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Honey I Shrunk the Gate Team

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“Oh very funny,” Doctor Lee replies with a bite. “Ha. Ha, but I’m not falling for that.” He clutches his data pad to his chest and makes to move into the lab.

“No!” Two marines, General Landry, Doctor Weir, and Colonels Carter and Mitchell shout, snatching at the scientist’s lab coat and yanking him back. He stares up at them wildly.

“You mean they’ve seriously shrunk?” He asks, mouth agape, which is why the highest ranking officers of the SGC can be found crawling across Samantha Carter’s lab with magnifying glasses, scouring the dirty concrete floors for any signs of the shrunken SGA-1.

“This is ridiculous!” Rodney shouts, staring up at the giants towering over them. “Less than an inch tall and my brain is still larger than theirs!”

“Rodney, calm down. Alright? They’ll find us and put us right and everything is going—“ Sheppard tries but Rodney turns and glares.

“I swear Colonel if you say ‘okay’ I will personally find a way to re-grow and step on you myself.” Sheppard holds up his hands in surrender.

“OVER HERE!” Rodney yells.

“Rodney, I do not believe any amount of yelling any of us could do would be loud enough for them to hear,” Teyla points out reasonably. Rodney stares at her.

“HELP!”

“Maybe I should shoot them?” Ronon suggests, which incidentally has been his strategic contribution to the last three missions.

“Couldn’t hurt them right?” John asks, looking at Rodney.

“Unfortunately not,” Rodney huffs. Ronon shrugs and aims his gun at Mitchell’s leg, but they’re too small and he’s still too far away for it to have any effect. They sit up against the edge of Sam’s lab counter and wait. Minutes pass without any interest as the team watches the group of scientists stooping over looking for them.

Through the silence Rodney suddenly gasps loudly.

“Oh. My. God.” Teyla, Ronon, and John turn to the Doctor in question before tracing his gaze. Ronon smirks, John’s eyebrow raise and Teyla scowls at each of them reprovingly.

Samantha Carter is bent low, having been just on her way out of the SGC she is wearing a low cut blouse, ruffled and loose at the top where she is hunched low.

“Wow.” Rodney says, in awe.

“Hmm,” John hums appreciatively.

“Heh,” Ronon smirks.

“Men,” Teyla sighs, burying her face in an open palm.