He was hallucinating. He didn't have a single foreign substance in his body and yet he was hallucinating. Because there was absolutely no way he was seeing what he thought he was seeing.
"What...the... what the.... what ?"
At that, Clint actually looked over at Tony from where he was plastered to Coulson's face what the hell, and blinked. "What?"
"You... Coul... what ?"
Tony could swear Coulson was laughing at him, for all his face didn't move a muscle.
Clint blinked again. "You didn't know ?"
"As far as he's concerned, I would have thought there'd be something in the rulebook. As for you, I thought you got a rash whenever you came within two feet of a suit! And he is pretty much the uber-suit and that is definitely less than two feet."
"We've been together for something like forever, man. Pretty sure everyone else knows. No idea how you missed it."
"I am going to have to gouge my eyes out now, you realize that, right?"
Clint grinned. It wasn't a pleasant expression for once, somehow. "Good thing you didn't walk in on me sucking his--"
"Okay! Okay! Just! Stop now!"
Tony fled before another word was spoken. Clint's snickering followed in his wake.
If only he had been hallucinating.
On the bright side, at least, the future mockery potential was through the roof. Always nice to be able to take something out of these situations.