It isn’t obvious; this thing that’s going on between her brother and husband. In fact, she’s not even sure if it could even be classified as a ‘thing’. After all, things often have substance, not always a lot of substance but still... this is just a feeling, or a hunch, or maybe just a gust of wind howling against her ears when really, there isn’t anything there at all.
Just a feeling. But then feelings are things too aren’t they? And just because something’s not obvious, that doesn’t mean it’s not there. She can still feel it.
It started sometime after those strange weeks. That one where Chuck went to Paris without telling her and Devon was jumping at every shadow, afraid to leave the house. She’s still not sure what that was about but she's certain that had something to do with Chuck too.
This isn’t like that though. Not ‘Chuck caught up with a web of lies and conspiracy’ secret, but more like a subtle shift. She can’t quite put her finger on what it is but she knows it’s there, She can feel it in the air, how the atmosphere changes when Chuck and Devon are around each other.
It bothers her.
It isn’t that her husband is inappropriately touchy feely with Chuck, because let’s face it, Devon is always inappropriately touchy feely with him. He's inappropriately touchy feely with everyone. That's just who he is; kind of like a puppy in some ways, always friendly with wide grins and big hugs, never afraid to show affection (whether anyone wants it or not). That's the man she married and she’ll always love him for that.
This is different; whatever it is between her brother and her husband. The two of them they’ve gotten close.
She supposes it should be a good thing, two of the most important people in her life, being close. But this isn’t them being buddies kind of ‘close’; they're already ‘bros’ as Devon calls them. No this is more like them sharing a secret between them, or maybe more accurately, sharing a secret world. One no one else is invited to join, not even Morgan.
Not even her.
A part of her wonders why she didn’t see it sooner, but then she remembers, whatever this is, it wasn’t there before. Before, Chuck was just her slacker little brother, and Devon was just her boyfriend. They never looked at each other that way before.
She can see it now though. The way Devon looks at Chuck, just beyond the usual friendly smiles. There's a spark in his eyes, a hint of admiration and adoration and if she looks close enough, she can see it, small and barely there but growing by the second...
She doesn’t think either one of them notices it. Chuck and Devon aren’t the most observant of people after all. Still, just because they don’t notice it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Nor does it mean that they’ll never notice it.
It also doesn’t mean that Devon loves her any less. She knows this. Can see it in the way he looks at her, the same way he always does with eyes shining, face lighting up like he’s the luckiest man in the world just to be able to be here with her. It still makes her heart flutter.
The only difference is, now she can see glimpses of those looks between him and her brother too.
She thinks she should be jealous. Thinks she should be angry. And maybe she is, at least a little. She does know however that Chuck and Devon both love her more than anything. They’re good people, and even if (when) they do notice what’s going on between them, they still won’t betray her like that. She knows they wouldn’t.
Even if they suffer for it.
Because Devon would never leave her and despite her urging for Chuck to go out and get his own life, she knows deep down that she still needs him. Devon and Chuck, they’re the only family she has. Even with the return of her father, it’s still not the same. Chuck and Devon are her family. The ones she needs the most and she can’t imagine living the rest of her life without either one of them by her side.
So for now, she waits. She doesn’t know for how long. It could be a week, a month. It could be a year or even ten years. She waits because she doesn’t know if there’s anything else she can do, not with her whole family on the line.
She knows she can’t wait forever though. Chuck and Devon are both white knight types. She knows they’ll do anything and everything they can to keep her from getting hurt. She’s not sure she wants that. She doesn’t want them to hurt either. She supposes she’s a white knight too, so they’re all at an impasse.
Someday, someone is going to have to make a decision though.
She’s afraid that someone might have to be her.