Work Text:
So Mikey has this thing about electronics. Mainly, he can't treat them like a normal person does.
The cell phone may as well be surgically attached, Frank avoids Mikey's laptop like the plague because last time he went near it the screensaver was laughing Skullbutt the Tormenter underwear and he really, really doesn't want to know, the coffee pot is psychically linked, hair dryers fry his poor brain - Frank can think of no other reason taking one into the shower seemed like a good idea to Mikey, seriously - and toasters— Well, there's a long and sordid history there, which apparently starts with elementary school-aged Mikey managing to set one on fire and culminates its current episode in the tableau before him.
To whit: the bread bag is open, bread scattered across the floor (some of it's actually toasted, too; what a fucking waste), Mikey's breathing hard and wielding a hammer (where the hell did he even find it on the tour bus?), the toaster has two butter knifes, a fork, three spoons, and a steak knife sticking out of it, and is dented and smoking (but thankfully unplugged), and really, it's sheer morbid curiosity that makes him ask.
"Holy shit, Mikeyway, what the fuck did the poor thing ever do to you?"
"It wouldn't give me my toast," Mikey replies, and eyes the toaster like he wants to hit it again.
"So you... jabbed metal implements into it - please for the love of God tell me you unplugged it first - then beat the crap out of it?"
"Yes." Mikey shifts the hammer. "It still hasn't given me my toast."
Frank paused. "Why would that ever strike you as logical?"
"I'm pretty sure it's haunted," Mikey adds, like he didn't even hear.
Frank throws his hands up in the air, completely at a loss. "I never thought I'd say this, but Gerard is actually the more sane Waybro. Do you realise how much you now owe me in psychiatric care?" he asks indignantly. He doesn't wait for an answer, just adds, "Too fucking much!" before stalking out of the kitchen.
He is somehow completely unsurprised to hear the crash of hammer-on-toaster once he leaves.
