience.

Glaser is looking at Jensen like he's trying to decide if he should shut the door in his face or call the cops. Clay's not sure if it's the way Jensen's bouncing on the balls of his feet or the fact that he just dropped And someone's trying to trigger Stonehenge into another apocalypse-- into the conversation.

It's another few moments before Glaser finally sighs and opens the door wider. "You'd all better come in, then."


Glaser's surprisingly calm for someone who has five complete strangers in his house, with one of them telling him he needs to help them stop the end of the world.

Clay actually suspects that Jensen's been preparing the speech in his head since they got in the truck, working up to his final pitch and the And you're the only one that can help us, Dr Glaser--

Glaser looks down at the coffee in his hands; long, elegant fingers wrapped around the mug and tapping out a soft tattoo. "I would," Jensen's eyes jerk up from where they're staring at Glaser's hands, "but if this Max seriously thinks he's going to trigger Stonehenge again, he's going to be disappointed."

"How so?" Clay asks.

"Well, to start anything, he's going to need three things: the pyramid in Maine, the Antikythera mechanism and access to Stonehenge." Glaser ticks the list off on his fingers and, great, now Cougar's staring at the guy's hands. "The pyramid's not there any more thanks to some tactically placed explosives courtesy of the army, the Antikythera mechanism is being held by the British secret service, just in case they need it again and, finally, they have Stonehenge locked down and under constant surveillance. They even cut down the surrounding forest and put a fence up, just to make sure no one can sneak up on it."

"Oh. You sure?" Jensen asks, and damn if the kid doesn't sound disappointed.

Glaser nods. "Sorry. I guess you'll have to save the world some other time." And the thing is, he kinda does sound sorry about it, as well.

"Well, is it possible to have your number?" And the last time Clay heard Jensen sound this fucking coy was when he was dancing around Cougar. "You know, just in case we need it?"

There's a smirk on Cougar's face that he's just too slow to hide as Glaser looks at Jensen for long seconds before nodding. Grabbing a pen off the coffee table, he scribbles some numbers down on a scrap of paper, holding it out for Jensen to take.

Jensen curls his fingers around the paper, sliding over Glaser's fingers as he does so. And Clay's got to admit, their boy is good. "Thanks," he smiles, slipping it into his back pocket.

It's too late to drive back that night, not after they spent 24 hours in the truck getting here, swapping out drivers so they didn't have to stop.

Pooch's question of whether Glaser knows any motels near is met with a few moment's silence before There's a sofa bed upstairs and enough blankets for the rest of you to sleep down here.

Aisha claims the sofa bed, pointedly commenting that no one had better disturb her until she's had at least eight hours sleep. Glaser directs Pooch and Cougar to the cupboard that holds the blankets, while Jensen helps him to clean away the mugs they've all been drinking out of, talking in soft tones as they head into the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later and Clay and Pooch have a couch each and there's a pile of blanket on the floor for Jensen and Cougar. It's not too bad. Clay's slept in worse places and, actually, Glaser's couch is kind of comfortable.


The sun is streaming in through the windows when Clay finally wakes up. Pooch is still snoring on the other couch but the pile of blankets on the floor is empty. Slipping out from under the blanket, Clay pads over to the stairs, figuring that it's close enough to the eight hours having passed that Aisha won't try to kill him.

When he gets to the top of the stairs, the door to the left of him is slightly open, wide enough that Clay can see into the room and--

Huh. Well, at least that explains why Jensen and Cougar weren't downstairs.

Jensen's arm is across Glaser's stomach, with Cougar's leg over both of them. There are clothes all over the floor, and Clay's more than sure the Mickey Mouse boxer shorts hanging off the window frame are Jensen's. Looking back at the bed, Clay stops slightly, realising Cougar's watching him through narrowed eyes. He's not sure what the sniper's thinking, but he can see the tense lines of Cougar's shoulder.

Shaking his head, Clay smirks, raising a hand in supplication until Cougar grins back at him and lays his head back on the pillow.

Moving away, Clay just closes the door behind him and wonders which room Aisha's in.