1. Ever since that trip to Ireland he'd taken the summer before senior year, even looking at green food coloring gives him a hangover headache. Carter clucks in sympathy when he
whines expresses his concern and says something about how the dyes used in Ireland might be plant based and it is possible that it somehow enhances the effects and aftereffects of alcohol. Jack decides again that she's an excellent second in command
2. "It's disrespectful! You've got doctorates - plural! People shouldn't be randomly serenading you with in the halls."
"You're just jealous of other people calling me Danny," Daniel argues cheerfully, waving at a group of marines singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs as they pass.
"It's my pet name and I earned it." Jack glares darkly at the passing soldiers, who take a leaf from Daniel's book and ignore him.
"Don't worry Jack. It's just this one time. I promise not to respect them in the morning."
Jack doesn't flip him off, just shoots him an ineffectual scowl and walks away.
Daniel shouts down the hall after him, "But baby, those random strangers meant nothing to me." And this time Jack does flip him off over his shoulder, ignoring the way Daniel's laughter echoes merrily off the hallway and follows him all the way to the elevator.
3. Not only is it hard to find someone on a military base not wearing any green at all, but Jack's not allowed to pinch them anyway. "Sexual harassment and conduct unbecoming!" Jack's expresses his outrage loudly and to the only person who'll listen to him. "That's the best part of the holiday." Especially since Ireland had ruined green beer for him forever.
Teal'c reads the memo carefully before arching an elegant eyebrow at his friend. "You may attempt to pinch me."
Jack really doesn't like the way Teal'c says 'attempt' so he smiles and waves away the offer. "Nah, the others might get jealous."
4. "For crying out loud! Whose brilliant idea was it to make boiled cabbage underground?"
Jack immediately retreats to medical. "Isn't making that stuff down here a health hazard?" he asks Dr. Fraiser seriously.
"It's not a closed environment, Colonel, we have plenty of ventilation. Besides," Janet's voice is mild but she's got that steely eyed look that usually leads to Jack being poked by something or somewhere he doesn't want being poked. "I like corned beef and cabbage."
"Of course you do, you're practically a leprechaun." Jack thinks it's a witty retort himself, but he's not stupid enough to say it loud enough to be heard. He likes having no new holes and nothing in the ones God gave him.
5. "Leprechauns, sir! They were everywhere." Jack shudders visibly and looks around to his team for support.
"Jack, they weren't actually leprechauns." Daniel is holding his notebook suspiciously high over his face, but Jack can hear the laughter he's hiding.
"Although the people on MR2-495 were unusually small," Carter sounds thoughtful, but that could just be the way she's biting her lower lip while she talks.
"As well as possessing an uncommon fondness for green." There you go, he can always count on Teal'c to back him up.
"But the worst part," Jack assures General Hammond, "is was the way they kept trying to swipe our stuff."
That his team can agree on. They were mildly traumatized by the quick hands of their small hosts, but Jack is the only one who actually develops leprechaun phobia from it.
1. Sam loves Saint Patrick's Day. A holiday that doesn't require her to take time off from work is the best holiday ever in her book.
And while Sam doesn't exactly take pleasure in her CO's discomfort, there's something to be said for a whole day just begging to be used for payback. A couple of phone calls and Teal'c and Daniel join her in mysteriously choosing blue BDUs on the one day they really should wear green. The whole team gets an entire day of watching the Colonel's hands twitch every time they're in pinching distance. You'd think it'd get old, but it really doesn't. Besides, green is her favorite color.