Actions

Work Header

Blackmail

Work Text:

The short clip flew around the department like wildfire, going from inbox to inbox. Someone posted it on Facebook, and from there it went even farther.

Fuzzy phone video, but the images were unmistakable.

John, trying to half-carry, half-walk a delirious Sherlock. “Greg, for fuck’s sake, put down the camera and help me!”

The camera only shakes in response as the holder is laughing too hard to be still.

Sherlock’s head falls over onto John’s shoulder and he mutters something about a boomerang. “…s’th’ new sexy.”

“Sherlock, shut up.” John tries to manoeuvre the tall, now awkwardly lanky man down the stairs. “Greg, I swear to god if we fall, I’m going to kick your arse.”

The camera follows their awkward procession down the stairs. The voice behind the camera says, “Hey, Sherlock. What happened to you?”

The drugged man lifts his head from John’s shoulder and tries to focus towards the voice, eyes bleary and half-open. “The woman,” he says, attempting dignity, “took my coat.” He flails and almost drops out of John’s arms and down the staircase, waving an arm at the camera. “Wasn’t fair. Cheated.”

“Yeah? How’d she cheat?”

John attempts to drag Sherlock away from the camera but Sherlock puts up a fight, and tries (unsuccessfully) to stand on his own. Again, John barely saves him from a tumble. “Naked,” Sherlock says, glaring vaguely in the direction of the camera. “She was naked. And John liked it.” He sounds like a petulant five-year old denied ice cream.

“All right, that’s enough,” says John, and tips Sherlock over his shoulder with what appears to be tremendous effort. He staggers under the weight and the unwieldiness as Sherlock squawks and generally doesn’t help by flailing. But John catches him behind the knees and steadies him before continuing down the staircase.

The video cuts out shortly after when it’s clear that the camera operator is doubled over laughing.

Strangely, two hours after it surfaced, the video disappeared from the internet entirely. It became something of a myth in the Met among those who hadn’t seen it, an urban legend.

But now every time Mycroft needs Sherlock to do something for him, all he has to say is, “Who took your coat, again?”