Monica wept when they first kissed. Not because of the kiss, she wanted to be kissed by Dana, but because she was in mourning. In mourning for John, and for Mulder, and for the world.
They had lost so much.
She couldn't wrap her mind around how much had been lost. These were orders of magnitude she could not understand. Millions upon millions of humans, all dead.
Monica couldn't mourn for all of them. Instead, she just mourned the loss of her best friend. She thought she had to start somewhere, after all.
"Shhh," Dana whispered and pressed her warm lips against Monica's cold ones. Monica felt cold all over. Maybe she'd never get warm again.
For years she had waited for this and now she barely felt a thing except for the need to feel something. She needed to touch and to be touched and someone to make her feel human again.
"I'll make it better," Dana said and cupped Monica's face with her hand.
Tears were still rolling down her face as Dana took off Monica's shirt. She kissed them away lightly and Monica felt warm hands on her bare back.
When Dana stroked her breasts with her soft hands, Monica gasped. It had been too long since the last time someone had touched her.
Dana didn't take off her own clothes and Monica felt too weak to even move, let alone undress the other woman. It took all she had to help Dana with removing her own clothes.
"Do you want this?" Dana asked when Monica was almost naked.
She nodded. "Yes," she whispered and Dana removed her last item of clothing. She wanted to forget. To feel.
But she also wanted this.
When Dana touched her clit with her index finger, spreading the wetness between her legs to the sensitive area, Monica finally felt something again. Pleasure washed over her as Dana first gently stroked her and then replaced the finger with her mouth and tongue.
Monica gasped and leaned back. She didn't know whether Dana had done this before and she didn't care as she felt Dana settle into a steady rhythm with her tongue. She felt Dana sliding a finger inside of her, pushing into her in the same rhythm as her tongue caressed her clit.
She felt her orgasm coming, but pushed it back, just to savor the sensation a bit longer. This was good, this was what she wanted. But when Dana added a second finger, she couldn't hold back any more. With a loud moan, she pushed herself against Dana, the added pressure pushing her over the brink.
And for a few seconds she forgot it all: the ruins, the deaths, the destroyed future, the darkness all around them. For only a few moments, there was light.
Still out of breath from the experience, Monica wished she could forget again. She kissed Dana.