My heart pounds as I'm pushed to the ground, my eyes a mixture of panic and an odd kind of dullness, my cheeks flushed as his hand caress my sides gently, teasingly. How like him. This is how it always happens… He tries to lead me into a false sense of security, before he strikes.
Fingernails dig into my pale skin, but I hardly react, used to it by now. His breaths are heavy and deep in my ear, lips brushing against my neck, before teeth sink in, making me gasp despite my resolve to stay silent. But it's better this way… Right?
He chuckles, his hips straddling my own, own hand tearing itself away from my side, to yank at my hair.
"Hurts?" he questions, his voice raspy and husky with arousal. For a moment I don't respond, but I quicken myself as his grip tightens.
"H-hai…" I stutter out. I can feel the smirk against my neck as he laps at the blood there. I shiver as slight pleasure courses through me from the hot tongue against my skin.
"Hai… Oujisama…" I murmur, and I can practically hear him purr, before he buries his teeth into my shoulder, making me keen in pain. He loves it when I say that. It's another kink besides what he's doing now. To pretend this is more forbidden than it's already is…
I wonder as he feasts on me, for lack of a better word, why exactly he likes hurting me, tormenting me, making me feel like I'm dirty and unworthy… Perhaps he hates himself? Me? I'm not sure. This all started a little after she told us apart, especially after the date…
Another gasp is wrenched from my lips and quickly followed by a groan, my own breaths heavy now as he begins to rock sinfully against me, gripping tightly as he abuses me. It's not pleasurable in any way-I think?-, and I feel guilty that it doesn't. I want to enjoy this too, to have the same sick pleasure he has… But I can't… I don't… I jolt slightly as he moans.
This time with him… That happens every day, every night, sometimes even in school… makes me nervous. Terribly so. Sometimes, he taunts me with more than those few words he said a bit earlier. He likes to ask me if I want to run, and I have to answer that I do, that I long to, that I utterly hate this. But… That's not… entirely true…
I… I love him… so much… I hate what he does… But I love him. It doesn't make sense does it? That I hate his actions but not himself? Heh… He's so much nicer, if still harsh when he isn't doing this. No one would expect it of him, ne? To be this rough, this perverted. Whenever, in our act, he clutches, or holds, or anything, he finds ways to bring slight pain to me… A nip here as he tends to my 'wound' from scalding tea, a baring of nails against my skin as he holds onto me. It's something he can help but doing, he used to say. He doesn't say it anymore. He says I don't understand.
Me? Not understand? Ha! I'm his other half! I should understand! And I think I could find some way that I would, if he would tell me, WHY he does this. But he won't say.
I can feel him nearing his climax, my own breaths gasping out of me as he mixes pleasure and pain, something he'll do to get me to climax as well, because he knows I don't want to. I gasp and whimper wildly, tossing my head and yowling as he yanks harshly at my hair, connecting our lips and quickly drawing blood. I clutch onto him out of reflex, crying out his name needily, and I know he's smirking, he always does when I do that.
When we are both spent, him slumped against me, I can feel him about to leave, to make himself more presentable. Before I can stop myself, I clutch his wrist, earning an irritated and threatening growl.
"Let go! Come on! You have to go to Haruhi for your date, ne, aniki?" he spits and teases at the same time. He tries to get away, and I quickly take his face in my hands and kiss him soundly, letting my blood fall onto his lips, which calms him slightly. When we part, I whisper, softly, to his darkened amber orbs.
"I'll… I'll let you do this." I whispered, making his brows furrow. "I know I don't have a choice but… if this is what makes you happy… to do this to your spitting image… then… I'll let you take pain from me to make you feel better… Kaoru."