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The Human Torch Gets Lit

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The Human Torch Gets Lit


Logan looked at the clock for the fourth time in two minutes. Dammit. He didn’t care for sentry duty; it was like waiting, doing nothing, and Hell combined. Then he heard his mostly ignored phone; which was sitting on the edge of one of the consoles, chirp.


This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?


“What is this?” Logan yelled, claws elongating and shortening, never fully retracting. He wasn’t necessarily talking to anyone.


“A demonstrative adjective, I believe,” Spider-Man said, appearing relaxed, sitting just outside the window; at least that was the best way Logan knew how to describe how the man’s feet and lower back were suspended against the side of the building. Logan was tempted to lean out the window beside Spider-Man, the one that arachnid-hybrid was using to get in and out of the building, and hit him. Hard. Instead, he just leaned out the window and stuck the phone in front of Spider-Man’s face.


“This!” He waved one of his claws at his phone and indicated the text message.


“Oh, that. Yeah, I got that too.” Logan did not want to know where the other Avenger was keeping his phone.


He decided to ask a more relevant question. “Who is it from and why am I getting it?”


“Well, it sounds like it was sent to all the Avengers.”


“All?” Logan asked, a little incredulous, but Spider-Man’s reaction was to shrug.


“So who is it from?” he managed to grind out from between his clenched teeth. Some people thought Spider-Man was amusing but Logan mostly wanted to hit him and he suspected there was a smile underneath that mask.


“Johnny Storm.” Spider-Man didn’t let on if he knew why the man was sending a text asking others for his whereabouts at such a ridiculous hour of the morning, but Logan didn’t have to extend his imagination very far since the kid was a bit of a hot head and in so many, many ways.


Why does The Human Torch have my number?”


“I sure as hell didn’t give it to him.” Logan glared at him, but Spider-Man didn’t seem to notice which Logan considered another one of Spider-Man’s many annoying traits. People should be worried and afraid when he glared at them.


“You’re not going to try to talk me into getting someone to go find him?”


“Nah, if he’s able to send texts then he’s fine,” Spider-Man said, eyes still watching the sky.


“Where the hell is Torch?” Steve Rogers, the new world’s security agent who had hung up his shield (at least for the moment) came storming in. Logan watched Spider-Man swing inside through the window so that he could hang upside down from the ceiling as was his ridiculously annoying habit while inside the Tower. Hawkeye strolled in shortly after Steve’s uproarious entrance. Steve was cranky more often of late, but anyone who had to put up with Tony not to mention the likes of Hawkeye, Spider-Man, and The Human Torch might be prone to wanting to hit people. Logan could relate.


“Well, considering we have not seen any flashes of fire across the sky, I’d say he’s still too lit to fly,” Hawkeye’s smirk was as plain as the mask on his face. Oh, ha ha, Logan thought, the Torch was ‘lit’. He was surrounded by snarky annoying –


“Why is Torch texting me at four o’clock in the morning?” Tony came in after Hawkeye. “I did tell the Storm not to get soused.”


Logan really was going to hit someone, but who would he choose? Eenie, meanie, mine-y -


“He must really be flaming,” Spider-Man added helpfully.


Mo. Logan’s claws ripped through the air and cut web that was holding Spidy-Boy to the ceiling. He was quick enough to still land perfectly, but Logan felt better.


“Hey, what was that for?” Spider-Man asked.


“He’s just annoyed he didn’t get to go to the bar tonight. Plus he’s tired. He’s cranky when he’s tired,” Tony said helpfully. Logan considered using his claws on Iron Man’s suit the way some people used keys on the outside of cars, but decided an escalating prank war with the man who helped build a time machine was probably not the best idea.


Steve sighed heavily, bringing everyone’s attention back to him. “Do I need to find Maria and have her assign people to go find Johnny?”


“Nah, if he can text then he’s fine,” Hawkeye said.


What was with these people? “My watch is over,” Logan said. 


“Yes, that’s why Hawkeye and I are here, to take over watch dog duty,” Tony said. “Logan, don’t growl. I’m well aware that a wolverine is not related to canines.”


Everyone’s phones went off again in a chorus of chimes, alerts and dear God was that noise Tony’s cell phone made?


Uh, does anyone know how I ended up Florida?


“That boy has got to stop trying to out drink the God of Thunder,” Hawkeye commented at this new tidbit of information. And with that, Logan went to find his bed.