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Giant Lizards are Much Better at Romance

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Tim frowned. The thing was drooling on him. He wasn’t opposed to giant lizards on principle, and this one had saved him from the most recent group of ninjas trying to kidnap him for Ra’s. But it was still a giant lizard.

And it was still drooling.

The creature groaned, huge chest rumbling and vibrating Tim’s bones, a small part of the scaled jaw rubbing up and down Tim’s body.

As the lizard continued rumbling, purring Tim decided, one car sized claw wrapped very carefully around Tim’s body lifting him up as it stalked forwards. This was quite awkward, Tim twisted around and watched with a raised eyebrow as the creature moved along.

“Hey Tim?”

Both eyebrows met in Tim’s hair as the happy rumble changed into a very tense and angry sounding growl.

“Yes Kon?”

Kon floated along, just far enough that the lizard glared and grumbled but didn’t lash out at the flying annoyance.

“Umm.” Kon seemed to be trying not laugh.

There would be revenge.

“Do you need some help? I mean it’s not trying to eat you right?”

At least he sounded slightly worried. Tim might not make his life a living hell then.

“Help would be nice.” Tim pushed at the hard skin, wincing a little as the lizard pressed him closer to it’s mouth and rumbled out more purring. “I think she might have mistaken me for…someone else.”

“You mean a lizard?” Kon was definitely laughing as he flew along beside the swearing lizard. “Well you are really moody and cold.”


“It’s really cute Tim, I think she likes you.”

Tim grinned viciously as the free claw slapped at Kon when he got too close.

“Kon do you really want me to run away with a giant lizard?”

“Umm.” Kon dropped a few feet below another careless swipe. “I’m not sure if I should answer that.”

“Kon if you’re not more romantic than a lizard.” Tim paused until he was sure that Kon was starting to sweat as he dodged more blows. Apparently the lizard could tell when Tim was annoyed and acted accordingly. He might need to keep it around.

“I’ll borrow Batman’s kryptonite katana and teach you.”